Recently, I had to have an upper GI tract endoscopy - basically a flexible camera down my throat into my stomach. The information sheet said something along the lines of "the procedure may cause a little retching". Now, my bladder control isn't all it could be under stress, having had a couple of DC an' all, so I thought I'd be all prepared and wear a maxi pad.
Oh dear. Oh dearie me. I'll draw a veil over the actual event, but when it was all over and I got up off the couch, I left an absolute pond behind - so much so that even the poor nurse, who was lovely (unlike the surgeon driving the endoscope, who I think secretly wanted to work for Dynorod), gave me a bit of a look. I had to travel home sitting on the dog towel.
The other one that springs to mind was shortly after the birth of DD, when we were all at home snuggled up together and feeling smug, DH decided that was the perfect moment to describe how my haemorrhoids inflated as I was bearing down. 
And now, even after all these years, I can't think about her birth without remembering that.
So AIBU to ask you to cheer me up on this grotty grey afternoon by sharing some of your toe-curling medical moments?
AIBU?
...to ask you to share your embarassing hospital/doctor related experiences? (lighthearted)
Niggit · 16/11/2016 15:33
I frequently have to take my Mum as she's a bit deaf. On one occasion the GP asked if she'd brought the sample with her he'd asked for. She rummaged around her ample handbag and plonked an almost full jam jar on the desk in front of him. I was 
As we were leaving he tipped it down the sink and offered her the jar back. She thanked him proclaiming they 'always come in useful'.
Not me but my parents - well sort-of me too.
When mum was pregnant with me, I kept turning to breech position. They'd turn me round, and I would turn back before the next antenatal visit. Eventually they decided to take mum in, give her an anaesthetic, turn me round and wedge me firmly into her pelvis.
As part of the admissions process, the nurse asked mum what her religion was. Mum is an atheist, so said 'None'. The nurse looked a little baffled and asked, 'is that n-u-n?' Dad was outside the cubicle laughing his socks off! 
Stratters yep that'll be the magnesium 
Apparently it opens up all your blood vessels.
I pooed so much in the birthing pool that a second midwife had to be fetched to constantly wield the Poo net..
When being stitched up after my first child was born- the Registrar turned to the midwife and said, "Was that there?" Midwife responded, "No it was there". 
AwaywiththePixies27 Much better! Thankyou for sharing your experiences everyone - every time I come back to this thread I end up laughing.
Briarthorn, that is awesome. I'm so pleased. The power of Mumsnet 
I had to take my youngest to A&E once when he was about one (high fever, screaming non stop etc). Turns out he had double ear infection. The doctor asked me to keep my son on my lap so that he could examine his ears properly. My son was still screaming so I bent my head down slightly to kiss his head, except that the doctor had placed his hand on it just a moment before. So I ended up kissing the doctors hand instead
Hberries
I used to work at a veterinary surgery, and was talking to a woman while fussing the very hairy little dog she was holding. I was scratching and stroking the dog's chest, and thinking, "Gosh, you're bony..."
I was stroking her hand through its fur.
I'm going to post mine but I can feel myself going red already!
I was in for an early scan to check on my baby and the sonographer asked me to get on the bed. I sat on the chair, took my shoes and socks off, then my leggings, then my pants. No embarrassment on my part as I decided to be confident about my naked body as I'd need to be naked when I delivered.
By the time I was lying on the bed half naked, it began to dawn on me that it was a scan of my tummy ! I asked my husband why he didn't say anything but I talked the whole time I was getting naked. To make it worse, there was someone else in the room too!
In my defence, the last scan I'd had was to check on my miscarriage and I had to have an internal for that.
Oh I have loads from being in labour with DD (seeing as I was in labour for about four fucking days..)
I went to the midwifery unit too early. Got sent home. Laboured for hours at home. Waters went - a barely noticeable trickle but I felt it. We went back in. I practically crawled into the unit, thought I was going to die. Same midwife was very eye-rolly with me. Examined me and said "your waters are fine. You need to go home and wait" next thing they exploded all over her
I went into the birthing pool, doing fine with gas and air (I would install that shiz in my bedroom). I got very irate as they kept dragging me out of the pool to try to pee and I just couldn't manage it. I felt that I needed to go but nothing was happening. I was starting to panic as they started saying if I didn't pee I would need to come out of the pool. I was extremely argumentative about this apparently and I shouted something about how I would be speaking to President Bartlett about this (we had been watching a lot of West Wing in the last few weeks). DH was howling.
I went to delivery suite. I farted a LOT and apologised profusely.
Eventually had a c section. Similar vomity story. I said I was going to be sick. Was assured I wouldn't be sick, just the meds etc. "I really am" "no no, you're fine..." I look desperately at DH who leans over and grabs a cardboard bowl from the side (not all heroes wear capes). Procedure was halted as I spewed about eight pints of water.
Ah, ''tis a magical time indeed.
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