MIL regifted our gift and I've seen it

[Spindlewood]

Sorry it's a m in law thread . I'm married and have a goodish relationship with m in law, not great but okay . I bought her last xmas a gift from us as usual and a little gift from our 2 children for her . It was a pair of oven gloves and matching tea towels , nice not naff design . Anyway I go for dinner last night at husbands cousins , see same oven gloves and don't connect that they are what I've picked out hence why I like them and compliment cousin . She said thanks " aunty spindlewood " bought them and they came with these and then shows me the matching t towels ! I know it's only £15 worth of gift but I'm annoyed about it and want to tell her I've seen them . Long line of recently irritating things by her , which I always let go but this one for some reason has irked me more than others . I am trying to have a word with myself to forget it but finding it hard ! What would you do ?

Okay thanks for perspectives , it's helped . Thing the moral for me is to leave dh to buy his own mothers gifts from now on then I won't give a shit .

I re-gift things all the time. I try and be clever about it but I'm sure I've messed up on some occasions. DD has also been re-gifted back something she gave to her friend. Her mum is lovely but ever so disorganised. I had a little giggle to myself about it.

I agree with others, better it gets used and someone else enjoys it than it sits in a drawer for years before being passed on to a charity shop. Why put a spanner in the works? Really, don't sweat the small stuff.

Well, I can understand how you feel because it almost feels like a criticism of your taste, doesn't it? However, I don't think you should say anything. If she didn't turn up her nose when you handed them over, she was being polite and you need to do the same. I think I'd let your H do all her present choosing and buying in future. My H and I always deal with our own sides of the family when it comes to present buying, though I'll give him my opinion and suggestions if he asks.

My MIL regifted to me a present I'd given her the year before! Luckily I liked it but I was embarassed when I opened it x

spindlewood I think maybe the moral is that you should give a shit and maybe find something she would like. She has been gracious in accepting the gift - regifting is fine. You can't blame her for not liking it

Why would you buy oven gloves and a teatowel set? Is it 1952? Bloody hell.

Have you ever re-gifted? If not then you can be indignant but if you have ever passed on your unwanted stuff then you cant. Even a Childs birthday gift for another party etc.

But household add ins from the kids are neither what kids would choose nor personal . What's the point? Not sure how old the kids are but get them to do a personal card with a photo or something .

Did you think she would attach sentimental value to the oven gloves?

Laugh about it and be glad the cousins appreciate them.

Yes who hasn't got oven gloves to match their kitchen already? And T towels too. I wouldn't say anything op, everyone gifts on what they don't need or like. Everyone has different tastes.

Thinking about it, I have also bought same toys that we had been given for other kids. I thought they were a great birthday present when we got them, so bought the same for the others. It never occurred to me before, but the person who originally bought them might have thought we were re-gifting when we were guests at the same party Oh well...

Yup take pleasure that they have a new happy home :-)

I can see why you are miffed about it, but it's not worth an argument. They obviously weren't to her taste, and she decided to pass them on rather than shove them in a cupboard for years. I'd let it go.

Why should OP be the one to be giving the shits and finding something MIL would like olly? Has she said anything to suggest MILs own son cant take responsibility for sorting her gifts?

You seem very over invested in your MIL using some tea towels you have bought, what was she meant to do with them if she didn't need them or they weren't to her taste?

It would have been rude to not accept them from you or the kids graciously. Don't think she has done anything wrong.

Also, I have to laugh at anyone going for dinner and complimenting people on their oven gloves . OP, spend the whole day today not giving a shit about anything and have some fun .

I am teasing, not meaning to be mean. It sounds as if you work hard style famy stuff: yeah, leave it to DH!

I don't think I would be over the moon about tea towels and oven gloves but I would be polite and also move it on.
I can't see what she has done wrong.

What would I do? Thing of something more personalized that she would like for a present next time and if you can't think of anything ask for ideas?

I think regifting is bloody rude, but you would be making her feel very awkward to mention it.

One person's nice is another person's naff. This is is one those things people would do without feeling bad, but when someone they already have issues with does it suddenly it's an awful thing to do.

I'd be grateful they didn't end up in the bin and deal with whatever root issues you have with MIL instead of bringing this up.

I don't see how regifting is rude if you are given something you don't like or don't need.
I know I have had gifts that weren't originally meant for me. I seriously don't care - it's nice to get a gift.
Minor worry. The sky won't fall in over this.

Nobody wants oven gloves anf tea towels as presents really though do they, let's face it they are not good presents

The reason I'm uncomfortable with re-gifting is because it implies the 'gifter' has put some thought into the present, when really they just got rid of something they didn't like. The 'giftee' (hate these phrases!) will assume that the present has been carefully chosen with them in mind. I'm all for recycling, rather than things just going to waste, but why not just pass them on to someone else as a freebie, rather than under the guise of a 'gift'? Dunno, maybe I'm reading it wrong. In any case, I'd certainly not mention it! That's seven shades of 'akward'!

It would annoy me too, but the gift is being appreciated and not stuck in a drawer. I do think it rude of her though and she should have asked you if it was OK as you were sure to find out. I too would not buy a present for her but just give gift vouchers.

hyacinth jeez ott or what! Obviously all members of the family can buy gifts and are equally capable! The OP obv has issues with her mil and was saying because of oven glove gate she no longer would give a shit about it. Surely building bridges is better then not giving a shit - but hey ho obv not lets get on our high horse and go to war over it! The undertone to your post is its not up to women to buy gifts - agree totally but say the same to the OP whose teaching her daughters that the only appropriate gift for their grandmother is some oven gloves and tgat she should jolly well appreciate tgem! Pot Kettle Black don't you think??

Seriously chill out!!

Indeed your husband should be giving a shit. Wifework, innit, buying and sorting gifts. Shove it back to him. Not your monkey.

2014. I wouldn't mind, you see the state of my tea towels! As for oven gloves, I use my sleeve!