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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to make DD pay for driving lessons (that are from me)?

240 replies

woonnoow · 20/11/2016 20:22

Hi all,

My daughter is 17. She is just beginning to learn to drive. I'm giving her lessons - I have offered to get her 'proper' ones for Christmas, but she finds it better with me.

I take her everyday, so that's an hour of my time. I don't mind, but I work from home, so my time is obviously really important. AIBU to charge her £5 for an hour?

She seems to roll her eyes when I ask for it, saying that her friends' parents don't make them pay (that typical phrase! Grin) so AIBU?

OP posts:
Gazelda · 21/11/2016 08:16

Do you charge her for any other parenting you do for her? If you drop her to a friend's, do you change her taxi fee? Do you make her pay for time you spend helping her with homework?

KayTee87 · 21/11/2016 08:25

lol surely not op? Shock
I'm going to charge my son double time for getting me up at 3am for a feed. Grin

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 21/11/2016 08:31

Oh and the shit parenting comment isn't harsh IMO. It is unbelievable given she already pays insurance and fuel.
She is getting to an age where it will probably decide your relationship into adulthood. I'd say you were treading on very thin ground if you actually want to have/maintain one as she gets older. If of course, you want her to disappear and not bother with you anymore, then by all means, carry on in the same manner.

I really hope you realise just how very mean you are OP. That, or had a good giggle at the responses troll Grin

Insanityprofanity · 21/11/2016 08:33

Im just here waiting for MN to tell us about the bill theyve received for this twunts time spent on here and not working Hmm

Could also have spent this "free" time teaching DD to drive...

helpme12335 · 21/11/2016 08:47

Is this a joke? Your poor daughter

headinthecloud · 21/11/2016 09:14

Yes. Yabvvvvvu.

Joinourclub · 21/11/2016 09:16

I'm astounded, that if you're the kind of parent who seriously begrudges the time that they spend with their child so much you're prepared to charge them for it, that your daughter has got to 17 and still wants to spend time with you!

HurricaneSwallows · 21/11/2016 10:07

Troll fail. This isn't even a little bit amusing!

Back under your bridge OP

Bambooshoots14 · 21/11/2016 10:13
Hmm
Quintessing · 21/11/2016 10:26

You are all laughing at the charging, but a classmate of mine when I was young got an invoice at her 20th birthday. It was itemized down to stamps for letters....
This young woman had a baby aged 18, and lived with her mum. Mother charged her 2 years of rent, bed and board backdated, electricity, babysitting each and every time she had sole care of her gd, like 10 minutes here and there when this young mum popped into the shower, etc. They are not in touch now.

debbs77 · 21/11/2016 13:31

My initial thought was what a great idea! Teaches her that she has to pay for things in life and that life isn't a handout! Plus it affects your working day!

Mynestisfullofempty · 21/11/2016 13:42

steff13 "My son is about to turn 18, maybe I should start tallying up his bill. Helping him learn to walk is really going to cost him; that's a valuable skill."

Haven't you left it a bit late?

Mynestisfullofempty · 21/11/2016 13:54

My one thought reading the OP's posts is "Where is the love?" Who charges their own child for their time? Unbelievable and depressing.

Meadows76 · 21/11/2016 17:36

Teaches her that she has to pay for things in life Im afraid that's not the lesson most teens would take from this

pipsqueak25 · 21/11/2016 17:57

glad i'm not your dd, but may be she could buy a bit of petrol instead.

Meadows76 · 21/11/2016 17:59

but may be she could buy a bit of petrol instead. OP said she does. And pays the insurance!

ShowMePotatoSalad · 21/11/2016 18:01

Asking her to contribute to petrol and insurance costs: fair enough..

Charging her £5 a lesson because it's taking an hour of "your time": wtf...

Mynestisfullofempty · 21/11/2016 18:12

pipsqueak25 The daughter already pays for petrol and insurance, the OP wants to charge her for her time!

pipsqueak25 · 21/11/2016 18:15

sorry missed that bit mynes Blush op should jog on then, that is so mean.

Mynestisfullofempty · 21/11/2016 18:19

pipsqueak25 No need to be sorry, I hope I didn't seem cross with you in my post. Smile As you say it's so mean. I couldn't be like that with my daughter and judging by the replies nor could anyone but the OP. It's sad. Sad

pinkmagic1 · 21/11/2016 18:19

I think you are perfectly reasonable to charge her for insurance and petrol but it is very wrong to charge your own child for your time.

FranHastings · 21/11/2016 18:23

Completely unreasonable. I have never heard of such a thing!

user1479655572 · 21/11/2016 18:45

You keep say your time is important but no one's time is so important they can't spare an hour of it to spend time with their family.

WLF46 · 21/11/2016 18:45

Yes you're being completely unreasonable.

Unless you think that when you are lonely and in a nursing home it would be acceptable for her to charge you an hourly rate (plus travel costs) for her time in coming to visit you on your birthday?

pipsqueak25 · 21/11/2016 18:58

i really hope, although i doubt it. that this is a silly joke post, dd must be so upset with op, it is so sad i really feel for the dd if this is how 'dm' treats her, as if a parents time has to be brought, does anyone else wonder if this is the first time this has occurred in dd's life that mum's time is too valuable ?

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