To find "busy" people irritating?

[Spacereindeer]

I understand that modern life is very busy, with many parents (and those without children!) having a huge amount to juggle, but a lot of people seem to get a buzz from telling people how booked up and busy they are. People are almost embarrassed to admit that they are available when trying to organise a night out.

Is it just me who thinks this or do some people really have a social engagement every night?

Today 22:28 MsUnderstandin "Busy = unorganised."

Somewhat, though more so I think it's:

Amount of declarations of busy = level of how unorganised

There are of course people who are actually busy. They are however too busy to inform people how busy they actually are.

Our friendship group laughs darkly at our retired parents busyness. Pals mum refusing to do childcare for friend when her husband was struck down out of blue with serious life threatening illness and was having emergency surgery - because the mum was too busy volunteering at her local stately home always wins.

My DM was too busy volunteering to see myself and dd during our holidays. I was a little bit miffed.

Good gravy, Kerala that's terrible.

The grandmother wasn't busy she was an arse of the highest order.

There's a girl at work whose stock answer to anything being discussed as a group is 'I haven't got TIME for !' Because she is just SO BUSY.

Last week she told us she didn't have time to go clubbing or to bake potatoes. I'm looking forward to this week's weird passive aggressive boasts.

I'm 'busy' as I have Asperger's and need increasing amounts of 'downtime' to cope with work and other commitments. I volunteer for everything I can possibly manage to help at primary school, church, community, as I'm not good at building a social network.

But I book my time in advance, and make sure I have enough rest time (apart from other people!)

I agree with this "By the time you've done one works' dinner and two class mums' drinks and the school carol concert and the show you booked way in September ". I have two work events, as I am freelance, class mums' drinks which I try so hard to go to, two church evening meetings/events, husband's work do, regular sports events, visiting three terminally ill friends who live 2-4 hours distant, three December birthdays and children's normal activities. And that fucking show I thought would be a good plan. Yes, booked in September. At this point I have about three nights free before Christmas from now. I could get a babysitter for the days when DH is out but I just can't do any more going out. It's just too much.

I don't believe I'm the only one in this place.

The busiest women I know...who are GENUINELY busy, both work in London but live up North. One works 3 days in London and 2 days from her home up North....she also runs a youth club and manages to spend some time with her 2 kids on those days she has at home.

One of the women has a child with SN and her free time is not free time..it's spent arranging appointments and taking him to his classes...he has riding and swimming...she also does a lot for her elderly neighbour.

THAT'S busy!.

When did having a family dog count as 'busyness?' I don't remember anyone mentioning their dogs when recounting their busyness before the last couple of years or so.
People chose to have dogs, they enjoyed walks with them, fed them, patted them and took to vet's as needed... now the dog is just another thing on the list of things to Be Busy About.

I remember once a friend texting me to say all his weekends were booked through Christmas and he was too busy to see me and I'd have to wait till January.
I texted back that I'd not actually requested an audience with from his holiness.

I have a work colleague who works 12 hours a week. The rest of the time she is just 'so busy' with the house and everything. Her kids are older at work and college.

If I dare tell her I've had a quiet day at home reading or whatever on my day off she rolls her eyes and asks where I find the time. Weird.

Yes, competitive busyness is bloody boring.

Like the friend who never (ever, ever) picks up the phone, and takes literally a week to reply to a text. She has 2 children, a supportive husband, a cleaner, house with every mod con, doesn't work outside the home.

I cannot get my head around her claiming to be 'too busy' to answer a text.

a) It is easily possible to be "busy" on a certain date or booked up a year ahead especially at this time of year, without actually having much stuff on all the time - all you need is about three hobbies/volunteer commitments which have regular recurring meetings and events throughout the year. I've just had the sets of 2017 meeting dates issued for two things I do that each only have 6-8 evening meetings in a year, and two of them still manage to clash next September so I am already "double booked ten months ahead" (for that one day out of 365).

2. I do find the idea that a "five minute" task can just be added into the top of a to-do list infinitely pretty annoying, on the basis that a "five minute task" almost never actually takes only five minutes including gathering the info/materials to do it (eg: it takes 3 seconds to drop a letter into a postbox but actually twenty minutes including the walk to the postbox and back, and half an hour including finding the address, a stamp etc.). Also, if I only have an hour of "unscheduled" time in a day, even four or five true "five minute" tasks use up quite a lot of it - this doesn't mean it is physically impossible to do them, but that they do have a noticeable opportunity cost which is almost never recognised.

I'm busy a lot with work, child, study etc and I moan about it - mainly because I want to find a solution.

I do quite a lot in the evenings but it's not really social stuff - Mondays and Tuesdays I have running group/ track session and Wednesdays I have yoga. I also sometimes say I'm busy because I just want a night in. I dont really like going out for drinks etc on weekday nights.

I am also slightly guilty of "busy=disorganised" thing or rather "Sophie is a massive procrastinator". I'm addressing it though....

I do think that there is the expectation these days that you need to be "busy" or people will think you're lazy, slacking off, or not pulling your weight. The old 'time is money' and if you're not engaged at all hours of the day, then you're not making money (or being productive). It's almost embarrassing to say that you're going to take the day off to laze on the sofa and watch Netflix and not get out of your pjs all day and you won't be answering your phone and being social, despite the fact that many of us can think of nothing more that we might like to do every so often. So we say we're "busy" to make excuses for not wanting to be seen as a lazy layabout watching netflix and not being the world's best mummy/daddy/employee/volunteer/human. We say we're "busy" because sometimes you would rather just stay home and watch tv than to get dressed up and go out and be sociable with people, but that excuse doesn't fly, because we're supposed to be "making memories" and filling out social media feeds with us out and about at all manner of exciting things. We're not allowed to say 'I don't want to', so we have to say we're busy instead in order to get the downtime that we crave.

YANBU. there is a woman I work with who insists on rushing about everywhere, doing about three things at once and muttering to herself about how much there is to do and how busy she is. It is absolutely not necessary; in fact it is often detrimental to our service provision as she does things and then doesn't tell us that she's done them, so tasks end up getting done twice and wasting time.

I think it depends on the context. Someone, making a go of life, working 3 jobs to provide for their family, isn't annoying however, those fucktards, that talk loudly in Starbucks about how busy they are, whilst generally just dicking about are very annoying

I'm with you OP. Especially irritating is the "busy mum" epithet.

Well I'm a mum who works for money but I still wouldn't describe myself as particularly busy. I have plenty to do, but I also make free time for myself.

And I don't even get the Christmas rush either! I work in two teams, so have two Christmas lunches but I might go out for lunch with colleagues if I am in the office anyway as I work from home most of the time. I also have a club dinner, though that's a Saturday evening. And that's it. I'll see my in-laws on 23rd, my mum is coming to us for Christmas itself. I've got a bit more going on in December but I wouldn't describe it as "busy".

Of course some people have genuinely busy lives, but I think generally busy = unorganised. If they spent less time telling everyone how busy and rushed they are, they might have more time to do things and they'd be less rushed and busy as a consequence

I think that a lot of people believe that 'busy (or appearing to be so) = important and valuable'.

Greenandmighty Yes, spacereindeer, I know exactly what you mean! People are competitively busy these days

This. What is just normal life busyness seems have become a festival of one-upmanship, because it's everyday stuff that most people do, er, every day. It's not special or extraordinary busyness.

What a bizarre thread.

How can someone being busy be interpreted in so many negative ways? Do you know what? Sometimes people just are, sometimes people take on a lot, either because they are ambitious and want to do more, or they are nice people and do a lot for others, or because they just have to because that's what life throws at them. Sometimes it's a combination.

Maybe a person is disorganised, but to turn someone else's schedule around as a way of attacking them because they don't fit with your schedule is very confusing and a little bit narcissistic to be honest.

Sometimes people are busy, get over it.

If they talk about it a lot and you don't like it, distance yourself.

Why people have to take time out of their day to slag off their friends on a public forum is beyond me.

Hmmm, not sure you're getting the point of a discussion forum.

People talk anonymously about things that they can't necessarily discuss with family/friends/coworkers etc.

Clearly a new concept to you.