to think leaving an 11yo alone for a few hours is ok

[TalkofSummertime]

I'm no fan of Michael Gove but I think he's getting too much of a bashing- apparently he left his son in a hotel room for 6 hours one evening with takeaway, access to soft drinks at the bar etc. The porters knew he was there.

Personally I think leaving a mature secondary child alone is quite unremarkable. Let's face it, it's different from when they were three or whatever.

I was from a stable, affectionate family and was left at home for a few hours the odd time from the age of 7 (IRRC). I stayed home alone for a few days aged 14 (my parents had accidentally booked a surprise holiday for the same date as my music exam).

I think our society infantilizes older children far too much, and this is just the press making a mountain out of a molehill.

I think it is absolutely rotten. I personally wouldn't have left a child of mine in that set up, I don't think, but I don't know the B&B and maybe it was OK. We have certainly booked B&Bs in the past which would listen out to a baby monitor including a fab one in Scotland which specialised in it. It was run by a policeman and a nurse, and I judged that suitable enough for my kids...

So maybe if it was set up OK with the staff and maybe if the child knew they were being left six hours then all these claims of ""it is just fine", "if your child is independent..." might apply.

But - trust me - if anyone I am expecting is four hours late, I worry. And if I wake up and someone I am expecting home is not there, I worry more. And I am a lot older than eleven!

I still think there's something a bit off about all this. My guess is that, if Rachel Johnson was in fact the source, it comes back to the Boris vs. Gove fallout.

Surely the source must have been the hotel?

At their own home or their grandparents? Absolutely, I'd have left them at that age for 6 hours.

In a strange hotel? No bloody way.

When your teenagers start going out you worry terribly if they are late back. If it was four hours without contact, I'd be going out of my mind with worry.

No - completely wrong to leave for that length of time at that time of night in a strange place. A couple of hours at home in the daytime, maybe if the child is mature and has been given clear guideline on how old behave and when you will return. And Govey dictating to us about child rearing.....

I have an 11yo, and an exceptionally sensible one at that. I've recently started leaving her for a couple of hours or so, in the daytime, in our own home, but I always have my phone right by me in case she rings and I'm no more than 10-15 mins away if she needs me.

I wouldn't leave her for six hours, wouldn't leave her in the evening and wouldn't leave her in a hotel. And I'm astonished that anyone thinks this is ok!

Totally depends on the child.