Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find "busy" people irritating?

228 replies

Spacereindeer · 13/11/2016 21:24

I understand that modern life is very busy, with many parents (and those without children!) having a huge amount to juggle, but a lot of people seem to get a buzz from telling people how booked up and busy they are. People are almost embarrassed to admit that they are available when trying to organise a night out.

Is it just me who thinks this or do some people really have a social engagement every night?

OP posts:
PurpleMinionMummy · 13/11/2016 21:54

Yanbu. I agree with gunting that those people (ime) are narcissistic. And always late ime too.....because they're time ie so much more important than yours, obviously.

overthehillandroundthemountain · 13/11/2016 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cherrysoup · 13/11/2016 21:55

Cannot be bothered with people huffing round like they have no time because they're just so damned busy. Yes, yes, I'm sure you're waaaay too busy to talk to me, I'll just let you run yourself down with your 'I'm so important and busy' bollocks until you have something of worth to say. Drives me nuts.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 13/11/2016 21:55

Cherry you're my new favourite posterGrin

Inarightpickleandchutney · 13/11/2016 21:56

king I hear you! I've been very non busy too, I'm starting a job soon and it's really going to up the busyness.... All 16 hours a week of it!
Couldn't be any less busy if I tried this week!

MaddyHatter · 13/11/2016 22:01

i don't moan i'm busy, when i do its because well, i am.. i'm also a Spoonie though, with a disabled child.

I'm quite sure my idea of 'busy' is very different from other peoples though, lol... i don't have the energy for a lot of stuff.

I see my mum twice a week minimum, i'm a carer for my DS and i also have a DD and my own house to take care of... i'd love to be 'busy' with social stuff, but i'm often Out of Spoons just on my day to day family commitments... which is why when i DO make the effort to arrange to see someone, i get very annoyed if they blow me off.

venys · 13/11/2016 22:02

Yep. Especially the ones with no kids who used to be your friends pre kids but are too busy to come and see you (because really it is too boring for them). And if you book a catch up they will cancel last minute several times in a row. I know I am beyond busy but more in a trying to look after 3 young kids kinda way - I can still make time to see people and we don't have the crises that many people seem to get so often !!

Onenerfwarfrombreakdown · 13/11/2016 22:03

God yes I have a neighbour who runs a small but quite successful wedding business, who at every opportunity bores the utter pants off anyone unfortunate enough to bump into her about how busy she is.

She has a business, family, blah blah. Guess what love? So do I, and so do many of us and we don't start Every Single Conversation with how busy we are. Yawn.

hoddtastic · 13/11/2016 22:03

i am busy now until mid January at weekend. Wish I wasn't but I am.

I've also got 'things on' maybe 3 nights of the week (from PTA meetings to gigs) The nights I am in DP will likely to be doing something. So, no, I don't have any time spare, and if I do I might be trying to hang out with him.

Not got time to shit, let alone add more stuff to the pile of stuff I have to do- If i can pop along to reading book drinks/whatever it is you're planning after the school concert I will, but go ahead and arrange without me. How is that offensive/annoying? Confused

nitsandnietzsche · 13/11/2016 22:03

Oliver Burkman's series on R4 was great on this. The episode on fetishising busyness in particular
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b07w1dpx/episodes/player

TSSDNCOP · 13/11/2016 22:05

I have the friend that is so busy she can never do the event on the nights suggested, so the entire event gets shifted to accommodate the dates she can do. Then she cancels. Sometimes even on the day. Because she's too busy.

KERALA1 · 13/11/2016 22:05

Yanbu op. It's the way it's said.

paxillin · 13/11/2016 22:07

Biggest busy bee I know hates her husband and finds her kids boring. She makes sure to dilute them by being busy busy busy. They are aware.

MadisonMontgomery · 13/11/2016 22:08

Oh God I hate it! My best friend is terrible - you ask her when she's free and it's like oh, on the 27th March 2017 at 8.30pm I have an hour?

Trills · 13/11/2016 22:10

People are almost embarrassed to admit that they are available when trying to organise a night out.

Bollocks.

Either they do have plans those nights, OR they are not interested in seeing you.

mumonashoestring · 13/11/2016 22:10

Ugh, yes - irritates the pants off me at work too, especially the peabrained twits who come all the way to your desk, interrupt what you're doing, start a conversation, only to then tell you they can't chat because they're sooo busy. I just assume they're unhinged/spectacularly poor at managing their workload so it backfires somewhat.

hodd IMO it's not at all irritating unless you're shoehorning it into every conversation whether it's relevant or not e.g. A friend says 'The kids are looking forward to the Christmas market'

Busy-bollocks: "Oh! Well I'd love to visit the Christmas market obviously but I'm soooo busy between now and Christmas..."

' Confused I wasn't talking about you...'

Cherrysoup · 13/11/2016 22:12

Cherry you're my new favourite poster Grin

Grin
Trills · 13/11/2016 22:12

Why don't you all organise and I'll send if I can come?

This at least avoids the "arranging to suit the one busy person and then they cancel". Arrange your night out around the people who care enough to commit.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/11/2016 22:13

I just say that I'm busy when I can't be bothered to do a long reply or I don't want to meet up with them. Definitely not boasting because I don't care but it's just kinder than the truth perhaps?

SausageSoda · 13/11/2016 22:13

It's like a competition in my workplace to see who is the most busy and therefore most stressed. Badge of pride if you only had 5 minutes for lunch and had to eat it at your desk whilst still working. I think it's a bit pathetic really.

paxillin · 13/11/2016 22:15

SausageSoda oh yes, the busy busy competition Grin. Almost as good as the tiredness competition.

ClementineWardrobe · 13/11/2016 22:16

Busy people are fine cos busy people can get things done. 'busy' people are highly irritating. In a work context, 'busy work' is making a meal out of having nowt significant to do. People like that grip my shit. You either can make it or you can't. Just say either way and then leave it.

hoddtastic · 13/11/2016 22:17

i didn't imply that you were shoestring.

and i do like my DH and kids.

SausageSoda · 13/11/2016 22:19

Most of the 'busy' people in my workplace aren't actually busy, just disorganised and ineffective.

YuckYuckEwwww · 13/11/2016 22:20

YANBU - especially the way it gets used as an excuse to be crap and flakey! "Oh sorry I didn't reply to your text, just soo busy…"

YES!
Fucks me off when people say they were "too busy" to do things which would have cost them all of 30 seconds, but NOT doing it inconveniences everyone else
e.g. RSVPs, NOBODY is too fucking busy to RSVP, just too inconsiderate