Recently, I had to have an upper GI tract endoscopy - basically a flexible camera down my throat into my stomach. The information sheet said something along the lines of "the procedure may cause a little retching". Now, my bladder control isn't all it could be under stress, having had a couple of DC an' all, so I thought I'd be all prepared and wear a maxi pad.
Oh dear. Oh dearie me. I'll draw a veil over the actual event, but when it was all over and I got up off the couch, I left an absolute pond behind - so much so that even the poor nurse, who was lovely (unlike the surgeon driving the endoscope, who I think secretly wanted to work for Dynorod), gave me a bit of a look. I had to travel home sitting on the dog towel.
The other one that springs to mind was shortly after the birth of DD, when we were all at home snuggled up together and feeling smug, DH decided that was the perfect moment to describe how my haemorrhoids inflated as I was bearing down. 
And now, even after all these years, I can't think about her birth without remembering that.
So AIBU to ask you to cheer me up on this grotty grey afternoon by sharing some of your toe-curling medical moments?
AIBU?
...to ask you to share your embarassing hospital/doctor related experiences? (lighthearted)
Niggit · 16/11/2016 15:33
also, another, "made a fool of myself on gas and air" story - in labour, I was enjoying myself (weirdo) and giddy drunk on Gas and air and cracking terrible jokes non-stop. midwife calls in the consultant and a swarm of other people to examine me as she thinks baby might be breech. Midwifes asks "do you mind if Dr Blah examines you too" ...me "no, the more the merrier, why don't you all take a look!" 
I had a pelvic examination at hospital in the middle of the night, pitch black outside. A Dr and two midwives having a good look with my legs akimbo,the room light on and a massive lamp pointing at my bits.
It was only after they'd gone I realised no one had thought to close the curtains and a block of flats looked into my room.
Boop you've reminded me of my -bonkers GP. I had pain in my nipples a while ago, whenever I got cold they would go white and I'd need to warm them up with a hot bottle etc. GP said she had no idea of the cause , asked if my nipples were large as maybe increased surface area could make pain from the cold more likely. I whipped my boob out and GP remarked 'Aren't your nipples nice and pale? Can we swap?' ! Thank God I have been seeing her for years and am used to her.
I was showing her a problem down below too (pre vulval surgery , lots of examinations and discussion). She was explaining what they do in the operation etc, pointing out which bits needed to be removed and then said 'Funny, you look quite like me..' I think she was trying to be helpful and make me feel less 'weird' about the problems I had but it just gave me an image I didn't need!!
That might explain it Victoria, they both turn completely white when cold and I can't relieve the pain without a hot bottle or warm water. Been happening since I was 16 or so. GP suggested I wear padded bras and try not to let them get cold 
!
My grandma would have made sure you had a good woollen scarf crossed firmly over the chest under your coat 
I would get a nice cashmere one.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
These posts are so funny! Making me feel better about a procedure I'm due in a few weeks in case I say/do something!
If we can add vets... First dog we owned (1st for me but not for dh), I didn't know what to expect in a trip to the vets. Vet told dh to hold pooch by her head so he could take her temperature. I was thinking dh was holding her head to put the thermometer into her ear. However, as he slipped it up her bottom, I didn't feel so good, nearly fainted and had to be placed on a chair, head between legs taking deep breaths. All the while, the pooch wasn't even remotely bothered! Oh and my dh was all like, well how else would they take her temperature. Could've warned me!!!
Every doctor's I've been to (GP is in a walk in centre thing), has the bloody loos down the corridor for the STD/STI clinic! Its so awkward having to walk under the sign. Especially if you've got a UTI and need to give a wee sample, its like doing a walk of shame
ParisGellar I think it's to check for evidence of blood clots . I've just spent a few days in hospital and the docs were always checking my legs and ankles for swelling. I never seem to have shaved when I end up in either
OP I remember not realising you had a second set of waters until my second set of waters went ALL over the Anaesthetists' shoes when preparing me for an epidural with DS. (He was helping me on to the bed into the right position for the needle).
No 2. Ending up in Resus after a particular bad infection set my asthma off, telling the doc my nebs weren't working, him rushing over with magnesium in the cannula to me crying hysterically "what's that?" as my body literally 'let go'. Then literally being unable to breathe and just catching his face go ashen as he rushed back over to me. I still think I owe that poor doc a 'sorry I was ridiculously hysterical / nearly died on you box of chocolates or something'. I was also being quite insistent about needing a blanket because I was freezing but wasn't allowed as my temp was through the roof.
Oh, and snot crying (bubbles and everything) over a nice junior doctor when I'd been fobbed off for days and he finally confirmed I did have a chest infection and ordered nebs for me.
Lots more embarrassing ones but I think they'll do for now. Feeling better yet OP?
Being stitched after DD1. After dithering for a few hours whether they were going to or not(so epidural had worn off) and a 2 day labour, the young junior dr decided he would.
Bearing in mind I was knackered, had 8 people including the work experience girl watching me give birth, and was throwing up the whole time, I was past caring.. As he was inspecting my battered vag I inadvertently let a huge fart go in his face. In my defence I had no idea it was coming and to be frank I didn't really care.. Under normal circumstances I would have been mortified but at that point in time I did not give a flying fuck!
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