To be upset that I think BOTH my parents (separated) are leaving their inheritances to my nephew and niece?

[scaryclown]

Just that really. I have been living in near and actual.poverty for a couple of years now, and i have realised with great sadness that my parents are kind of writing me out of history. I've not had children yet as i wanted to.be at least stable finacially first, but now i realise i might not be before my parents die, and so.they are.thinking of completely ignoring me. AIBU to be sad/angry/upset about this? i feel as though.i ought to.confront them, but also know that if i do they are b I th of the 'well if you are going to.be like that you don't deserve the.money'

I am also a bit miffed that my dad has been on two holidays a year for a decade and yet i haven't been.able to.even afford.food sometimes. Am i wrong to hate this??

the questions...
Masters will consilidate,excuse and reinforce my higher ability that the world of work has severely damaged but its also about proving my sidding mind works.Everyone I know woth a masters gets the interviews i want.
I have been thrpugh three min wage jobs because NEWSFLASH minimum wage employers are shitty employers who lay off when they can zero hours with no work and employ on a week to week basis. two were seasonal anyway. All the jobs were appropriate, three (the minimum) were recommended by the sancioner herself ..THE JOBCENTRE HAVE A SVRIPT TO SANCTION PEOPLE IRRESPECTIVE OF WHETHER THEY ARE MEETING THE RULES OR NOT . (they also made an appointment for me at a centre 20 mins away from the job centre at my signing time and then tried to saction me for not signing. I threatened to report their fake 'one day induction' that was five mins to the government and they relented.)
They akso cancelled an appointment and tried to sanction me for not turning up but i refused to leave reception desk and complained repeatedly so they dropped that (thpugh i nearly got sanctioned for 'inappropriate behaviour, but I put a written complaint in first so they dropped that too). I am working at the minute

TBH OP you sound like a bit of a nightmare.

fwiw i was a prize winning grad, had business awards, was the brightest in my class in three STEM subjevts at school, was accepted for officer training in military, have high IQ, etc etc. but I'm superglued to the vottom and now if i have children even my parents want to ensure they have nothing and O have nothing. Its like NOONE approves of me AT ALL...

What happened then? After you started off so well?

Now you are just sounding a bit 'woe is me'. It isn't up to your parents to provide for any children you might have.

Everyone I know woth a masters gets the interviews i want.

OP, is it just the Masters' degree getting them ahead though?

You don't have to explain yourself on this forum anymore than you wish to. However, based on the information and explanations that you have provided thus far, it is becoming fast apparent that you have been in a difficult situation for awhile (financially and work-wise) and are extremely resentful that your parents have not bailed you out (whether to fund your education, or to leave you some inheritance).

Have you questioned just why everything has been going wrong? Where did it all start? Was any of it due to action/inaction on your part?

Many PP have expressed their sympathies for your predicament. I hope that things get better for you, however, the hard truth is that sympathies will not get you any closer to achieving what you want - nor will resentment.

Regarding your original AIBU - no you are not being unreasonable to be upset. But YABU to blame your predicament on your parents.

The questions were things to consider, not demands for answers. You sound like you've become trapped in a very negative way of thinking, which of course it's easy to do when some shit things have happened. But fixating on the same things won't help. I'm around the same age as you and it's been five years since I worked in the field in which I was previously a senior manager. A relevant Master's might have been useful to get interviews five years ago, now it would be useless because five years is too long.

I've had to resurrect my career a couple of times too...so it would be good for you to think about what avenue you can afford to go down and play a longer game rather than thinking about shelling out 5 grand for a masters. It may be you could start off with an online course and build up on the job in a different career.

the masters course was only an illustration of how my parents seem to thing wholistically abut my sisters family but unhelpfully about me.

Why would you have to pay for their care? If there is money to be inherited there is money to pay for care.

You sound like you've got a massive chip on your shoulder OP.

how old are your parents? It's normal for a dead siblings share of the estate to go to their children. So you would get 50% and they would get 50% between them.

Who has told you all the estate will be going to them? Who have you discussed this with?

If no financial help has ever been given or is likely to be given in the future, then surely you just need to crack on and the take responsibility. You cannot wallow in what could have been.

Your attitude sounds way off. No one owes you a thing. Sorry.

You do sound like you're living in poverty but you also sound like you're blaming your parents for that.
You're expecting your parents to take care of you like when you were a child, but you're not a child, you're a fully grown adult who can fend for themselves, whom can get a paid job to pay their bills and afford heating etc etc.

If they treat you like a ''black sheep'' I would ask why that is. There are always two sides to a story, people don't just sideline others for no absolute reason.
I have to say your attitude to the whole not inheriting your part of the money comes across as very entitled, I do wonder if OP thinks that she some sort of ''right'' to their money because she's their daughter.
I'm afraid it doesn't work like that, sometimes people cut others out of the will for reasons such as not staying in contact.

There's a reason they're acting the way they are, and so far I can see why.

Still everyone else's fault?

iits not about 'people owing me anything' its about why it seems my parents..and otgers.. always seem to think 'give sc nothing' or 'dont give sc opportunities' or 'make sure sc is always poor so can't make the choices we say

Is everything someone else's fault?

Most of us posting on this thread have probably been through whole heap of shit. Self pitying won't get you anywhere. You have to stop thinking like that.
(And yes, i would help out my kids, but I would want to see them helping themselves too)

Your sister died ffs, her children have no mother, of course they will take absolute priority over you, an adult.

You sound massively bitter op maybe this is coming off in RL making your Parents not any to help. Everyone seems to be the problem the job centre, your parents even your co workers but you're the common denominator here.

They haven't made you poor. Why are you blaming them for your current situation?
You lead your own life!!
They don't have to give you anything, they raised you and gave you everything then and now its time to look after yourself.

You really sound like you have such a chip on your shoulder.

So life didn't work out how you planned. That doesn't mean anyone owes you anything.

Where are you living that you need 4 duvets? Even Scotland isn't that cold right now. You'd be better off with thinner layers of sheets and blankets.

A masters isn't the key to the universe. Especially when you can barely write. Dust yourself off, apply for jobs. I'm assuming you're single with no kids and therefore could do anything. I'm struggling to think I of where you could live that it's impossible to get a job. Are you getting all the benefita you should be?

No one is keeping you poor OP. It is up to you to earn your living.

Grow up.

only read 1st page op, but of course this is going to hurt, and yes I totally agree no one should expect an inheritance, for goodness sake, the ideal is to be fair and kind to everyone not least of all the human being you brought to life!

Of course this doesnt happen and OP, from rich to poor, this sort of thing is very common.

I would personally feel awful if I knew my own dc was living such hardship, when I could help them out. Id like to think even if I wasn't speaking to them for whatever reason, if I could afford too I would try and help them, even anonymously. And still leave them something in my will. Its not hard either to understand why your sisters dc are their financial priority having lost a mother.

I really feel for you op, but its clear you are simply going to have to ask them outright now, for help, or learn to live with it and be very open and honest about why you cant visit and take them out.

Just be honest with them.

Op MN is very funny on money issues like this, it might have been better to post in relationships.

Some tough love needed OP I'm afraid.

Masters will consilidate,excuse and reinforce my higher ability that the world of work has severely damaged but its also about proving my sidding mind works.

No it won't. It's not the silver bullet that will get you out of this mess. What you actually need to do is show you can hold down a job, get on with it, put in the graft even if it's not your ideal or commensurate with your abilities. The vast majority of people do not have jobs that utilise their 'higher ability'. Their jobs are about doing the work that needs to be done.

Everyone I know woth a masters gets the interviews i want.
I think you'll find they also have relevant work experience, a strong work ethic, an understanding of the job and good demonstration of how their abilities will make it a success.

If you go and do a masters now and I see your C.V. in a few years time, I'd conclude this person has a very patchy track record in employment and probably thinks she's above any entry level job she's qualified for. Not what I'm looking for, sorry.

The best advice I can give you is to delve deep and think about what's going wrong employment wise. Try your best to fix it and just knuckle down and get on with it. And your situation will get better in time.

Well you have a degree then I assume, so what sort of jobs are you applying for? Do you get interviews? What sort of feedback do you get? And what about your cv, is it good enough? Are you being unrealistic about the sort of jobs you are applying for?