Post arrived this morning, including an envelope with what looked like a card addressed to DH. (He has no problem with me opening & sorting through the post, I have no problem with him opening my stuff either, no secrets).
It's a very posh A5 metallic save the date, fridge magnet from soon to be SIL who is having a swanky stylish very chi wedding in London next year.
AIBU to feel a bit miffed that she didn't address it to both of us, and only her brother.
It's probably an oversight, she is 11 years younger than him, but I do feel a bit hurt because his siblings have a habit of making plans for family get togethers and not including me, because we have 5 children and it's not always easy for me to get a sitter & go.
It comes after a phone call from his brother, trying to organise our Christmas and put pressure on us to go to his house over an hours drive away on Christmas Day. DH has 3 siblings, only 1 of whom has a (14 year old) child from an ex. In making all these Christmas plans they have just expected DH to go along with what they are doing and DH is happy too and thinks I am weird for thinking it's selfish and thoughtless for his siblings & their partners to impose a schedule on us.
So the timing/wording of the card rubs salt into the wound.
AIBU to feel hurt by it only being addressed to her brother? Should I drop a hint to MIL who would not be impressed at the thoughtlessness.
AIBU?
SIL sent save date card only addressed to DH
waybulooisbabycrack · 12/10/2016 14:16
The children are not invited. Apparently the groom's father did the invites from a spreadsheet at work but ours was handwritten and arrived after DH told his brother that he hadn't seen the 'cool' Save the Date cards. 
Meantime the MIL has emailed me that SIL is very keen to have a family Christmas and they are renting a barn and can we go and stay with them. She doesn't want to put pressure on me though
YOU are allowing yourself to be treated like dirt. I think you need to step up here and say enough
Fuck sils desire to have a family xmas 
" thanks Mil thats so kind and lovely sil wants a family xmas but this year we have decided to spend it at home. By the way - did you see our children are not invited to sils wedding and therefore I wont be able to go - shame. "
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Maybe I do. DH sometimes makes me think I am being unreasonable & overtly angry.
To him Christmas is seeing the rellies (fair enough), it is to me too, but when I was young, we were always hosts.
He just doesn't realise what a faff and how unrestful Wales is for me (or at least he does a bit now) but he is very narked at the children not being invited.
It's a really sore topic, I posted earlier this year under a different name because he went off to Hong Kong for a week for his brother's wedding which we couldn't afford, leaving me with the kids and only the prospect of a wet week in Wales.
Then he sent cheeky videos telling me what a good time they were all having and how I needed to keep the house in a state so that should new SIL's family visit on spec we won't be embarrassed.
So it's no wonder I feel left out. I didn't as he said, choose not to go, it just wasn't feasible.
Now Hong Kong SIL is back over here for Xmas, all the siblings are making plans driven by her and other SIL, and PS your kids can't come to my wedding.
Sorry. It helps to vent. 
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