MIL regifted our gift and I've seen it

[Spindlewood]

Sorry it's a m in law thread . I'm married and have a goodish relationship with m in law, not great but okay . I bought her last xmas a gift from us as usual and a little gift from our 2 children for her . It was a pair of oven gloves and matching tea towels , nice not naff design . Anyway I go for dinner last night at husbands cousins , see same oven gloves and don't connect that they are what I've picked out hence why I like them and compliment cousin . She said thanks " aunty spindlewood " bought them and they came with these and then shows me the matching t towels ! I know it's only £15 worth of gift but I'm annoyed about it and want to tell her I've seen them . Long line of recently irritating things by her , which I always let go but this one for some reason has irked me more than others . I am trying to have a word with myself to forget it but finding it hard ! What would you do ?

Yes, agree that MiL could have re-gifted elsewhere - however, this still isn't a big deal is it. I repeat that taking offence over minor little matters like this and particularly wanting to bring them out in conversation is totally unnecessary and would be an avoidable cause of later tension.

So if she wanted to re-gift it, and save some money and effort for herself at the same time, that's her choice

and mil chose to re gift to someone op has visited and seen the re gift.

Nice choice Mil

It wouldn't bother me, she clearly likes them.

Thank you again for all your comments , for all you perfect present buyers out there you will see that I realised several pages back it was a crap gift and it is not one i will repeat . Please stop telling me you would be insulted or never do it . I get the message . Case closed .

I am so glad after reading this that we now stick to basic gifts for dh family!

As for tea towls and oven gloves there are actually lovely ones out there zara do really nice styles but not at a price I would ever think of paying, I would gratefully accept any tea towls or oven gloves.

Dont worry its clear many posters have not even read your original op in which you say and a little gift from our 2 children for her . It was a pair of oven gloves and matching tea towels , nice not naff design

You got her perfume didn't you.

Lol.. I have a massive plastic container of most of my MILs gift to me that i re gift.. Its really appreciated by those that i regift them to.
I gifted PIL a set of nice fluffy DKNY towel set ( 2 big towels and 1 hand towel ) my husband warned me that the brand would go amiss with his parents, I said well its the quality of the towels rather than the brand that matters. A few weeks later saw the hand towel being used as a tea towel and the bath towels were practically gray, I think they mixed them with darks in the w.machine.

The bottom line is - many posters on here no matter what gift they have given would clearly be very happy if they saw it has been passed onto close family members

Yeah, I get the point about, she wouldn't use it so passed it onto someone who would....but it's still feels like a slap in the face, doesn't it?

She was foolish to regift something to a member of the same family. If she knows that you visit the house of your husbands cousin, I think it was rude of her.
However, in general i have no problem with regifting.

I've read the thread an putting 'un naff design' in the description doesn't make tea towels a good gift

yanbu

I got oven gloves one christmas, not my taste particularly but from a dear friend so I am pleased to keep them.

All this 're-gifting' - yuk.

Op, I don't think it's a crap gift actually. Whilst lots of people on here think it was, there are others who would like it. Not hats the problem with presents isn't it - it's not always easy to know what people will like and sometimes we get it wrong. Personally, I just accept that I will both give and receive presents that aren't really wanted.
I do re gift. Yes, I try hard not to re gift to the giver (Not good) or to within the same social circle, but I bet I have at some point, because it is easy to forget who gave what. Hey ho!

The thing this thread reminded me of, is how outraged some people get by minor slights and mistakes people make. Granted that giving the oven gloves to a relative that Op might visit wasn't the most well thought out plan.....but is it a mistake on a scale to get het up about,not dwell deeply on, to be offended by.....or worse of all, to point out, which is never going to aid relationships but only damage them. It is this attitude that I am interested in, becaus it appears time and time again on MN - people being aggrieved and over-thinking tiny little slights and making them into big things. It does help me understand why some families and social groups have such a lot of grievances going on and fall-outs - it must be inevitable if people aren't able to let the little things (and these mostly are little things - I realise sometimes there are big things which do need addressing) wash over them, rather than being quick to jump to offence.

WDigin - 'feels like a slap in the face' - really? Would it make you feel as hurt as all that? This is what I mean by people seeming to take significant offence, over what I see s very minor issues. If you can feel like you've been slapped in the face by something like this, I imagine life isn't harmonious and many things that many people do make you feel offended. Just sounds a bit exhausting to me.....better to just give people the benefit of the doubt and move on, realising when things are and aren't a big deal. I think some people must enjoy a bit of conflict!

I once lent someone my book and had it returned two years later as a birthday gift. Now that's cheeky

Maybe the MIL liked it so much she bought the same for the cousin. It wouldn't bother me if she'd regifted it anyway.
I think it's a perfectly acceptable present. No, not particularly exciting, but fine. I'm a terrible present giver and I hate Christmas shopping. I can't think of anything to buy, I don't know what people want or need, and I do not have unexhaustable funds. We only buy token gifts in my branch of the family, anyway. It's just something to open on Christmas Day. Oven gloves and tea towel is fine. My DH would buy this for me for Christmas, even.

The gift wasnt even from op but from Mils own grandchildren.

i suppose mil would be happy to see her grandchildrens gifts re gifted.

HAHa!

And were you furious and confronted the person....or did you laugh?

Very true Chocolate - you have given us all carte blanche to simply re gift where and to whom we want, with no care in the world to tact or diplomacy thank you '

I wouldnt be giving Mum a roasting for such a trivial thing... she probably thought she was being kind ... which she was. What if the glove had been on the other hand?

The MIL gave them to someone one who clearly loves them and that is probably all that went through her mind when doing it.

Oh no, wait, she is a MIL. Scrap that. She did it deliberately to spite you because she is Evil.

Personally I would shrug and forget about it but make a note that that wasn't to her taste.

Chocolate I was too surprised so I just gushed thanks

I did laugh at them behind their back though

Feel we ought to link this thread and the one asking about 'wishlists' and if they are acceptable or not, at Christmas.

I'm with those who think if you have something sitting in your cupboard that you aren't going to use, then it makes an awful lot of sense to 're-gift' it. If you are organised then you label things with who they are from and try not to give to someone the original giver will know, but not everyone is that organised.

Are they definitely the same ones?

I don't think that it's that bad a gift tbh.

I don't see why gifts can't be useful stuff.

Although if she didn't need them & therefore thought that she wouldn't use them I don't think that MIL did a terrible thing by passing them on either.