MIL regifted our gift and I've seen it

[Spindlewood]

Sorry it's a m in law thread . I'm married and have a goodish relationship with m in law, not great but okay . I bought her last xmas a gift from us as usual and a little gift from our 2 children for her . It was a pair of oven gloves and matching tea towels , nice not naff design . Anyway I go for dinner last night at husbands cousins , see same oven gloves and don't connect that they are what I've picked out hence why I like them and compliment cousin . She said thanks " aunty spindlewood " bought them and they came with these and then shows me the matching t towels ! I know it's only £15 worth of gift but I'm annoyed about it and want to tell her I've seen them . Long line of recently irritating things by her , which I always let go but this one for some reason has irked me more than others . I am trying to have a word with myself to forget it but finding it hard ! What would you do ?

Another of those brilliant MN threads that makes me smile and think of my dad. Translated from an Italian saying - 'you got on the bike, now you have to ride it!'

Also, sorry OP, but agree with the masses on this one - why are you bothered, it's a baaaad gift - even more so from grandkids, you don't actually know she regifted (she did though) - maybe she liked em so much she bought same gift. And last, probably most unwanted comment - responses to your requested input seem a little immature and knee jerky

I'd be happy that someone else is enjoying them

PS MN can be a mardy bunch. I mostly stay out of he kitchen and just peek in through the door - sometimes safer

I think it's really lovely that MIL found someone who liked and used the gift. I would go shopping / out for the day together next time so that you can spend time together and get to know what she likes.

I understand how you feel. I also understand what others are saying here, but still it can hurt anyway. I know first-hand. My newborn was re-gifted a present we'd previously given a very close relative's child and it hurt. I wanted to feel that my baby was as important to other family members as was to me and in keeping with the care and attention I spent on selecting presents for them. Now at least your MIL had the wit about her not to re-gift back to you, but if you have chosen something you like and you think they will too, if you think they've passed it off, it can open up other feelings that are there about the quality of the relationship. In contrast, I own some things that I keep because they connect me to the person who gave them to me - but just call me an old sentimental! Having said this, I agree with turning the other cheek as the others have said. There's no point in souring the relationship further. It takes two to tango and unfortunately you only have control over how you choose to respond, not what others do. The sad thing for your MIL is that no doubt you may feel slightly less invested in taking time and care over present choice in future, or of course you could ask her what she would like - then it's a win-win for all!

I think it's really hard to get someone a bought gift they really want these days. Tastes are so specific. I'm glad my mil and I just give each other a list of what we'd actuslly like to chose a gift from as dh family do gifts that aren't just token. She's lovely but we have v different tastes.
Discrete re-gifting all the way imo. I think i manage about one present every few years where I reslly get it right for someone xnd I have the pleasure of seeing them enjoy something i bought them with pleasure. But it's rare and usually with dh.

I guess if there is an insult it's to the person MIL gave your gift too, I'd think it was a bit mean not to buy/make something just for them.

I always try to opt for the quiet life, so would have to ignore the fact that I knew what had happened. My Mum is notoriously difficult to buy for, but loves crafty stuff, so one year I bought her a card making set for her November birthday. She always says she has no room for anything else and doesn't have much money spare, so I thought I would be killing several birds in one hit. Come Christmas that year, I am being shown amazing handmade cards that my cousins' wife has "managed to make even though she has the 5 little ones". Yep, the very design of the cards in the set I gave my Mum. Wouldn't have minded the re-gifting at all, but considering that cousin and his wife have nothing to do with me I thought expecting me to admire them was a bit much! Families! 😂

Yabu

MN flames anyone who thinks gift lists are a good idea. But also flames anyone who regifts/ moans about a gift they are given but don't like/ need.

What are we supposed to do with all these gifts we didn't ask for and don't want - remember to get them out from under the bed when the gift giver visits, or make use of them by giving to another person (like your aunt) who does really want/like them. Or even give to charity so a worthy clause can benefit?

Or next year ask people what they want....

I wouldn't be pleased. Once my Mum handed me a scarf to put in a charity bag saying " someone gave me this once and I've never liked it". I had saved up my pocket money and given it to her when I was a young teenager. Decades later and it still comes back to me when I read a thread like this!

I only use bamboo teatowels and would probably regift or give to charity too, sorry. My MIL once gave me something I'd given her about five years before. I remembered because I'd given my Mum the same. Yes I was offended. Don't think either of you is in the right, lose/lose situation. Maybe be upset but just move on.

They were hers to give away! Next time get her a gift voucher.

*astro55
That's what I thought....!