...to ask you to share your embarassing hospital/doctor related experiences? (lighthearted)

[Niggit]

Recently, I had to have an upper GI tract endoscopy - basically a flexible camera down my throat into my stomach. The information sheet said something along the lines of "the procedure may cause a little retching". Now, my bladder control isn't all it could be under stress, having had a couple of DC an' all, so I thought I'd be all prepared and wear a maxi pad.

Oh dear. Oh dearie me. I'll draw a veil over the actual event, but when it was all over and I got up off the couch, I left an absolute pond behind - so much so that even the poor nurse, who was lovely (unlike the surgeon driving the endoscope, who I think secretly wanted to work for Dynorod), gave me a bit of a look. I had to travel home sitting on the dog towel.

The other one that springs to mind was shortly after the birth of DD, when we were all at home snuggled up together and feeling smug, DH decided that was the perfect moment to describe how my haemorrhoids inflated as I was bearing down. And now, even after all these years, I can't think about her birth without remembering that.

So AIBU to ask you to cheer me up on this grotty grey afternoon by sharing some of your toe-curling medical moments?

MissVictoria

I recorded ECGs for years. I quickly learned to tell people I needed to get to their chest and to undress to the waist.

Amazing how many men (never once a woman) took of their trousers and underwear.

friend of mine has a needle phobia and in particular a giving a sample of blood phoia.

I've been with her for a number of blood tests, the phlebotomist always says, "I won't hurt you" thinking she is like the 100 other people who say they have a phobia when they mean they don't like the procedure. I've got quite adept at catching her as she faints and telling them to get the space blankets.

She needed an op once and was so bad they let me stay with her in to the anesthetic room where she attempted to get off the trolley.

Nothing embarrasses me anymore. After years of seeing doctors. Not even telling the reception I couldn't hold my wee in and I please, could I be seen asap😂😂

I've a couple (don't we all as we get older?)

First I was having an abdo op that required filling the cavity with air. Was told quite forcefully beforehand that after the op I'd feel like I desperately needed to be but that in fact I wouldn't but it was the pressure of the air. Fine. So after the op I do indeed feel this way and the nurses are arguing with me that I don't need to pee and that I WAS TOLD I would feel like this. Only for me to turn round and say 'well the sodding air is making the bed wet!' As I lifted the bed covers to show them! Turned out the pre op course of diuretics hadn't worked properly on me.

When having dd, very slow progress led to them deciding to break my waters, but in all my pregnancy scans it had looked like big baby not much water, wrong! Completely soaked the dr that did the sweep and caught 2 midwives pretty well too! Pretty sure they were cursing my sonographers!

Ha not needed to be but needed to pee!!

These are hilarious!

In labour with dd2, the pain was really ramping up and the midwife was trying to get me to have gas and air. I declined a few times, explaining that it makes me really sick. She pressed the mouthpiece into my hand with an "it'll really help". I took one lung full and projectile vomited all over her.

I did warn her to be fair!

I went to my GP surgery for a smear with the practice nurse. She looked vaguely familiar but I thought it was probably because I'd seen her for my last smear. She asked me if I was happy for her to do my smear. I was a bit and breezily said yes, of course.

So she gets all up in my foof, all is well, I put my knickers back on, say goodbye and merrily go on my way.

I got halfway up the road, the realised I used to work with her.

Whilst in labour with DS I'd managed fine on gas and air for ages but then he turned back to back and I couldn't cope anymore so had the anaesthetist put the cannula in for more pain relief (can't remember the name now)

Anyway prior to going into labour I'd had a curry that night before realising I didn't feel right and heading to the hospital. After having the injection of pain relief (around an hour later) the midwife wanted me to go to the toilet and made sure nothing was blocking baby's exit but she sat me up far too quick and I knew I was going to be sick, I barely got the words out of my mouth when my hands shot up to my mouth and I spectacularly vomited everywhere, spraying through my hands, all over DP clothes and shoes and all down the midwife and of course it was all red and full of curry