Recently, I had to have an upper GI tract endoscopy - basically a flexible camera down my throat into my stomach. The information sheet said something along the lines of "the procedure may cause a little retching". Now, my bladder control isn't all it could be under stress, having had a couple of DC an' all, so I thought I'd be all prepared and wear a maxi pad.
Oh dear. Oh dearie me. I'll draw a veil over the actual event, but when it was all over and I got up off the couch, I left an absolute pond behind - so much so that even the poor nurse, who was lovely (unlike the surgeon driving the endoscope, who I think secretly wanted to work for Dynorod), gave me a bit of a look. I had to travel home sitting on the dog towel.
The other one that springs to mind was shortly after the birth of DD, when we were all at home snuggled up together and feeling smug, DH decided that was the perfect moment to describe how my haemorrhoids inflated as I was bearing down. 
And now, even after all these years, I can't think about her birth without remembering that.
So AIBU to ask you to cheer me up on this grotty grey afternoon by sharing some of your toe-curling medical moments?
AIBU?
...to ask you to share your embarassing hospital/doctor related experiences? (lighthearted)
Niggit · 16/11/2016 15:33
moonfacebaby 
I had to have a large hole flushed with saline. We had to go to an utterly filthy ward, there was blood everywhere.
The doc prepared a giant hypodermic, something like a vet would use on a rhinoceros. then to be funny, he said;
'but first, I have to give your son this injection' brandishing the needle and advanced on 14yo DS. If it wasnt for my lightning reflexes he would have got punched. I was a bit hysterical for the rest of the visit then the painkillers kicked in and I got the giggles.
Probably when I was giving birth and the male doctor had his head between my legs to get some blood from my son's scalp to check his oxygen levels. I did the most. massive. fart. In. His. Face.
Despite the fact I was on day 3 of labour, had zero sleep and was a mess. I DID care and WAS mortified
When I was hugely pregnant with my PFB I went to the toilet and found that I had a massive pile hanging out of my bum. I was terrified and not sure what was going to happen so made an emergency appointment at the doctors.
I was embarrassed when he told me to get on all fours on the table so he could check it out, although not as embarrassed when he parted my cheeks and pulled out a half digested piece of potato skin that was hanging out. He then shoved it in my face and gave me lecture about chewing my food properly 
.
In labour with DS, things were taking ages, and the doctor came to examine me. She had a bit of a rummage around and declared that baby wasn't stuck as there was loads of room up there. Off my face on pethidine and G&A I screeched, 'that's what they all say!'
Doctor looked a bit 
but did laugh along with me (I think) DH was
Not me but a good friend had to have a finger up the bum type examination. She was nervous and it was uncomfortable so perhaps thats why she exclaimed 'Are you sure thats your finger'? The doctor didn't laugh but I howled when she told me
Cervical cone biopsy, got myself in the gown, feet in stirrups, scared but bit intrigued about getting to watch it on the screen. All set to go, I'd left my knickers on
I coughed when the MW was examining me, and amniotic fluid gushed over her head like a tsunami!
EMCS with dd. I turned to DH and whispered "Ah well, at least my fanny will still be tight". Although apparently I didn't whisper at all, everyone in theatre heard, but they thought it was hilarious so I blame the drugs...
Not at the doctors but I threw up on the dentist when they did the mounds for my mouth guards. I was 34 weeks pregnant and hormonal and I cried for days about it
She gave a little 'ooh, do you need this?' Was a bloody receipt that must have been stuck on the tissue
I'm crying.
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In maternity ward during early labour, having check up with male Dr. Had peed in foil dish thing they give you, and as I was opening the door back into the room, the Dr tried to stick his head round to see what was taking me so long. Knocking the sample in my hand, so a load of it sloshed out
She was nervous and it was uncomfortable so perhaps thats why she exclaimed 'Are you sure thats your finger'
Oh God, what did the doctor say!
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