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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to make DD pay for driving lessons (that are from me)?

240 replies

woonnoow · 20/11/2016 20:22

Hi all,

My daughter is 17. She is just beginning to learn to drive. I'm giving her lessons - I have offered to get her 'proper' ones for Christmas, but she finds it better with me.

I take her everyday, so that's an hour of my time. I don't mind, but I work from home, so my time is obviously really important. AIBU to charge her £5 for an hour?

She seems to roll her eyes when I ask for it, saying that her friends' parents don't make them pay (that typical phrase! Grin) so AIBU?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 20/11/2016 20:30

Don't take her every day?
Start work earlier or do an evening in the evening?
Maybe ask her to contribute to insurance or petrol if you're skint and she can afford it. But if you were that broke you wouldn't be offering professional lessons for Christmas. Hmm

MagicMojito · 20/11/2016 20:30

Then again maybe OP is onto something and we're the daft ones hereHmm

I have a toddler that i could make a few quid out of toilet training Grin

whattheseithakasmean · 20/11/2016 20:31

You sound like the meanest meanie in meanie land - charging your child for teaching them to drive. Do you also have an hourly rate for teaching them to cook and bake, learning table manners, washing their clothes?

You really can't start charging for being a parent.

Lessthanaballpark · 20/11/2016 20:32

Of course YABU! She's your daughter for goodness sake.

woonnoow · 20/11/2016 20:33

She pays for petrol/insurance. Insurance came out of her birthday money. I do sometimes pay for petrol though!

Clearly I am horrible then.

OP posts:
MissMillament · 20/11/2016 20:33

I think it's a great idea. I might take it up myself. In fact, I might even go a bit further.
Made a lovely beef stew for dinner tonight - they all had seconds - I think #3 a portion is perfectly reasonable.
Laundry service - washed, dried and delivered to their rooms - would #5 a load be enough?
Lift home from party last night - minicab would deffo have cost #10 - half that for mum's rates would be a good deal, no?
OP - can you see how ridiculous you are being?

OneEpisode · 20/11/2016 20:33

Is dd working? Do you give her pocket money that she'd spend on lessons (from a professional, from you?)
Well done for teaching her. My d dad taught his kids, patience of a saint.

AppleAndBlackberry · 20/11/2016 20:33

When I learnt to drive it was once a week. Surely you can give your DD an hour or two of your time each week???

steff13 · 20/11/2016 20:34

Then again maybe OP is onto something and we're the daft ones here.

My son is about to turn 18, maybe I should start tallying up his bill. Helping him learn to walk is really going to cost him; that's a valuable skill.

blueskyinmarch · 20/11/2016 20:35

So you take her out for an hour a day and want to charge her £5 per hour. That means she would have to pay you £35 each week? Where is she going to get that money from? You are being ridiculous!

Floweringcactus · 20/11/2016 20:35

YABVVU

Maybe invoice her for all those hours of 'babysitting' while you're at it!

PoisonousSmurf · 20/11/2016 20:35

As JC024 said it is ILLEGAL TO CHARGE if you are not an ADI driver. You also must take out insurance to cover the young driver. And have nerves of steel!
Best pay for some proper lessons. That would be a great Xmas present.

Redglitter · 20/11/2016 20:35

She's already paid for insurance and pays for the petrol and you still want to charge her on top of that. Wow just wow

Wolfiefan · 20/11/2016 20:35

I'm off to find my children. Need to decide how much to charge them for the roast dinner I cooked today.
Jeez. Could we get them to pay for the number of hours we were in labour?! Grin

woonnoow · 20/11/2016 20:36

She has a part-time job, so she can afford it. I wouldn't if she couldn't. That would be mean.

OP posts:
clare2307 · 20/11/2016 20:36

I think it would be really mean to charge your daughter for a few hours of your time!! If you take her every day for an hour that's £35 a week... If she is paying for insurance & petrol it isn't even costing you anything!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 20/11/2016 20:37

YAB very U.

steff13 · 20/11/2016 20:37

Well done for teaching her. My d dad taught his kids, patience of a saint.

It's typical for parents here (US) to teach their kids to drive. In my state, they have to have 8 hours with a licensed instructor to take their road test, but they also have to have an additional 50 hours with a licensed driver.

Redglitter · 20/11/2016 20:37

I bet she's paying for a damn sight more petrol than she uses too

RentANDBills · 20/11/2016 20:40

So she pays you £35 a week for driving lessons, plus petrol?
Most of my friends took one lesson a week, at £20 so whilst its obviously better value in terms of hourly rate, she's still racking up significant cost so not really "saving"?
£35 a week is a lot of money, realistically.

Sorry OP, I think YABVU. And really quite mean Confused

NeverGoOutOfStyle · 20/11/2016 20:43

What do you actually want the money for if she pays for the fuel and insurance? is it your time you're asking her to pay for?

Meadows76 · 20/11/2016 20:43

If you want her to think you are a proper arse hole then yeah, go ahead and charge her.

Seriously though, no, don't bloody charge her.

Boredbeforeievenbegan · 20/11/2016 20:44

Wow! Yabu.

CatchingBabies · 20/11/2016 20:44

Wow I can't believe this!

I get your busy and time is important etc. but what's the difference between charging your children to do their laundry, take them to school and this?

You don't charge your children for you time, you give it freely because you chose to have them and that's what you sign up for!

woonnoow · 20/11/2016 20:45

Yeah, the time, as I won't be working during that hour

OP posts:
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