...to ask you to share your embarassing hospital/doctor related experiences? (lighthearted)

[Niggit]

Recently, I had to have an upper GI tract endoscopy - basically a flexible camera down my throat into my stomach. The information sheet said something along the lines of "the procedure may cause a little retching". Now, my bladder control isn't all it could be under stress, having had a couple of DC an' all, so I thought I'd be all prepared and wear a maxi pad.

Oh dear. Oh dearie me. I'll draw a veil over the actual event, but when it was all over and I got up off the couch, I left an absolute pond behind - so much so that even the poor nurse, who was lovely (unlike the surgeon driving the endoscope, who I think secretly wanted to work for Dynorod), gave me a bit of a look. I had to travel home sitting on the dog towel.

The other one that springs to mind was shortly after the birth of DD, when we were all at home snuggled up together and feeling smug, DH decided that was the perfect moment to describe how my haemorrhoids inflated as I was bearing down. And now, even after all these years, I can't think about her birth without remembering that.

So AIBU to ask you to cheer me up on this grotty grey afternoon by sharing some of your toe-curling medical moments?

[Christinedaae17]

Whilst in labour with DS I'd managed fine on gas and air for ages but then he turned back to back and I couldn't cope anymore so had the anaesthetist put the cannula in for more pain relief (can't remember the name now)

Anyway prior to going into labour I'd had a curry that night before realising I didn't feel right and heading to the hospital. After having the injection of pain relief (around an hour later) the midwife wanted me to go to the toilet and made sure nothing was blocking baby's exit but she sat me up far too quick and I knew I was going to be sick, I barely got the words out of my mouth when my hands shot up to my mouth and I spectacularly vomited everywhere, spraying through my hands, all over DP clothes and shoes and all down the midwife and of course it was all red and full of curry

[RhodaBorrocks]

I went to my GP surgery for a smear with the practice nurse. She looked vaguely familiar but I thought it was probably because I'd seen her for my last smear. She asked me if I was happy for her to do my smear. I was a bit and breezily said yes, of course.

So she gets all up in my foof, all is well, I put my knickers back on, say goodbye and merrily go on my way.

I got halfway up the road, the realised I used to work with her.

[JennyOnAPlate]

These are hilarious!

In labour with dd2, the pain was really ramping up and the midwife was trying to get me to have gas and air. I declined a few times, explaining that it makes me really sick. She pressed the mouthpiece into my hand with an "it'll really help". I took one lung full and projectile vomited all over her.

I did warn her to be fair!

[Graphista]

Ha not needed to be but needed to pee!!

[Graphista]

I've a couple (don't we all as we get older?)

First I was having an abdo op that required filling the cavity with air. Was told quite forcefully beforehand that after the op I'd feel like I desperately needed to be but that in fact I wouldn't but it was the pressure of the air. Fine. So after the op I do indeed feel this way and the nurses are arguing with me that I don't need to pee and that I WAS TOLD I would feel like this. Only for me to turn round and say 'well the sodding air is making the bed wet!' As I lifted the bed covers to show them! Turned out the pre op course of diuretics hadn't worked properly on me.

When having dd, very slow progress led to them deciding to break my waters, but in all my pregnancy scans it had looked like big baby not much water, wrong! Completely soaked the dr that did the sweep and caught 2 midwives pretty well too! Pretty sure they were cursing my sonographers!

[Thinkingofausername1]

Nothing embarrasses me anymore. After years of seeing doctors. Not even telling the reception I couldn't hold my wee in and I please, could I be seen asap😂😂

[sashh]

MissVictoria

I recorded ECGs for years. I quickly learned to tell people I needed to get to their chest and to undress to the waist.

Amazing how many men (never once a woman) took of their trousers and underwear.

friend of mine has a needle phobia and in particular a giving a sample of blood phoia.

I've been with her for a number of blood tests, the phlebotomist always says, "I won't hurt you" thinking she is like the 100 other people who say they have a phobia when they mean they don't like the procedure. I've got quite adept at catching her as she faints and telling them to get the space blankets.

She needed an op once and was so bad they let me stay with her in to the anesthetic room where she attempted to get off the trolley.

[chanie44]

I intended to sort out my lady garden before having DC1, but went into labour a few days early. Ended up with EMCS and lying paralysed in theatre and the Doctor says 'shall I shave her, she's very hairy'. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

When I as about 19, a consultant wanted to examine me down below. He handed me sheet to wrap around myself whilst he went to get a nurse to be an extra person in the room. I stripped off and realised the Dr had given me a pillow case and not a proper sheet. By the time I realised, I only they were back in the room so I didn't have time to grab a sheet, so I had to try and cover myself with the pillow case.

[RazWaz]

I had the same procedure as OP and it ended...slightly differently. Mine was aborted prematurely by emergency as I was suffocating, I threw up so much I started having a massive nosebleed. With a tube down my throat, constant retching, and blood gushing from my nose I couldn't breathe at all and gave the staff a good fright as the oxygen monitors started blaring.

Luckily the drugs were good and I remember very little, but I had to do it all over again a month later (ended up having it done 3 times in total).

[OctopusesGarden]

I am howling with laughter at some of these!

DF is a consultant and my home city is pretty cliquey, so lots of embarrassing ones (eg surgeon asking mum round for dinner while 14 year old me had a rectal exam during appendicitis). After back surgery, IVF, endo and 2dc I'm pretty sure I could fill a few pages.

Most vivid one, early 20s and had just met my now dh. Ended up in dad's hospital with kidney problems. As it's a teaching hospital consultant and ALL interns took part in ward rounds. Also, DF was pretty tyrannical so pretty sure many interns just fancied a nosey.

Consultant kept asking if I'd any "unusual sexual activities" recently. Gave it some thought and answered what I thought was the question. DH explained after that there was no need to list positions. Apparently all he wanted to know was had we had bum sex. We hadn't, but I listed every other thing we'd done! I still cringe thinking about it.

[Alexandriaaaa]

Oh I have loads from being in labour with DD (seeing as I was in labour for about four fucking days..)

I went to the midwifery unit too early. Got sent home. Laboured for hours at home. Waters went - a barely noticeable trickle but I felt it. We went back in. I practically crawled into the unit, thought I was going to die. Same midwife was very eye-rolly with me. Examined me and said "your waters are fine. You need to go home and wait" next thing they exploded all over her

I went into the birthing pool, doing fine with gas and air (I would install that shiz in my bedroom). I got very irate as they kept dragging me out of the pool to try to pee and I just couldn't manage it. I felt that I needed to go but nothing was happening. I was starting to panic as they started saying if I didn't pee I would need to come out of the pool. I was extremely argumentative about this apparently and I shouted something about how I would be speaking to President Bartlett about this (we had been watching a lot of West Wing in the last few weeks). DH was howling.

I went to delivery suite. I farted a LOT and apologised profusely.

Eventually had a c section. Similar vomity story. I said I was going to be sick. Was assured I wouldn't be sick, just the meds etc. "I really am" "no no, you're fine..." I look desperately at DH who leans over and grabs a cardboard bowl from the side (not all heroes wear capes). Procedure was halted as I spewed about eight pints of water.

Ah, ''tis a magical time indeed.

[likepeasandcarrots]

While in hospital awaiting an op my husband asked the doc if I'd had a pre-med. I apparently sat bolt upright and loudly announced 'no I have not peed the bed' and laid back down in a huff. I had indeed had a pre-med so have no recollection of this at all!

[LifeBeginsNow]

I'm going to post mine but I can feel myself going red already!

I was in for an early scan to check on my baby and the sonographer asked me to get on the bed. I sat on the chair, took my shoes and socks off, then my leggings, then my pants. No embarrassment on my part as I decided to be confident about my naked body as I'd need to be naked when I delivered.

By the time I was lying on the bed half naked, it began to dawn on me that it was a scan of my tummy ! I asked my husband why he didn't say anything but I talked the whole time I was getting naked. To make it worse, there was someone else in the room too!

In my defence, the last scan I'd had was to check on my miscarriage and I had to have an internal for that.

[Niggit]

Hberries

I used to work at a veterinary surgery, and was talking to a woman while fussing the very hairy little dog she was holding. I was scratching and stroking the dog's chest, and thinking, "Gosh, you're bony..."

I was stroking her hand through its fur.

[Hberries]

I had to take my youngest to A&E once when he was about one (high fever, screaming non stop etc). Turns out he had double ear infection. The doctor asked me to keep my son on my lap so that he could examine his ears properly. My son was still screaming so I bent my head down slightly to kiss his head, except that the doctor had placed his hand on it just a moment before. So I ended up kissing the doctors hand instead

[Niggit]

AwaywiththePixies27 Much better! Thankyou for sharing your experiences everyone - every time I come back to this thread I end up laughing.

Briarthorn, that is awesome. I'm so pleased. The power of Mumsnet

[Freyathecatt]

When being stitched up after my first child was born- the Registrar turned to the midwife and said, "Was that there?" Midwife responded, "No it was there".

[JoffreyBaratheon]

Not me but my youngest. When he was born, his back was so hairy, they actually did tests on him to check he didn't have this rare condition that gives babies hairy backs. He just... had a hairy back (Italian dad). Youngest has also had a moustache since he was little. Now he's 14, he's proud of it.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

I pooed so much in the birthing pool that a second midwife had to be fetched to constantly wield the Poo net..

[weaselwords]

I roared at the anaesthetist to "Just fucking do it" during labour, while he was trying to get my informed consent by waffling on about the side effects of an epidural. He looked really offended. Husband delights in recounting that story to me.

[Briarthorn]

I would like to say thank you for this thread. My DD also had BV and I didn't even think of retained tampon as a possible cause. She saw the G.P twice over a few weeks and even on the second occasion was reluctantly given antibiotics and told not to use strong soaps, but this wasn't even mentioned as a possibility.

After reading the post by MyGiddyUncle I asked her to get into the bath and check and...

It could have been so much worse. MN to the rescue again.

[Claireshh]

When pg with my second child I was booked in for a c-section at 38 weeks. I decided to have a bikini wax the day before going into hospital. The beautician either had the wax too hot or my skin was ridiculously fragile/sensitive. She ripped/burnt the skin all around my foof. I looked like a burns victim. I was so mortified 😳

[StStrattersOfMN]

Ah, thank you Away. I was genuinely baffled at the sheer quantity. No wonder I was on a saline drip, I must have been practically dessicated.

[Spadequeen]

Am off work today feeling rotten, this has cheered me up no end. Will try and add some of my own later