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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to make DD pay for driving lessons (that are from me)?

240 replies

woonnoow · 20/11/2016 20:22

Hi all,

My daughter is 17. She is just beginning to learn to drive. I'm giving her lessons - I have offered to get her 'proper' ones for Christmas, but she finds it better with me.

I take her everyday, so that's an hour of my time. I don't mind, but I work from home, so my time is obviously really important. AIBU to charge her £5 for an hour?

She seems to roll her eyes when I ask for it, saying that her friends' parents don't make them pay (that typical phrase! Grin) so AIBU?

OP posts:
steff13 · 20/11/2016 20:46

So, there is no hour in the day that you wouldn't typically be working? I work from home, too, but only 10-12 hours a day. That leaves several hours free.

CurlyMango · 20/11/2016 20:49

You are being bloody unreasonable. Although she may well choose to barge you for tea and visits in later theirs!

DrQuinzel · 20/11/2016 20:50

YANBU at all OP.. I now can only work part time as I'm homeschooling DD, so I charge her half my hourly rate (I work in medicine but don't expect her to top up for my unsocial hours payments which she should be grateful for, but typically is not!)

In fact I'm just writing out the invoice for the 5 books I read her at bedtime and the cuddles she had to sleep. She's asleep now but my normal shift pattern is until 9pm so I'll invoice her until then, I didn't get a proper meal break as I had to get her a glass of milk mid-meal so I think that's only reasonable.

Redglitter · 20/11/2016 20:50

You can't spare ONE hour of the day for your daughter? Can't you just see it as a break from work and enjoy the time with her.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 20/11/2016 20:50

OP, are you actually the daughter? Is this a reverse?

If so, remember this when the time comes to pick mummy's nursing home. Wink

longdiling · 20/11/2016 20:51

I also think the op is on to something here. Ds took ages to learn to ride his bike without stabilisers, I could have made a fortune.

I really do think you're being incredibly mean. I've never heard of any parent doing this before. Can she get some practice while you're driving to places you'd be going to anyway? So if you're both in the car going somewhere let her practice.

WyldFyre · 20/11/2016 20:51

YABU if you plan on keeping the cash

YWNBU to put ALL the cash aside and use it to buy her her own cheap car when she passes her test

Bekksy · 20/11/2016 20:52

Well yes YABU. It's called being a parent. You don't get paid for it.

pringlecat · 20/11/2016 20:52

This is the sort of thing that parents do that their children never ever forgive and hold over them until the grave. Bad idea.

Trifleorbust · 20/11/2016 20:52

Are you taking the piss? Do it or don't. Don't charge her!

Mrsmadevans · 20/11/2016 20:53

This is a wind up of course op lol

bevelino · 20/11/2016 20:53

I actually burst out laughing when I read this post, OP is surely joking!

misshelena · 20/11/2016 20:55

Wow. You want to charge her for your time ON TOP of petrol and insurance which you are already charging her?! And she is not even technically an adult yet... incredible.

MrsBungle · 20/11/2016 20:55

I'm actually astounded. I can't believe you charge your child for an hour of your time! She also pays you petrol? I've never heard of any parent charging their kid in this way before.

ENormaSnob · 20/11/2016 20:57

Tighter than cramp...

madein1995 · 20/11/2016 20:58

YABU. She is your daughter nit a client , I think it disgusting you charge for yiur time

Cantusethatname · 20/11/2016 20:58

Although it's extremely frightening....I value the time I spend driving with DS17. It's just him and me and sometimes he even talks to me.
Isn't it part of being a parent? Part of what you sign up for? This can't be a real question.

Horsegirl1 · 20/11/2016 20:58

YES YABU . Bloody hell heard it all now

Halloweensnake · 20/11/2016 20:59

That's really funny ,nice light hearted thread..mine are the opposite they think I should pay them for the odd time they make me a cuppa

SpeckledyBanana · 20/11/2016 20:59

Charging her for petrol is fine IMO.

Lunar1 · 20/11/2016 21:00

What on earth is wrong with you?

Letmesleepalready · 20/11/2016 21:00

The only thing I would have asked for contribution is the insurance, if my DCs could afford it. I'm learning to drive (with an instructor) but we did have a look at insuring our car, so I could drive with DH, it's expensive!
As she's already paid it, I really don't think it's fair to charge her more! Ok, maybe petrol if you're really struggling.
I'm only driving an hour a week, but if she can do more, she'll be able to pass quite quickly, so surely it's only a short term inconvenience?

ShutUpSirius · 20/11/2016 21:00

Your child loves you. She wants you to teach her a massive life skill that as a mum, is your whole reason for being. The skill of independence.

And regardless of working from home you can give her a small 60 minutes of your day.

A whole hour ...

You don't charge your kid for time spent. That's your job.

So yes. You are being totally unreasonable. So very very unreasonable

I have a 20 year old. I would love for her to WANT to spend time with me...

Horsegirl1 · 20/11/2016 21:00

Part of being a parent is spending time with YOUR children. Charging them for your Time is fucking ridiculous and cruel

YouHadMeAtCake · 20/11/2016 21:00

This has to be a wind up. Surely no one is that tight! She pays for your petrol and you want to charge her for your time too?! Nah. Not falling for it.

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