to think leaving an 11yo alone for a few hours is ok

[TalkofSummertime]

I'm no fan of Michael Gove but I think he's getting too much of a bashing- apparently he left his son in a hotel room for 6 hours one evening with takeaway, access to soft drinks at the bar etc. The porters knew he was there.

Personally I think leaving a mature secondary child alone is quite unremarkable. Let's face it, it's different from when they were three or whatever.

I was from a stable, affectionate family and was left at home for a few hours the odd time from the age of 7 (IRRC). I stayed home alone for a few days aged 14 (my parents had accidentally booked a surprise holiday for the same date as my music exam).

I think our society infantilizes older children far too much, and this is just the press making a mountain out of a molehill.

Didn't the press get hold if it via Rachel Johnson?

Anyway depends how it all happened really. I read the kid was found wondering the corridors at 1am scared and worried. Now if that's true and he had no idea how to contact his parents and they were out of mobile reception and late back by hours and hadn't told him that's shit.

If they'd realised there was no reception and they'd said to him look if you need us get our hotel staff to ring the other hotel reception and he was trotting along to do this then that's not so bad. But not sure why he didn't ring reception from the room? Especially as he was dog sitting in the hotel room.

Actually, what about the dogs? Surely they'd need to be let out for a wee at some point? Not that I know much about dog keeping.

That poor kid must have been so worried.

The press may have got it from Dom Joly, who said he'd seen Gove dancing in a tweet.

Bus stations which most kids pass through daily are far more dangerous IMO, full of thieves and drug addicts. This is better than QI. You have obviously never had to clean a hotel room.

Most hotel rooms are full of sex crazed 'teenage' married middle aged people getting it off, during the morning/afternoon and these liaisons don't involve their partners!

I kind of agree about being late and supposedly uncontactable. But maybe the hotel couldn't get through as it would come up as an unfamiliar number? Well none of us were there, so who knows really.

Well, surely if you'd left your pre-teen child alone in a strange environment and told the hotel staff to contact you if there was a problem, you'd answer your fucking phone to an unknown number?

I remember one hotel room I went to, very posh, central European city, and on turning on the rather large telly got a full frontal, gonzo porn channel. Nice! though my mum was most disappointed not to have experienced it. She was 79 at the time and staying in another room.

Personally, I think i wouldn't do it.

Legally, it's down to the parent's judgement around the 12 year old's level of maturity.

www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

From that link above:

"The law doesn’t say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.
Use your judgement on how mature your child is before you decide to leave them alone, eg at home or in a car.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) says:

children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time
children under 16 shouldn’t be left alone overnight
babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone

So the government doesn't have a law on this and it's up to a charity to provide the guidelines."

Have we learn't nothing post Savile?

From that link above:

"The law doesn’t say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.
Use your judgement on how mature your child is before you decide to leave them alone, eg at home or in a car.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) says:

children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time
children under 16 shouldn’t be left alone overnight
babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone"

So the government doesn't have a law on this and it's up to a charity to provide the guidelines.

Have we learn't nothing post Savile?

opps sorry double post whilst on preview!

Anyway, on that advice from the government, I'd say post ten, leave them to do what you want.

Though exactly what is overnight?

but it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.

Like a bus station?

I would have said a hotel room was pretty safe. Power cuts, fires etc are all dealt with by staff as even the adults in the hotel wouldn't know where the fuse boxes are would they.
There's only beds and TV's with the risk of a kettle perhaps if an 12 year old could be bothered with a hot drink.

Terrible isn't it? I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened because ithought it was OK. Will leave ds til he's 13/14 rather than 11/12before i consider leaving him home alone for any time!

I can't get too worked up about Gove, TBH. He was hardly abandoning his dc under a bridge somewhere dangerous. Although not telling the dc that he was delayed, if this is what happened, is rude and would worry anyone.

This sort of behaviour will come back to bite Gove later on when the son stays out all night and doesn't bother to let his parents know where he is.

No way I'd leave a child of that age in a strange place on their own at night, without a phone signal so they can contact me. Even the most together 11 year old would panic if mum and dad were 4 hours late back in the middle of the night in a strange place and they were on their on.

I'd panic now if it was my dh and I'm a grown up!

Why couldn't they call and explain they were running late?

Poor kid, he must have been bored senseless spending 6 hours all by himself in a hotel room. Their being four hours late and uncontactable is really shitty parenting. 11 year olds can be panickers. Especially at night time.

Revealall - the child was apparently found wondering round the hotel on his own in the middle of the night searching for his parents. Apart from any random dangers in the hotel eg electrics, what about the other guests? Would you be happy to find your 11 year old had been wondering round a hotel full of strangers in the middle of the night?

It's crappy parenting - from the man who made a career out of criticising others for not looking after kids perfectly.

Hope his pay is docked. Doubt it though.

If the child was found in the corridor, and it's not just a bit of journalistic license, he really must have been worrying about his parents whereabouts. Poor kid.

For six hours!!!

For an hour.

I don't think he was "looking for his parents". He's at secondary school not nursery. He would be quite capable of understanding which building his parents were attending the event at.
Radio 4 did say why he was in the corridor and I can't remember what it was but he wasn't in a panic.

Well, maybe he just fancied going for a wander in the middle of the night.

Still crappy parenting.

But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that seeing Gove crucified by the Mail, which still employs his wife (I think) was quite a delight.

I have to say no, not under those circumstances. At home possibly but in a strange environment away from home, not to mention they said they would be back by 9.30pm apparently but only returned at 1.30am and were unreachable by hotel staff during that time. If you're going to leave your child alone you better be reachable by phone at the very least!

I think an 11yo could be left alone for 6 hours in some circumstances. If they were at home, and had food and all necessities, and were able to contact me if needed.

In an unfamiliar hotel room at night, when I had promised to be back 4 hours earlier? No.