MIL regifted our gift and I've seen it

[Spindlewood]

Sorry it's a m in law thread . I'm married and have a goodish relationship with m in law, not great but okay . I bought her last xmas a gift from us as usual and a little gift from our 2 children for her . It was a pair of oven gloves and matching tea towels , nice not naff design . Anyway I go for dinner last night at husbands cousins , see same oven gloves and don't connect that they are what I've picked out hence why I like them and compliment cousin . She said thanks " aunty spindlewood " bought them and they came with these and then shows me the matching t towels ! I know it's only £15 worth of gift but I'm annoyed about it and want to tell her I've seen them . Long line of recently irritating things by her , which I always let go but this one for some reason has irked me more than others . I am trying to have a word with myself to forget it but finding it hard ! What would you do ?

Gosh you've been given a hard time on here op. No problem with regifting but you don't do it with close family members where the original giver is likely to see it. I'm sure the op tried to get something she thought the mil would like. I would mention how you'd seen that your cousin had the same teatowels as her. Make her feel awkward

I always regift a present that I might already have or isn't to my taste. Better than it being stuck in the drawer

where would you re gift it too> would yo make an effort to make sure the buyer would never see it - or are you not bothered and happily re gift it to some one close where they might see it?

I don't get this angst over regifting. If someone gives me something I dislike or don't need should I keep it forever?

I hope I always accept gifts graciously even when in my head I am thinking WTAF! Like the friend who gave me a hard backed shopping journal, with pages for wish lists, addresses of favourite shops, logs of items purchased. Or the cat shaped paper clips from my mum. I hate shopping, I buy what I need or want when I need or want it and get out. It isn't a hobby to be journaled. And I have a box of 1000 paper clips I bought 25 years ago that will see me out. Am I seriously supposed to clutter my house up with a lot of unwanted tat? That for all I know was regifted to me?

So I regift if I think someone else would like the item or I take it to a charity shop - one far away so the giver won't see it and be offended.

But seriously the right thing to do would be stop giving gifts for the sake of it. If you see something you know someone will love buy it, but otherwise take them out for a nice meal or to a show or an exhibition. Or just give them a nice card and a hug. We waste for too much money on tat so as someone 'has something to open'.

With most of my relations we only give gifts to children. Within my circle of friends we do a Secret Santa so just one present not thirteen. And we club together to get one nice thing for big birthdays. And even that can backfire. It was hard to be gracious when my 40th birthday present was a giant double dish slow cooker.

I can see why you're miffed OP! It was thoughtless of MIL to regift to a relative that you have contact with!

I personally think re-gifting is really lazy and shows you can't really be arsed to care about the recipient of the gift.

She could have easily donated it to charity.

So I regift if I think someone else would like the item or I take it to a charity shop - one far away so the giver won't see it and be offended

ah - so YOU would re gift where the buyer wont see it.

I think you missed the past tense in my post hmm

Sorry- I just thought with my relatives I wish someone had bought them tinned peaches or rice pudding rather than loccitane as it would have been used. Over 100 toiletry sets in 1 case.

I wouldn't pick a fight over this. You gave her a gift, hoping that she'd like them and they'd be useful. Well, she did find them useful, only not in the way that you'd intended. Let it go, there are much worse things to get steamed up over.

Well yes of course I'd not gift it to someone that knows the person!

So why did her MIL.

My MIL once regifted something to the original giver. It still had the tag on it 'to MIL love from MIL's friend'. Luckily her friend thought it was very funny and it boomeranged back and forth after that.

Would you ever buy your FIL oven gloves and tea towels?

It reminds me of an ex-boyfriend; his dad bought his mum an iron for Christmas!!

well perhaps your lucky relatives had lots of people to buy for them - my poor DM did not. She cherished small things.

Oh come on, OP, laugh about it. No offence was meant and it doesn't mean you can't buy her gifts in future. 99% of us regift for lots of reasons.

I'm funny about tea towels. They have to match and they would have to go with my kitchen colour scheme. So high chance your gift wouldn't have been good for me even if I was touched by the thought.

Or are you just very easily upset?

Op yanbu to buy the oven gloves and tea towels - I like useful gifts like that yabu if you say anything though.

a compact mirror for a one year old

That's just..... lazy?!! Nope, can't find the right word! . Did make me chuckle though.

I think the comments on regifting it somewhere it could be seen are a bit harsh - it doesn't sound like they were unusual, if the idea was that they were cheap and from the kids, and so probably not that distinctive. I'd also bet that most people don't notice or comment on other people's oven gloves so chances of them being recognised let alone a conversation about where they came from taking place were slim. It's not like it was a one of a kind vase or something unique. MIL probably just thought she wouldn't use them, SIL would love them.

I dont own a tea towel. If someone gave me one I wouldn't keep it.

Op if your still reading I think you need to think what type of present giver your MIL is.

My MIL present giving is a big part of her life, indeed she views going to shops to buy as her job always in reduced shops of course. She puts much thought into gifts and highly rates her own taste.

If my mil does anything gift related - then you can bet lots of thought has gone into it - the buying and the re gifting.

My friends DM however - is not up on this world and would give silly gitfts - brought with little thought in a mad world but given with all HEART and love! If she had re gifted for instance it would be due to the mad chaos in her life and done with no harm or spite...for instance she may have realised " LOrd, so and so is coming and I have no gift -" hurridly grabbed the oven gloves and said - HERE YOU Go....

Maybe she didn't need them!

Haven't we all re gifted?

I know I have many times. You get gifts that aren't to your taste so you re gift them.

I'm annoyed about it and want to tell her I've Seen them Look she didn't like your tea towels so found them a new home. Is it really a massive deal?? Is it really something to be offended by? Or get annoyed over?

what would you do? well I'd personally forget all about it and go about my daily life

ItShouldHaveBeenJessCastismas Sat 22-Oct-16 11:44:05

Same person tried to give dd a book with half the cover ripped off where she had scraped off the reduced sticker

I love shopping for presents for people and try to get something that I know they will like and will be to their taste, so if I saw they'd regifted i'd probably feel a very brief pang of disappointment that they hadn't liked whatever I'd given them and that I'd obviously misjudged, but that would be it. I wouldn't be at all bothered by the regifting itself, far better for it to go somewhere where it will be used and wanted than sit in a cupboard gathering dust.

I'd be baffled if someone bought me oven gloves and tea towels.
For me it would be right up there with bin liners and a dustpan.

YANBU Op my MIL has regifted my gifts to her too ... back to me!

I'd also assume 'nice oven gloves' was a euphemism.