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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find "busy" people irritating?

228 replies

Spacereindeer · 13/11/2016 21:24

I understand that modern life is very busy, with many parents (and those without children!) having a huge amount to juggle, but a lot of people seem to get a buzz from telling people how booked up and busy they are. People are almost embarrassed to admit that they are available when trying to organise a night out.

Is it just me who thinks this or do some people really have a social engagement every night?

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QueenMortificado · 13/11/2016 21:27

I sometimes say I'm busy 3 nights in a row because I'm busy 2 of those and then want a night off. Although I often don't mind missing out on plans anyway

It's worse when people tell you how busy they are. Ie a friend of mine ALWAYS writes in a message or email "just a quick one from me as I'm so busy". Literally don't care.

MaddyHatter · 13/11/2016 21:30

its honestly not something i can find the energy to be bothered about... unless its someone who insists you MUST get together, yet can never be arsed to book you a slot in their terribly busy schedule.. or if they DO.. invariably end up fucking you off for a better offer.

now THAT shit irritates me.. its a swift way to me making sure i'm 'busy' next time they ask.

Rollonbedtime7pm · 13/11/2016 21:30

YANBU - especially the way it gets used as an excuse to be crap and flakey! "Oh sorry I didn't reply to your text, just soo busy..."

Well I have 3 kids, one is a baby and I can manage to text you and I am hardly spending my time sat on my arse am I?! Hmm

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 13/11/2016 21:30

Totally.

I haven't been busy in years. Quite like it that way.

Greenandmighty · 13/11/2016 21:35

Yes, spacereindeer, I know exactly what you mean! People are competitively busy these days, it's almost a badge of honour to demonstrate how needed they are. It's also designed to make them appear popular and as if they can't admit to having time on their hands. Really irritating....

TowerRavenSeven · 13/11/2016 21:36

Yanbu!

gunting · 13/11/2016 21:39

Yeah it gets on my nerves too. I read some study found that people who say they are busy are more narcissistic and I think it's made me find them even more annoying.

Spacereindeer · 13/11/2016 21:40

Thank you!

Maddyhatter - I know I shouldn't let it concern me, but it seems the group of people seem to be the same ones who deem themselves too busy to socialise with some others in an antenatal group I joined. I know everyone won't always like everyone, it just feels a bit mean and a bit superior.

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overthehillandroundthemountain · 13/11/2016 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 13/11/2016 21:41

'Busy' people tend not to listen ime just talk... a lot!Hmm

overthehillandroundthemountain · 13/11/2016 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

60sname · 13/11/2016 21:42

Would you prefer they said they weren't keen to spend time together?

dudsville · 13/11/2016 21:42

I used to be busy. It was due to my oh at the time booking up all the time. I think he was anxious about not keeping up with setting friends and going to events. Since that ended I have been wonderfully un-busy.

Hawaiiisalongwayaway · 13/11/2016 21:43

Yes competitive busyness is definitely a 'thing' isn't it and very annoying at that.

nancy75 · 13/11/2016 21:43

It always makes me laugh, none of the people that tell me how busy they are even go to work, i wonder how they do t feel daft saying it in front of me and other friends that go to work and still look after the kids!

Toddlerteaplease · 13/11/2016 21:44

I have an oversharer friend on FB who always complains she's so busy. She lists every single household chore she has to do that day. Then posts again to say she's done it. Seriously, I couldn't care less that you've had a pot of coffee and done the ironing! Get a life!

overthehillandroundthemountain · 13/11/2016 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spacereindeer · 13/11/2016 21:45

60s name - no, I'm just more of a "come one come all" kind of person. I personally haven't been excluded, but I would rather others weren't either. Perhaps unrealistic.

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MarciaBlaine · 13/11/2016 21:48

I'm busy because I have a lot of work that doesn't necessarily stop at 5pm and at weekends I am exhausted and have to prioritise my family. This does't make me competitively busy but week nights are pretty much written off and weekends have to be organised in advance. I hate it but it is what it is.

notagiraffe · 13/11/2016 21:48

Christmas is so busy though. Not all glam stuff. By the time you've done one works' dinner and two class mums' drinks and the school carol concert and the show you booked way in September because you thought it would be fun to see something in the run up to Christmas (WHY?) five nights in a row, you get desperate for some quiet time, even if it's actually closer friends who are inviting.
The rest of the year has acres of free time.

J0kersSmile · 13/11/2016 21:50

I'm a busy person, I don't really care that you find me annoying though.

Sp/Lp to two dc
3 jobs, one which I'm the manager, another that requires working outside the set hours
A college course
Martial arts hobby that requires quite a bit of dedication and practice at home.

When I say I'm busy it's not to show how important I am, it's to explain how I'm just too busy to sort shit out with friends and family atm and I'm not forgetting them I just have to put my dc first in the majority of spare time I have. I'm also dating, that's really hard as I'm usually tired from being so busy to hold even a text conversation on any weekday evening.

Spacereindeer · 13/11/2016 21:50

Marcia - I get that completely - I'm more on about those who claim to have a social engagement 365 days of the year. I can't imagine possible imagine wanting that, or bragging about it if it was the case.

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Spudlet · 13/11/2016 21:51

I tend to get busy in spates. I can be totally non-busy for weeks and then I will have two or three things pop up all at once so I end up looking highly busy when actually I'm not at all! 'Tis most annoying.

FinderofNeedles · 13/11/2016 21:52

By the time you've done one works' dinner and two class mums' drinks and the school carol concert and the show you booked way in September

Stealth boast.

Spacereindeer · 13/11/2016 21:52

I'm on about the social braggers J0kers, I get that life is busy for lots of people.

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