To be upset with school?

[PointyJat]

My ds started school in September. In his class is another boy (I'll call him Fred) who randomly kicked another child, causing bruises in the first week. Yesterday I was called in as Fred had punched my son in the playground, my son was upset and didn't fight back, school says it was a random act (ie they hadn't been arguing or playing, Fred just walked up and hit him).

His teacher said they are watching Fred carefully and he is being assessed. This morning, I found out from other parents that at least four other children have been hurt by Fred, each time it's random, eg one girl was hit in the eye during class, one boy was pushed over when he walked out of the toilet. School didn't tell me about all these other incidents.

I'm really upset that Fred is continuing to hurt children and the teachers don't have a handle on it. I need to see the teacher again to find out what's happening now i know about all the other incidents.They need to protect the children from injury but aibu to think the school haven't done enough so far? It's not just little pushes or shoves

I'm sorry your little boy was hurt but YABU to expect the school to divulge that he has hurt other children before.

Gym school is not a workplace. An education is a privilege and not a necessity.

Children do have the right to safety but ALL children also have the right to an education.

Home education is not something which is ordered....and a good thing too. If that were the case, we'd have umpteen children with little to no education and parents who were unable to work!

This means that sometimes, children with additional needs, have to be catered for. If a child arrives in reception with un- diagnosed additional needs and as a result of that, lashes out at his or her peers, then the school must investigate the causes of the lashing out and then put in place measures to ensure that it does not happen again.

That's what is happening here.

Are these children 4 and 5 yrs old?

I'm not sure it's fair to accuse the OP and other parents of 'gossiping'.

It's natural to share your concerns with other parents, when your child has problems.

The conversation could easily have gone like this....

Parent 1: How's your child getting on at school?

Parent 2: Not so bad, but he was upset yesterday because Fred hurt him.

Parent 2: Oh same here, my child was punched by him last week.

Parent 3 : Yes, he pushed my child over too.

Parent 4: And mine.

Of course they could be gossiping, but I think it's unfair to automatically assume it, when they may well be just discussing their concerns for the safety of their own kids.

Sadly it is naive. A permanent 1:1 for Fred represents a significant cost to a school (a full salary) and that can't be put in place without funding.

School can't really discuss other children with you.

We were in a similar position earlier this year, and school couldn't tell me anything about the other child, including their name (although the child's mum did apologise and talk to me about some of the child's problems).

School did say that DS1 wasn't to blame, that the other child was getting help with some issues, and that they were treating it seriously because they had a duty of care to keep the pupils safe, but as they're bound by pupil confidentiality, they couldn't go into detail about the other child or incidents with other children.

Pointy you may be right re a one to one for Fred but that can't be done without assessment.

They're doing that. It's not an overnight process.

"Ill will" towards a small child is pathetic.

"Education is a privilege and not a necessity."

Really User(random collection of numbers)?!!?

Where do you suggest school find and fund a 1-1 from? Sadly money doesn't grow on trees! Even the best 1-1 can not watch a child every second of every day anyway!

Schools provide the first chunk of the funding but that wouldn't be enough to provide full time 1-1. Generally any other funding, like most things special needs related, needs to be fought for.

'Young thug' indeed. As charming as that piece of advice is it is useless as schools need to show they have done everything they can to support a child to stay in school before they cam exclude them. I'm sure you would agree that is what should happen if you or your children or grandchildren ever have a child with a disability that effects their behaviour.

the young thug needs taking out of the school until he has been assessed - at the moment he is a danger to all other children in the school, and to himself as he might attack a bigger child who may give him a good hiding

He's 4 FFS

User147 etc...maybe he is...but without assessment nobody can know for sure. So it must be checked.

Crash...it is a privilege yes. Of course it's necessary in order to GET ON in the world...what I meant was that it can't be compared to getting hit in the workplace as a previous poster did.

Ds is in year 2. His "assessments" started in nursery year. He finally got an ehcp last month and a diagnosis last week. It's a long day drawn out process sadly. Having to deal with gossiping, judgemental parents only adds to the stress!

Young thug is not an appropriate label to stick on this boy!

He's only a little boy, he's probably not even 5 years old, he's struggling with his behaviour just now and the school are keeping an eye on things and he is being assessed. I don't know what more you expect the school to do.
Of course it wasn't nice that your son was punched but chances are he'll be hurt again by someone else in the not too distant future because he's with a class of 30 young children who might not have perfect behaviour all of the time and who knows your own ds might be the next one to do the hitting.It happens, that Fred has hit others is none of your business really, getting so worked up about it won't help you, your son or anyone else. Just tell your son to tell an adult if someone hurts him and let the school deal with things their end.

six children have been attacked
Attacked? Such inflamatory language. These are 4-year-olds!
Give the school a chance. They ARE dealing with it.
I detest the lynch mob mentality you have involved yourself in that wants him excluded. By assessing they can try to work out what his triggers are and put appropriate support in to help him.

Sirzy my child had 1-1 last year. Not because he was lashing out more the other way round and his sn made him vulnerable and unable to seek out help when he needed it. The school applied for top up funding to pay for it.

Yes, it is naive, unfortunately. Parents have to jump through a zillion hoops to get their children properly assessed and then have to do the same to get anything resembling appropriate provision for them.

But of course you child should be safe.

I think Fred should be taken out of school until his assessment is complete as he is obviously a danger to the other pupils.
How do you assess a child in school when he is not allowed to be in school?
It's not really going to help if no observations are done in the environment where the problem is happening.

User147: How does a 'special need' equate to 'some other nonsense'?

Oh god the random user number names are doing my fucking head in.

Sadly it's is extremely unlikely he'll get a one to one TA. Ideally this would be best for everyone, ideally this is what everyone wants, practically it's unlikely to happen any time soon - if ever. It's hard for all involved.

Attacked? Such inflamatory language. These are 4-year-olds!

Not fair to minimise it though.

They were still attacked, no matter what the children's ages.

There are also lots of people who seem to think 1:1 is a panacea for all problems experienced by children in school. In my school, the kids who need this support the most are the ones who tend to resist it the most, constantly trying to get away from their TA, refusing to work with them in class, being rude to them so they won't want to work with them. This level of individual attention makes kids feel different to their peers and can be counter-productive.