To discharge myself from this horrible, torturous place?

[MaisieJ]

I am in hospital following an elective knee replacement. When I got back onto the ward the pain was pretty bad and I'd been told to buzz for painkillers so I did. auxiliary came in and said she'd let the nurse know. 30 minutes later no sign of nurse and pain is worse so I press buzzer again. Brash auxiliary came in and turned off the buzzer saying "I've already told her, constantly pressing your buzzer won't make her come any quicker!" 😲
At this point I also needed a wee but thanks to her attitude I didn't feel like I could ask her so thought I'd hold on for the nurse. 30 minutes later I'm busting to go so reluctantly pressed the buzzer. Same woman comes stomping back in 10 minutes later and snaps "is this about painkillers again?!" So I said no, I needed a bed pan. So off she strops, comes back in 10 minutes later and tries to drag me onto this horrible disgusting bedpan. Baring in mind I'd had no pain relief yet. I cried out and told her I couldn't do it so she said she'd go get help. 10 minutes later, no sign of her and I ended up pissing the bed. Mortified and I tears I tried to wipe myself best I could. Next minute she's back with another auxiliary, they fling my covers back rattling on about "getting on the bedpan" and realise my bed is soaked. The big horrible woman says loudly "you've already done it!!! Are you normally incontinent because if not, you shouldn't be incontinent in hospital either!" Basically making out that I'd done it on purpose.

Cut long story short they changed my sheets and I ended up drifting off to sleep. A while later I woke up, horrible taste in my mouth, I groggily reach for my glass of water and end up knocking it all over my bed. I called dh in tears saying my bed was wet and the auxiliaries were going to go ape at me. He insisted I press my buzzer and said he was making a complaint. I tried to clean it up myself but another patient saw and pressed her buzzer. Next minute I hear one of the auxiliaries say "she's gone and chucked water all over her bed now, well she can stay like that until I've finished with meals."

I eventually got clean sheets but I feel horrible. The auxiliaries have said stuff to the other women in the room like "when certain patients constantly demand attention it takes care away from those that genuinely need it". Now the other women in the room have started being funny with me too.
This morning I was woken up by a clattering trolley. Auxiliary said "what do you want for breakfast?". I said "I'll have a cup of coffee please" to which she rolled her eyes and snapped "im doing cereals! Not drinks! " I then heard her say to a student nurse "I swear I can't be doing with another day of her!"

What have I done???? I just want to go home whether I'm ready or not. DH is coming later so I'm considering asking him to just take me home with him. Bollocks to infection

[JPinkertonSnoopington]

Many thanks to all who showed me sympathy, and didn't think I was out of order talking about my stuff on someone else's thread. Unfortunately there is still a part of me that thinks that I deserve all the awful things that have happened to me over the years. This stems from my abusive mother, and is very hard to shake. I am no longer willing to have therapy as I have had so much, and while it has given me a better understanding it has not touched the underlying feelings of inferiority. Once again, OP I really do hope that you get some satisfaction from the hospital authorities and that those who have treated you so badly are punished.

[Justaboy]

JPinkertonSnoopington well i hope that god awful place that you were in has suffered a few cuts and since been closed down!

[Embolio]

Came back to see if you were ok OP. I've been thinking about this all day, I'm just so appalled by it. Hope you are alright

[slenderisthenight]

alexa Think you missed my point :)

[JPinkertonSnoopington]

Justaboy - nope; it is still open but nowadays I wouldn't get a bed . Only those who are actively suicidal or present a real risk to others are admitted as there is a chronic shortage of psychiatric beds. So more people are treated by the Crisis Team but sometimes they aren't any good either. Fortunately, now that I have taken early retirement and left behind what was an awful job my mental state is much better especially as I have bought a light box and it seems to be helping.

[Bluntness100]

I do feel for you, I had an auxiliary who was like this when I had my daughter, I was effectively in hospital for a month, but they let me out for a couple of days half way through, before I was rushed back in heamorageing (check spelling) , it was the closest hospital and was a maternity one. The auxiliary walked in and said " oh you're back again, you're just here for the free food" in a nasty way, which was weird as I am relatively affluent and not huge or anything. She kept doing it with the bitchy comments, about how I didn't want to look after my baby, how I was choosing to be in hospital to avoid it, that I was taking a holiday, and made me really uncomfortable, till one day she walked in and barked at me to bloody get up as she had to change the bedding and when I said I couldn't and raised my arm she said quietly " oh you're on a drip" and looked confused and left.

She stopped it the next day as she walked into my room shouting at me about " what free food do you want today" and stopped abruptly as I had a team of doctors and nurses in with me, and she said " oh the doctors are all here" . The next day she came in rather sheepishly and said " you really are very ill"

Like who the fuck would make it up.

[IScreamYouScream]

Bluntness
It makes me feel sick to know that there are people out there who behave this way. Everyone has bad days, but I've never treated anyone like this and never would - I'm not a saint, just a decent person. Multiplying out from this thread there must be hundreds of terrible human beings 'working' with vulnerable people. Is that rate representative of the whole population, higher, lower? I like to think that most people are basically decent and most of them are kind and compassionate, and it stings to think it's not as high a percentage as you would like to think...

[JPinkertonSnoopington]

I have been thinking about you, OP. I hope things are better for you and I wish you a good evening and peaceful night. And of course I hope that the two bitches have been disciplined and will not be able to hurt anyone else.

[Ptarmigandancinginthegloaming]

I'm so sorry to hear about ur stressful experiences. Sadly it doesn't surprise me, it sounds just like the hospital my mother spent time in, and my experiences when I had my DC. Mean auxiliary s allowed to make up the rules to suit them, and no nurses to be found for hours at a time. There also never seemed to be anyone in charge, so hard to 'have a work'.
Hope ur knee makes a good recovery, and becomes less painful soon

[rawsienna]

I had a wonderful, vibrant, mentally agile and dignified aunt, who lived to her late nineties, mostly independently. I can't bring myself to type out what I witnessed when she was in hospital for the last time, but just before that, when I was about 18 and she was at home, I found myself unexpectedly alone and helping her when she was ill. I helped her get changed and settled in bed twice in quick succession after she had wet herself. She was so frail and I was so worried I would hurt her or do the wrong thing and I hated seeing her vulnerable and embarrassed in front of me. When she started crying afterwards, I assumed it was the embarrassment and the illness so I comforted her the best I could. Finally, when I asked her why she was crying, she told me that only the very best few carers or nurses she had come across didn't hurt her by being too rough or tell her off when helping her (she was soo frail), and that she had never been treated with such kindness, patience and dignity. She said I would make a wonderful nurse. I could not understand why anyone would not do their best to help and not hurt someone. (I still don't to be honest) And also, that I didn't think I was strong enough to be a nurse as I couldn't care for everyone with the love they needed or I'd never get my work done! I know that she was trying to reassure and be kind to me, but that conversation has never left me.

iscream, I have tears running down my face reading that and I'm not one to cry easily.
Heartbreaking.

[rawsienna]

two young health care girls ran around all night,lots of dementia patients on the ward .Those two girls still asked how I was if I passed them on the way to the loo.they were amazing and I take my hat off to them how hard they worked that night.

But while they were running round like headless chickens three ward sisters were sat on there arses all night talking.I know because the nurses station was next to the toilet and for some reason I had to go every 30 mins.....they never once smiled,asked how I was etc.

I'm glad you've told this story.
There are some fantastic auxiliaries in hospital who go above and beyond.

[Justaboy]

If i may I'll tell you about my late first wife who was a nurse.

Quite some years ago when we were courting she was working on the general wards and finished shift at 10 PM so as there were very few people around and it was quite relaxed there i usually walked up to the ward she was on. Just near the door she was attending to an elderly and rather ill man turned out he was an old solider who was in WW1!

Anyway he had done a very good job of making a mess but whilst he was continuously apologising she skilfully changed all his bedding pyjamas pillow the works and went of to make him a nice cup of after attending his every need and did her damnedest to make him as comfortable as possible.

When she had finished she went off to get changed and i had a brief chat with the man who told me he suffered a problem he had back from a serious wound at the battle of the Somme in France. He said that they and the other men on the ward joked that she must have been Florence Nightingales daughter as she was so very good and caring at her job and caring for the patients, they all were in high praise of her.

That night i decided wanted to spend the rest of my life with her! We were married a couple of months later. The old boy managed another week of life:(

She some years later after childbirth developed Manic depression and was treated less than what she might have been in a mental hospital where sadly she took her own life.

She was a rather deep and very spiritual person. I asked her why she took up nursing she said she had a dream one night that Christ was telling her to go and care for care for sick and ill people.

And she did just that!

[HelenaDove]

Justaboy Thats a lovely post. She sounds like she was a fantastic person. Im sorry for your loss

[HelenaDove]

Several years ago DH and i were visiting his aunt in hospital. She had MS. The elderly lady in the next bed had Alzheimers and started taking her nightie off and talking as if it was wartime (WW2) Going by what she was saying she thought it was her husband come home from the war and she was disrobing for him. The two nurses who came to attend to her were lovely. and took time to redress her and made her a cup of tea.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Not surprising at all. I only hope you or your DP has the courage and tenacity to complain.

I've had terrible experiences with very nasty hospital staff from various job roles. I was terrified and extremely vulnerable. I am still dealing with the flashbacks, nightmares and sheer terror of what happened.

The sad thing is that it's not a 1 for 1 type of effect. 1 excellent nurse/ doc/ whoever can never out weigh the harm a bad one can cause. So even though there has been very good people along the way, unless they have done far far beyond simply 'a good job' (and 2 HCPs did just that which is the only reason I'm still here, thank God for them), it's like putting a sticking plaster on an amputation.

[Missyaggravation]

What an absolute twat of a woman , it's awful being in hospital and at your most vulnerable, I discharged myself after 24 hours with my third child and it was actally the ward I used to work in. It was hell, asked for my sheets to be changed lot's of times because of blood, didn't happen, curtains constantly flung back despite trying to breastfeed in private, so noisy, I felt myself descending into depression again and said I am leaving. Never been so happy to get to my housecond and eat pringles and sleep in my own bed, despite pain.

I have been a hca in a medical ward and would never have treated someone so badly. I have genuinely forgotten to do things, I'm only human but I have come across staff with horrendous attitudes.I would 100% complain.

[WiddlinDiddlin]

Definitely complain to PALS about this.

I had to make a complaint about a paramedic once who after asking me for my medication list, took it upon himself to berate me for not taking one of my meds, to the point where I was almost in tears.

Bear in mind, whilst I have multiple health issues and take a lot of pills:

• he misidentified the medication in question as a steroid - it was in fact a diuretic that id been given free reign to use as necessary (I told him this but he wouldn't back down).
  
• i had called an ambulance due to chest pains and uncontrollable gallstone pain - as advised by my GP (this happened a lot)
  
• he was sat on my bed unaccompanied, and I was in bed naked and feeling extremely vulnerable! (OH was downstairs with the dogs).
  

He could not accept that it was perfectly ok to take the bumetanide as necessary when I already take another diuretic and a medication that has a diuretic side-effect and thought it perfectly acceptable to shout at me when im in agony with chest pains and palpitations!

PALS disagreed and the west mids ambulance lot treated the complaint seriously and put him on a course and kicked him up the bum and throughout I was kept informed of what was happening and what would happen and an apology!

So please PLEASE do not feel that it will achieve nothing to make a complaint, these complaints ARE taken seriously.

[MaitlandGirl]

Sadly the worst I ever encountered was at a public hospital in the UK when my daughter was 6 days old and we were in the postnatal ward. I woke up (at shift handover) in the morning to discover she'd vomited all over me and wasn't breathing.

I'd been screaming for almost 5 mins before someone came to see what was wrong (I couldn't find any staff), then they couldn't find the keys to the drugs cabinet, the resus table wasn't fully stocked with infant equipment and they couldn't remember the number for the crash team! It took a 1st year nursing student to run next door in the SCBU for things to start happening in terms of resus. The poor girl, it was her 1st ever placement but she had more sense than any of the other staff. The final screwup was when they tried to call the wrong dad to tell him he needed to get to the hospital ASAP. Luckily I realised when they asked if Andy would be at home at this time, I couldn't work out why they were trying to call my brother when they should have been calling my husband.

I should add that the SCBU were incredible - absolutely amazing and although the outcome wasn't what we'd hoped for they treated us with great dignity and respect. You could genuinely feel the love from all the staff in every interaction they had with us, even when it was obvious she wasn't going to make it. They spent 10 days trying to find out why she'd stopped breathing and testing for everything under the sun but she'd been without oxygen for too long and we had to make the decision to let her go.

The SCBU registrar instigated an investigation into what had happened on the ward and after they'd heard my side of the story and consulted the notes etc 4 nursing staff were fired. I did make sure to get a letter of thanks to the student nurses university complimenting her on her attitude and quick thinking.

OP - I really hope you're on the road to recovery now and things got better for you on the ward.

[HorridHenrietta2]

Oh Maitland that is just horrendous, I'm so sorry you went through that.

[slenderisthenight]

That is appalling maitland. And people think we should be down on our knees giving thanks for the NHS. I'd pay for good healthcare before paying for anything else.

[slenderisthenight]

Thank you for sharing your story justaboy. Your late wife sounds like a wonderful woman.

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

slender please read it again :(

[slenderisthenight]

???

[pugsake]

Maitland lost her daughter slender.

I'm so sorry maitland

Agree though that NICU staff are completely amazing. I've had babies in two separate units both fantastic. (Durham and James cook)

Also had fantastic care in Durhams children's ward.

I think the bad care we remember more then the good. Which is a shame.