To discharge myself from this horrible, torturous place?

[MaisieJ]

I am in hospital following an elective knee replacement. When I got back onto the ward the pain was pretty bad and I'd been told to buzz for painkillers so I did. auxiliary came in and said she'd let the nurse know. 30 minutes later no sign of nurse and pain is worse so I press buzzer again. Brash auxiliary came in and turned off the buzzer saying "I've already told her, constantly pressing your buzzer won't make her come any quicker!" 😲
At this point I also needed a wee but thanks to her attitude I didn't feel like I could ask her so thought I'd hold on for the nurse. 30 minutes later I'm busting to go so reluctantly pressed the buzzer. Same woman comes stomping back in 10 minutes later and snaps "is this about painkillers again?!" So I said no, I needed a bed pan. So off she strops, comes back in 10 minutes later and tries to drag me onto this horrible disgusting bedpan. Baring in mind I'd had no pain relief yet. I cried out and told her I couldn't do it so she said she'd go get help. 10 minutes later, no sign of her and I ended up pissing the bed. Mortified and I tears I tried to wipe myself best I could. Next minute she's back with another auxiliary, they fling my covers back rattling on about "getting on the bedpan" and realise my bed is soaked. The big horrible woman says loudly "you've already done it!!! Are you normally incontinent because if not, you shouldn't be incontinent in hospital either!" Basically making out that I'd done it on purpose.

Cut long story short they changed my sheets and I ended up drifting off to sleep. A while later I woke up, horrible taste in my mouth, I groggily reach for my glass of water and end up knocking it all over my bed. I called dh in tears saying my bed was wet and the auxiliaries were going to go ape at me. He insisted I press my buzzer and said he was making a complaint. I tried to clean it up myself but another patient saw and pressed her buzzer. Next minute I hear one of the auxiliaries say "she's gone and chucked water all over her bed now, well she can stay like that until I've finished with meals."

I eventually got clean sheets but I feel horrible. The auxiliaries have said stuff to the other women in the room like "when certain patients constantly demand attention it takes care away from those that genuinely need it". Now the other women in the room have started being funny with me too.
This morning I was woken up by a clattering trolley. Auxiliary said "what do you want for breakfast?". I said "I'll have a cup of coffee please" to which she rolled her eyes and snapped "im doing cereals! Not drinks! " I then heard her say to a student nurse "I swear I can't be doing with another day of her!"

What have I done???? I just want to go home whether I'm ready or not. DH is coming later so I'm considering asking him to just take me home with him. Bollocks to infection

[Funnyface1]

I had a c section nearly 9 weeks ago and discharged myself after 25 hours because it was so horrendous on the ward. The midwives who looked after me pre-op were brill but afterwards it was awful. The attitude just stank, everything was a bother and a problem. I was trying to look after a new baby and recover from incredibly painful surgery. I walked out of the hospital with only calpol to help me cope and I've never been more relieved in my life.

Someone asked me if I felt I may compromise my care by leaving early. But there was no care in there, only aggravation, so what was the point in staying?

[JPinkertonSnoopington]

I had some very rough treatment on a psychiatric ward in 1999. The first week I was on the ward I was terrified that I was going to lose everything I'd worked for. I said to the consultant, " please tell me I am not finished" . His reply was " this is the scrapheap and you are on it " – then he turned on his heel and walked away. We used to have these awful Inquisition sessions called "ward rounds." The psychiatrist sat in the middle of the room like a big fat spider in a web with me sitting opposite him and the walls lined by various people who obviously didn't want to be there, and whom I did not know from Adam. I made a remark which was bookish in nature because I am bookish – that's what I am! The psychiatrist said "THAT'S a big word" and when I protested that I was an educated woman, he said I should use my education to get off the unit. Considering that I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder four years later this was more than disgusting, it was an abysmal thing to say especially as he failed to recognise that I was going high when I saw him two years before. If I'd got the right diagnosis then, I wouldn't have lost so much of my life.

I also had a run in with a nurse , and again because of being bookish and she sniggered at something I said . I called her a fucking idiot and asked her what the hell she was laughing at as I hadn't said anything funny. She said "you've got to keep a sense of humour" . Bit unrealistic in my situation since I was so afraid of losing everything (I did lose a lot of things but not everything in the end) . My reply to that was caustic in the extreme. Over the next few weeks I stopped getting phone calls, I stopped getting visitors and it was coming up to Christmas and I'd got no Christmas cards. Finally on Christmas day , there I was in my room all alone and with nothing but a box of soap from the league of friends to cheer me . I never saw myself as a charity case but it seemed that was what I was.

Some considerable time later I found out that people were coming to see me and being turned away "she doesn't want visitors" people were phoning up including a dear friend who wanted to invite me to stay with her family at Christmas – messages never passed on . And what the fuck happened to my Christmas cards because I found out that loads of people had sent them to me . I think it was that nurse taking out her spite.

I have run this scenario past a number of friends who either are still psychiatric nurses or have been and they all said it was quite feasible because sometimes that job attracted the wrong kind of person.

I really do hope things get better for you OP and that your husband can help you stand up to these ghastly people and hopefully get them the sack. I didn't complain because as a psychiatric patient I felt sure I would not be listened to nor believed. I hope that things are better than that for you

( I put that in bold because my story turned out to be long and I didn't want my good wishes to you to get lost along the way. )

[pugsake]

Jpink I've heard a lot of inpatient horror story's.

When I was an impatient there was a very ill young man.

Didn't understand where he was or anything. One of the nurses and I use that term loosely actually smirked when he got moved too a more secure unit. Still boils my piss a year later.

Most the staff were lovely but she should not of been aloud to look after vulnerable people

Hope your getting better care and are feeling much better today op.

[ToastDemon]

One of the most hideous, deranged and unpleasant women I ever met was a psychiatric nurse. She was also a fantasist. A friend of mine went out with her, mercifully briefly.
JPinkerton that's just the kind of thing I could imagine her doing.

[pugsake]

If it's the northeast toast I've met her.

Doesn't bear thinking that there may be two of them

[yorkshapudding]

All the posters telling OP to discharge herself, are you medically qualified?
OP, I'm sorry you've received such appalling treatment and I can completely understand you wanting to leave but the risk of post operative infection is not something to be taken lightly and can lead to serious long term complications.

As a former Nurse, my advice would be to speak with the Ward Manager in the first instance. Have your DH there to support and advocate for you if you can. They need to know that patients on their ward are waiting an hour for pain relief, half an hour for a bedpan and then being spoken to in intolerable terms when they have a completely involuntary bodily function! They then need to tell you what they intend to do to rectify the situation. If you are not happy with their response you can tell them that you want to raise a formal complaint. The complaints process itself takes time but simply having this discussion with the WM should result in an immediate bollocking for the staff concerned and you may well find they quickly change their attitudes.

[Littlepleasures]

Such a worrying thread. People are naturally at their most vulnerable as hospital inpatients and most hcp I have come across have acknowledged this by being kind, caring and positive even in the most trying of situations. Sadly you will always have the few who are having a bad day or are just nasty people but it is important for the patient or their family to challenge this calmly at the time, then put it on record if it continues. My last hospital stay was like the op for a knee replacement. You are not able or allowed to move off that bed till a physiotherapist has assessed you and shown you how to move. Even then, for the first day it's only as far as the chair. You are totally dependent on the nursing staff for basic needs and their care should reflect this. I had a fairly positive experience but did feel weepy at the indignity of having to wait for help to pee. At one point I asked them to leave spare bed pans in reach as it had taken 1/2 hour for them to answer the buzzer. In my case, delays were caused by inadequate staffing levels and I never saw any instances of nastiness, however I made sure I worked hard on PT to get out of their in 48 hours. I found it slightly amusing to be handed a feedback form about my stay. I did highlight that having to wait to pee for so long needed to be addressed but didn't have much confidence that anyone would ever look at the form. I'm dreading old age as unless the health service is better staffed, in the number and quality of staff, dignified care on hospital wards, especially if dementia or just fear makes me less than an easy patient, feels like a bit of a lottery.

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

This is an incredibly depressing read :(

My sister was having a prem baby a few months ago, and when she was in hospital bleeding heavily in the days leading up to his birth, she somehow picked up a sickness bug. The whole night she lay on the bathroom floor, vomiting continuously, as she worried about her baby (who thankfully arrived safely and was ok), and missed her DH and children. The staff knew she was there but didn't once check on her.

It seems basic compassion and empathy is a declining commodity in some sectors of the NHS

[AlexaTwoAtT]

"yorkshapudding

All the posters telling OP to discharge herself, are you medically qualified? hmm"

Given that you are a member of this so-called caring professsion, your first concern should have been the appalling treatment meted out to the OP - and many others too, it seems - in NHS hospitals.
Taking a swipe at other posters who are naturally outraged is a bit laughable really.

[AlexaTwoAtT]

...were a member of...

[slenderisthenight]

All the posters telling OP to discharge herself, are you medically qualified? hmm

Anyone medically qualified would know that hospitals are the worst place to be in terms of horrible bugs that you can pick up. If the care is crap, there's no justification for being there and every reason to feel it's the most dangerous place you can be.

The only reason I'd think twice about leaving is the access to pain relief might not be as good out of hospital.

[AlexaTwoAtT]

"slenderisthenight

All the posters telling OP to discharge herself, are you medically qualified? hmm

Anyone medically qualified would know that hospitals are the worst place to be in terms of horrible bugs that you can pick up. If the care is crap, there's no justification for being there and every reason to feel it's the most dangerous place you can be.

The only reason I'd think twice about leaving is the access to pain relief might not be as good out of hospital."

Yes but by leaving, you would be free if the nasty bullying and intimidation far far too many appear to suffer. It is unbelievable and makes such sad reading.

[AlexaTwoAtT]

...free of...

[Kr1stina]

Sadly, another one who is not surprised, having had similar treatment myself on maternity wards . Both time I left after 24 hours or less, including after a CS. Fortunately I didn't have to officially discharge myself.


I hope you are getting better care now OP, and that you feel brave enough to complain .

[expatinscotland]

'The only reason I'd think twice about leaving is the access to pain relief might not be as good out of hospital.'

And considering plenty of these patients are not getting access to pain relief in hospital and spending time in conditions that can make them sicker - like sitting in their own urine or with overflowing cath bags, etc. - it's pointless to be in hospital. A staff that's so negligent in their duty of care isn't going to be on the ball about spotting infection and complications.

[FaithAscending]

OP how are things now?

[WinchesterWoman]

I've heard advice from hospital staff to the effect 'get out as soon as possible'. Informal advice of course - what they'd do themselves. It's because of the risk of MRSA and C diff and other stuff.

[WetsTheFinger]

How appalling. You pay for this service every month out of your wages for most of your life and this is what you get I haven't read the full thread, hope you have got help OP.

[septembersunshine]

Op are you Ok? I am so sorry you are going through this. Please take this higher. Terrible treatment and the staff in question should be pulled up. I would also write a complaint letter on your return home. Stay strong x

[georgethecat]

Email the chief exec.....

[DeathByMascara]

So sorry to hear of your dreadful care OP - I hope your DH has got on board and torn the ward manager a new one.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

[JuddNelsoninTheBreakfastClub]

I've just read your post OP. I'm a nurse and am mortified and appalled at this, unfortunately I've met some horrors in my time too. Haven't RTFT as can't bear to but please please please complain about this, take it as high as you can. Get well soon

[yorkshapudding]

Given that you are a member of this so-called caring professsion, your first concern should have been the appalling treatment meted out to the OP - and many others too, it seems - in NHS hospitals

Hence why I expressed my concern about her "appalling treatment" (these were my exact words) in my post. But yes, I also expressed a concern about people telling OP to discharge herself from hospital when they may not fully understand the risks of doing so. It is possible to be legitimately concerned about two things at the same time.

I did not suggest that the "outrage" expressed on this thread was unjustified. I think it was actually pretty clear from my post that I share that outrage, which is why I advised OP to complain.

[WinchesterWoman]

Jpinkerton

[SuckingEggs]

Jpink I am fucking fuming on your behalf

And for the OP and anyone else who has been vulnerable and effectively been abused. It happened to a family member of mine. I took pics, wrote down names and times and created merry hell - including helping one agency 'nurse' get sacked. The staff nurse was amazing. Fuck knows what the other woman did all night, bar drink tea (this was A&E).