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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to park in a parent and child space?

271 replies

x1982x · 08/10/2016 22:57

I have just read a story that tesco is going to start charging people who use parent and child/disabled spaces when they shouldn't.

I agree that these spaces should be kept for those who need them but once a week I am guilty of parking in a parent and child space (there are always a lot of them free) with my 82 year old relative.

The two reasons I do this are - Once when in a normal space due to there not being enough room my relative suffered a bad cut on her shin from banging it whilst trying to close the door.

The second being these spaces are always near to the door and less walking distance in an area that is dangerous for people with poor sight/hearing.

AIBU to do this?

OP posts:
WussyWat · 08/10/2016 22:59

From someone with kids, i'd gladly give up my space for you. YANBU, but you will get people telling you that technically you are Hmm

honkinghaddock · 08/10/2016 23:09

Yanbu but yes you will have a few on here telling you that you are. I have a profoundly disabled older child and I've been told I'm unreasonable to use them because he is not under 3 or 5 or whatever the magic age is.

MrsPigling · 08/10/2016 23:14

1982x I don' think you're being unreasonable either, but I'm not in charge of Tesco car parks!

honking does your child not qualify for a blue badge? (I know very little about the scheme, so please forgive my ignorance!)

In an ideal world, all spaces would be wide enough to open the doors properly

Linpinfinwin · 08/10/2016 23:15

I may be wrong but I think your relative can apply for a blue badge even as a passenger. That would give you a better solution for your relative and free up P&C spaces for those they're aimed at.

Itsallgoodimtold · 08/10/2016 23:15

My mum is not disabled, just getting less mobile as the years go on, and has to open the car door wide open in order to get out comfortably. I tend to find a space that has a vacant space on her side but this isn't always possible so YANBU

Eminado · 08/10/2016 23:16

In an ideal world, all spaces would be wide enough to open the doors properly

Exactly!

WorraLiberty · 08/10/2016 23:19

The two reasons I do this are - Once when in a normal space due to there not being enough room my relative suffered a bad cut on her shin from banging it whilst trying to close the door. - You should have chosen a different space then, or reversed back slightly to give her more room.

The second being these spaces are always near to the door and less walking distance in an area that is dangerous for people with poor sight/hearing. - Not relevant with you to guide her.

LovelyBranches · 08/10/2016 23:21

I have a 2 year old with a disability. His disability is deemed not serious enough for a blue badge but he will shortly be going through numerous operations which will see him in multiple plaster casts. He is still not eligible for a temporary disability badge because of his age. He won't be able to walk and I will have to open the doors as wide as possible to help him out of the car without hurting him. I am dreading going to places without parent and child parking of if these spaces are all taken by people who don't want to park in normal spaces but can. Sometimes these spaces are absolutely necessary for parents because children, particularly ones as young as mine seem to be ignored or not deemed disabled enough.

Gileswithachainsaw · 08/10/2016 23:23

I do this. I never use the pic as my kids are old enough to not need them but once a fortnight fir an hour I take an elderly partially sighted limited mobility person shopping and I use them. So I can get the old dear out the car...

honkinghaddock · 08/10/2016 23:25

Not automatically because his disabilities are mostly learning disabilities although they impact massively on his mobility. He does actually have discretionary one at the moment but when I have had that 'discussion' in the past, he didn't.

SofiaAmes · 08/10/2016 23:25

Everytime there is one of these conversations, it makes me grateful that I am living in Los Angeles. There are blue badge parking spaces everywhere and in large amounts. In addition, the blue badge lets you park without restrictions in other types of restricted spaces (like neighborhood permit parking or time limited parking). I do also get the sense that it's easier to get a blue badge here too. My parents (87 and 81) both have blue badges because of health issues that prevent them walking long distances and my ds also has a blue badge because of a genetic disease that makes any "athletic" exertion difficult. My father is no longer driving, so the blue badge (which he got before my mum got one) is used by my mum for him as a passenger and my ds is only 15, so his is for him as a passenger with me driving. (I am not allowed to use it for parking if it's not in conjunction with transporting ds. Eg If I am picking him up from school, I park in a blue badge space, but if I am visiting the school just to do a meeting, then I don't.) From what I read, this all is much easier here in the USA than in the UK and particularly so in California. It's rare that I go someplace with ds and am not able to find parking nearby. This means that even though DS is disabled, he can still lead a fairly normal life which he would not be able to do in the UK. I think things have improved in the UK (and the rest of Europe) over the last decade, but more improvements need to happen.

chattygranny · 08/10/2016 23:27

Definitely apply for a blue badge. My late mother had one which we applied for and kept in my car. It had her photo on the reverse anyway but I wouldn't have dreamt of abusing it. The only thing was when the GP signed the first form off it came back requiring "greater explanation of reason needed" GP was cross, he'd written 92 as the reason but had to waste time writing 92 AND diabetic, arthritis etc so make sure you give enough detail.

FeralBeryl · 08/10/2016 23:27

Could you not drop relative at the door and go and park? Then do sane on way out?

eightbluebirds · 08/10/2016 23:28

I went to tesco this evening (about 8pm) there are about 10 P&C spaces and to my left where just people without kids sitting in their cars waiting for their passengers. To my right a car full of teens and then an impossibly small sports car. Not a child of in sight. So I don't think Tesco are BU at all. It's nice to see a supermarket actually policing their policies!

However, if I saw you I wouldn't judge, YANBU, but could be in a position to face a fine so it seems.

AuditAngel · 08/10/2016 23:28

I no longer use the parent and child spaces, my youngest will be 6 next week, if the space is tight, I make them wait and I hold the door. I was surprised to read that parent and child spaces in Tesco are for children up to age 12. Really?

allegretto · 08/10/2016 23:30

I don't think they'll be able enforce this and it would be bad publicity for them to do so in your case anyway.

Dontneedausername · 08/10/2016 23:35

YANBU, but does your Tesco have a drop off and pick up up? Ours does, and there are benches there too. I'm assuming it's so people with less able passengers can drop them off safely and go park somewhere?

Original poster
x1982x · 08/10/2016 23:52

Thanks for everyone's opinions.

There is a drop off/pick up - I think she would find it distressing being left if even for a short time.

I will look into getting a badge, I didn't realise elderly people can qualify even if not registered with a disability.

OP posts:
Duck90 · 08/10/2016 23:58

I think suggesting a person who has sight/hearing difficulties is left at the door when spaces are available is very uncaring.

Keeping the vulnerable active and thriving in the community is very important.

worra children also have someone to guide them to the store, and alsways arrive with at a supermarket with a "responsible" adult . Though from reading mn you wound think they don't.

MrsMcMoo · 08/10/2016 23:59

Yanbu.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 09/10/2016 00:01

I didn't realise elderly people can qualify even if not registered with a disability
I work with mainly older people and a huge % don't have Blue Badges. Being elderly isn't a reason for the BB.
I recently filled in my DMums form (it is extensive) she isn't registered disabled but she does have a lot of health issues that affect her mobility and the safety of her being out.

forcedgeneric · 09/10/2016 00:02

In your situation, YANBU. However, general misuse of parent and child spaces irritates me - I have twins and genuinely need the extra space to get two car seats out. In any situation though, disability definitely outweighs convenience for parents (and this not dependent on blue badge or not)

WorraLiberty · 09/10/2016 00:03

worra children also have someone to guide them to the store, and alsways arrive with at a supermarket with a "responsible" adult . Though from reading mn you wound think they don't.

Yes but the general 'reason' for needing a P&C space is because they need to lean in and unstrap them from their car seats.

Not because they need less walking distance to the door.

FrancisCrawford · 09/10/2016 00:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crashdoll · 09/10/2016 00:06

FYI "Registered disabled" doesn't really exist anymore. While some councils do still hold registers for statistics and demographics, there isn't a need. You are legally disabled if you meet the criteria under the Equality Act.

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