To find "busy" people irritating?

[Spacereindeer]

I understand that modern life is very busy, with many parents (and those without children!) having a huge amount to juggle, but a lot of people seem to get a buzz from telling people how booked up and busy they are. People are almost embarrassed to admit that they are available when trying to organise a night out.

Is it just me who thinks this or do some people really have a social engagement every night?

My mum is always 'busy' which essentially means she is too busy for us and has other priorities.

The reality is that she hasn't been busy for years (SAHM, never returned to work), plenty of time to attend classes, potter around Waitrose, spends a week packing for a holiday and a week unpacking, etc.

I have had similar remarks from her as Kerala's friend and it has seriously affected our relationship.

By contrast most genuinely busy people I know just get on with it and don't spend their time complaining. They manage to squeeze plenty into their diary.
I have also sometimes seen 'busy' being used when the person really means 'stressed'

Yes, totally koala agree!

HmmmBop : Why people have to take time out of their day to slag off their friends on a public forum is beyond me.

Mumsnet wouldn't exist if people didn't do this!!!!

As for a busy modern life, has anybody been watching the programme about life in a Victorian Slum? Now that is busy. My mum had five children under 5, no washing machine, microwave, freezer or car. She was busy.

Thanks, I get that.

I just don't get why you'd overthink someone's schedule and come to a really negative conclusion with no real evidence except your own preconceived ideas and then take time out of your day to slag them off online. It's not really the same as coming on to talk about something you can't talk to your family or friends about.

It's similar to the washing hanging in your front garden meaning you've no class, being late meaning you're selfish and think you're more important than everyone else, eating in a supermarket means you're a slob and entitled, not wearing shoes in the house means you're stuck up etc but worse in that there are people on this thread explaining why they are busy and it's through no fault of their own but then people think it's great to keep piling in with the insults.

It's the worst thing about Mumsnet - frankly I wish they'd leave some of the trolls and get rid of these. It's disappointing

Yes it's annoying and I don't get why they do it, but then I'm the last person to understand as I'm competitively unbusy
It's like having free time is a bad thing.. are they worried someone will try and book their time? Worried they'll look friendless? Lazy? My life is harder than yours bollocks.

I understand what you mean - some people do seem to feel the need to answer the question "how are you?" With "oh fine, busy as always" and want everyone to know how hectic their social calendar is (but also want to arrange to meet up and will be the one to suggest it - just so long as you know how lucky you are that they are fitting you in). I think it's a sign of insecurity, needing everyone to know that they have friends and a job and are "in demand" and popular... a bit like playing hard to get too!

As others said genuinely busy people don't make a drama about how busy they are, and will just say "Let's get together for a drink after work on Tuesday" instead of mentally going through their diary telling you how much they have on and making sure you know that that that is the only time they have free for the next month

I rarely heard anyone use the word exhausted until I came on here.

I never knew exhaustion was so common, it must be all that busyness.

A friend asked me how I was the other day 'fine!' I said

'busy? ' she said

' not particularly ' I said

She was completely taken aback I think it's become the expected response

I think people say they are busy when they don't want to see you/ commit to something/ whatever - simples.

"i don't moan i'm busy, when i do its because well, i am.. i'm also a Spoonie though, with a disabled child."

Oh fuck the fuck off with that "Spoonie" shit. I have an illness which some people use that crap on and it drives me up the fucking wall. Bet you endlessly post stupid meme's on Facebook it too.

What does spoonie mean

What's a Spoonie?

Some bollocks way of explaining an illness, its offensive to those who don't feel it necessary to mention their illness 24/7 (yes I know I said in a pp but it winds me the fuck up so much!!)

Usually used by attention seeking twats on face book.

butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Oh and for the thread, I'm gloriously un busy! I work part time and am loving my Monday morning on the sofa with a blanket and two small dogs. I do have some social stuff coming up over the next few weeks (which I agreed to each time without having to check my diary)

I'm competitively unbusy

Bet I'm more unbusy than you

Lol at all this "they're not busy, I'm busy " in this thread tho!

That's a lot of anger over someone using a word that they have found useful for describing their illness and have not tried to use to describe yours.

I'm busy but I'm not busy with social engagements. It's this frigging modern day obsession with being visible and doing stuff in public that is quantifiable by others that is so annoying.

I don't work and am really happy that way, not worked for 15 years. I do sometimes feel that I have to justify what I do though and friends who work full time can be quite patronising. I have one friend in particular who can be quite cutting and it does bug me, she goes on about what a lovely life I have but she doesn't need to work, she chooses to do so so I don't get the angst.

It's this frigging modern day obsession with being visible and doing stuff in public that is quantifiable by others that is so annoying.

Yes.

Funnyoldworld, when i worked full time and had a little child i was slagged off / head tilted.
When i didnt work i was told i was 'lady of leisure '/ head tilted.
Work very part time now and help out now and again, people ( the very busy ones) on about how 'lucky' i am. I am not, at all. ( another story there)
My v busy friends, i leave them alone and do the occassional mail to keep in touch. They dont always reply, but hey ho! Its not worth the grief!
Best to let it wash over you, if poss.

YANBU. They are complete taunts.

" We must get our diaries together and pencil something in - I'm crazy busy!"

Argh!

twunts

I often use being busy as an excuse to get out of something. I am busy (horribly so) but it's easier to smile and mutter some vague thing about being swamped than tell Tracy from accounts that you'd rather eat dog food than go out doing jaegerbombs with her and her shrieking office buddies.
Hope that helps.

I rarely heard anyone use the word exhausted until I came on here.

um, quite a lot of new mothers and fathers are exhausted. The doctors I know all say that a lot of people come to the surgery for tiredness/exhaustion too!

Being exhausted seems to be associated with weakness for some people, whereas being 'busy' seems to be a badge of honour.

great series on Busyness that someone linked upthread!

depends, some people have evening classes and commitments are are genuinely "busy" as in "not available" 4 or 5 evenings a week. It's not just about having a party life. It's worst as a couple, because you swap nights so one can do something whilst the other one babysit and you multiply 2 or 3 evenings a week by 2.

Sorry if you find people having a life irritating.

seaeagle I think tiej probably meant the way the word is used on MN - you can't be a bit tired, you have to be "exhausted", you can't be put out, you have to be "devastated", you can't be miffed, you are "furious", it's not enough to be mildly embarrassed, better say you are "mortified" - only the most extreme states and emotions are valid

I am all too well acquainted with exhaustion! And being busy! Both states can and do happen when I am my own. I tire myself out