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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL regifted our gift and I've seen it

286 replies

Spindlewood · 22/10/2016 10:47

Sorry it's a m in law thread . I'm married and have a goodish relationship with m in law, not great but okay . I bought her last xmas a gift from us as usual and a little gift from our 2 children for her . It was a pair of oven gloves and matching tea towels , nice not naff design . Anyway I go for dinner last night at husbands cousins , see same oven gloves and don't connect that they are what I've picked out hence why I like them and compliment cousin . She said thanks " aunty spindlewood " bought them and they came with these and then shows me the matching t towels ! I know it's only £15 worth of gift but I'm annoyed about it and want to tell her I've seen them . Long line of recently irritating things by her , which I always let go but this one for some reason has irked me more than others . I am trying to have a word with myself to forget it but finding it hard ! What would you do ?

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 22/10/2016 10:49

I'd not say anything , is it worth a potential fall out?

RhiWrites · 22/10/2016 10:50

They weren't to her taste. They have a new home with someone who likes them. Leave it be.

123Yellow123 · 22/10/2016 10:50

Be glad that the gift is being used by someone who enjoys it? Surely than being in a cupboard for the next five years? Just cause you feel it's a nice design doesn't mean your Mil agrees..

Bruce02 · 22/10/2016 10:50

I am not sure she did such a bad thing. You bought her gift she didn't like or feel she would use. She passed it on.

Personally I would let it go.

Astro55 · 22/10/2016 10:51

She's recycled a gift - it's better it's used than sat in a cupboard

If she accepted them gracefully - then she didn't want to hurt your feelings!

I'm surprised you think oven gloves and tea towels are a personal gift for MIL - is that what she asked for?

Did FIL get a broom?

goadyfuckersgetmygoat · 22/10/2016 10:51

I would be glad someone is using it rather than dumped somewhere waiting for charity shop drop off.
Do you think she should use it even if they don't like it ?
Or, should they give it back to you? Which one is worse ?

Chchchchangeabout · 22/10/2016 10:52

Agree with previous posters, doesn't seem an unreasonable thing to do.

ILookLikeMyDog · 22/10/2016 10:52

I don't see the problem. Sorry

lightcola · 22/10/2016 10:53

Maybe she thought they were so nice she bought a set for her niece.

Meadows76 · 22/10/2016 10:54

Lots of people do this. its good for the environment

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 22/10/2016 10:55

I wouldn't want teatowels and oven gloves. It wouldn't matter the design. They'd probably end up in a cupboard because it's just not the type of thing that I'd get excited over and I'd probably forget about them. I already have both, that match the kitchen. If I knew someone who'd really enjoy them, I'd pass them on too.

All that confronting her will do is cause hostility. She didn't really do anything wrong. Gifts don't come with the obligation that you keep them.

3rdrockfromthesun · 22/10/2016 10:56

I get where you are coming from with the Regifting but it annoys me when my mil buys me household gifts for birthday/Christmas as they are not for me but for the house. As my mother says you never buy a man household goods so why is it okay for a woman???

OdeToAutumn · 22/10/2016 10:56

There's absolutely nothing to gain by mentioning it to her. As others have said, she has given them to someone who is using them rather than leaving them to sit in a cupboard.

Costacoffeeplease · 22/10/2016 10:56

I've done it, and I'm sure some of my present have been passed on - shrug

Original poster
Spindlewood · 22/10/2016 10:56

They were in addition to her main gift which was perfume she had asked for , we always get her something to unwrap from the kids , mugs , picture frames , household type things that are an add on from the kids . I agree they were not the most personal of gifts .

OP posts:
pastelmacaroons · 22/10/2016 10:56
Grin

op this is why I stick to flowers, wine and choclates. You have learned your lesson have you not!

pastelmacaroons · 22/10/2016 10:57

I personally think re gifting to a member of the family OP is likely to see - is callous - and thoughtless.

sirfredfredgeorge · 22/10/2016 10:58

YABVVU you gave her a gift, she either didn't like it, or didn't need it, she gave it on to someone who did.

You don't "do" anything.

JoJoSM2 · 22/10/2016 10:58

Why are you annoyed? It's a bit of an awkward situation but if she didn't the stuff then it's better to regift rather than bin.

Spadequeen · 22/10/2016 10:58

Yabu.

cherryplumbanana · 22/10/2016 10:59

can't see the problem at all. Of course I wouldn't mention it!

I also know people who regift because they don't have any money to spare, so they are happy to give away something nice as they feel it would be wasted if they kept it.

PerspicaciaTick · 22/10/2016 10:59

Would it be better for you to find them unused in the back of a cupboard in XX years time when you help your DH clear out MiL's home after her death?

chitofftheshovel · 22/10/2016 10:59

Oh dear, sounds like my mum. She once gave her sister a voucher for a garden centre. It was out of date and was given to her by the very same sister!
I think you either need to laugh about it or ignore it. Some people are just shit with these things.

Ollycat · 22/10/2016 10:59

It is very unlikely that MIL thought "I'm going to spite spindlewood and give away her lovely gift because I want to be mean" - more likely they weren't to her taste / weren't something she needed etc etc so she regifted them to someone who would enjoy them - and obviously is.

Maybe next time find out what she might like - oven gloves whilst useful don't necessarily shout "I love you" Smile

DobbyTheFreeElf · 22/10/2016 11:01

YABU. Nothing wrong with regifting.

Personally I think its a shit gift anyway. Throw back to the 50's where woman's present was something useful for the home. How would you feel if she bought you a microwave for your birthday?