To not have DD's best friend for a sleepover tonight?

[WhatamessIgotinto]

She's a lovely girl and she normally stays when she spends the day with us. I made it v clear when I messaged her mum with the invitation to bowling/cinema/dinner that I would be dropping her home on the way back.

Have hardly seen DH all week, DS also been away for two days and due back this evening so I really just want a night with just us. She really is a lovely girl but has quite significant medical needs - which I'm fine with and can deal with - so it's not a time to relax if you know what I mean. Her mum has just messaged me to say that she has forgotten her overnight bag and can I pick it up on my way past.

I feel a bit shit saying 'not tonight', but I'm tired, I want to have a couple of glasses of wine, relax and watch some shit telly. Am I being a horrible cow?

The bloody gall on some people

No, no, no! Do not feel guilty.

What a fucking manipulative chancer.

she's playing u OP.
reasonable ppl say 'sorry, my mistake, see u at 7'
ppl manipulating you guilt you with texts like hers

You are NOT her free babysitter! Don't you dare back down!

She's a cheeky bitch! Don't you dare have her to stay now.

She's taking you for a mug.

on your behalf.

"Sorry, I have plans too or I would have her to stay. See you later."

Don't feel guilty- you didn't offer to have her and then let her mum down.

Cheeky mare! Planning a night out without even checking if it was ok for her daughter to stay with you!

Don't you cave in now! You don't owe her anything!

I think she's trying it on cos she fancies a night off either going out or chilling herself.

I'd text back along the lines of 'OK thanks, normally not a problem but haven't seen DH or DS all week and I did say I'd be dropping her back this evening .. sorry hope you understand xx '

No way! You already said no sleepover. She's taking the piss. Drop the DD home.

Don't cave!

Oh that's not fair of the other mum - she didn't need to mention cancelled plans to you!

Stick to your guns.

No need to reply to her text just drop her Dd off as you've said. With a cheery "Nevermind another time!"

Newsflash! Your plans don't always go your way when you're a parent.

Don't let her guilt trip you. If you let her stay this time then you are setting a precendent for yourself.

Ok ok, take it all back, just read the updated, yeh. Benefit of doubt taken back, she is taking the piss. And guilt tripping you to boot. Fuck that!

"Oh, thought I said - can't have [] tpo stay over tonight. I'll drop her home at 8.30"

Is she a single mum ?

"Sorry you must have misunderstood. See you in xxx minutes"

That's all you need - she is trying to manipulate you and needs and deserves no explanation of why you can't offer her free childcare tonight.

You can be nearly 100% sure that sometime during the day today, she received an invitation to go out tonight and she said yes figuring she'd chance it with you. Don't let her take advantage of your good nature and your generosity. You have already given her daughter a very nice day out.

I really should stop half replying, check on dinner, top wine glass up, press submit. Then read back messages, because everything has moved on so fast and my messages look like I don't read anything.

Don't feel shit.

She's chancing it.

reasonable ppl say 'sorry, my mistake, see u at 7'

This!

Cheeky bitch!

do not cave op she's a user

Just drop off her dd and personally I would withdraw

Don't offer any explanation as to why you can't have her stay. She only try and draw it out and guilt trip you some more.

Have you been weak and too accommodating with her before??

OK how does this sound

'Will arrange sleepover soon, as I said, can't do sleepover tonight as we have plans. See you in a bit.'

That's too apologetic imo. You're not in the wrong.