Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to park in a parent and child space?

271 replies

x1982x · 08/10/2016 22:57

I have just read a story that tesco is going to start charging people who use parent and child/disabled spaces when they shouldn't.

I agree that these spaces should be kept for those who need them but once a week I am guilty of parking in a parent and child space (there are always a lot of them free) with my 82 year old relative.

The two reasons I do this are - Once when in a normal space due to there not being enough room my relative suffered a bad cut on her shin from banging it whilst trying to close the door.

The second being these spaces are always near to the door and less walking distance in an area that is dangerous for people with poor sight/hearing.

AIBU to do this?

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/10/2016 10:07

If you apply through our council they send you to the occupational therapist for assessment. My dad was rejected on both because he got from the car to the assessment room without 'looking' in pain

Ah yes,the carparks that are too far away from the assessment centre door. Bastards.

My assessment was over an hour long, I had to go home and go to bed as my assessor had me going up and down stairs - well,she tried to I refused in the end as it hurt too much. It is not easy getting a BB.

Ausernotanumber · 09/10/2016 10:09

I hope to all the gods in creation I am never as entitled as some of the parents on this thread.

Mother to many. Never used a p&c space except with an older child who was in a cast. must be some kind of hero. Or not.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/10/2016 10:10

I'm tempted to start a thread with the title 'AIBU to think parents 15 years ago were a lot more capable?' Wink

Ausernotanumber · 09/10/2016 10:11

Dame. I think you should. 😜

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/10/2016 10:13

Go for it Grin

But add "when shopping"

Cos all difficulties miraculously disappear when it's somewhere fun that doesn't have any parents parking and shock horror they have to walk a hell of alot further round a theme bark than they do tesco car park..

Moonpuddle · 09/10/2016 10:14

Not read all the thread.

Your relative can get out just before you park in a normal space and wait near the space or at the store entrance, for you to park in the way that a small child couldn't be expected to.

My Mum needs extra space so I stop half pulled into a spot, help her out then finish parking the car. It takes two secs.

If your relative needs a BB then she should get one.

windowsneedaclean · 09/10/2016 10:14

Really don't understand why people are criticised for using a facility that is there! If there's one available I'll use it, if not then I won't - simple! Was just explaining WHY it is easier to use one than not.

Ausernotanumber · 09/10/2016 10:16

Oh yeah. It's only when grocery shopping. Take them to a park or the swimming pool,and it's not an issue. Just doing groceries. My local swimming pool has no parent and child spaces at all.

windowsneedaclean · 09/10/2016 10:17

Sorry to detract from OP - no you are NBU to use one in these circumstances

Laiste · 09/10/2016 10:18

Usual twats comparing P&C spaces to BB spaces. There is no need to pitch one against the other and mentioning them in the same breath rightfully just gets everyone's backs up.

Also as usual we have a few with this miserable, begrudging ''i managed in my day why on earth would a parent need a bigger space'' attitude? Times change, and the general idea is that we move on and make changes and improvements for the benefit of ALL.

Sirzy · 09/10/2016 10:19

I use them with my nearly 7 year old. He is disabled but not entitled to a blue badge.

If one is free I use it, if makes life a bit easier. If there aren't any we struggle on and we manage.

One thing for sure though getting him in and out of the car as a small baby was sooo much easier than getting him in and out now!

MadAsABagOfCats · 09/10/2016 10:19

I was surprised to read that parent and child spaces in Tesco are for children up to age 12.
Our local Tesco has a p&c sign saying spaces are reserved for children 5 years old and under.

Eminybob · 09/10/2016 10:19

Ha that's a good point Giles I don't think I've ever seen p&c spaces at a soft play place but they are teeming with toddlers! Were they all airlifted out of the sunroof??

Mermaid36 · 09/10/2016 10:21

Auser - my twins are still under 10lbs (at 6mths old), trying to hold a wiggly baby and carry the oxygen cylinder and tubing and put them in a pram in the middle of a car park! Much easier and quicker to lift them up in the car seat, lift up the oxygen and put the seat on the pram base.

atomicpanda · 09/10/2016 10:22

'Times change, and the general idea is that we move on and make changes and improvements for the benefit of ALL'

Someone ought to tell my local council that.

Original poster
x1982x · 09/10/2016 10:22

Absolutely amazing the number of people on this thread who think that a partially sighted, frail elderly person should get out of the car and wait alone

I have spoken to the manager of my local store this morning, and have been assured there is no problem at all with me using a parent and child space at the store once a week.

The scheme is being implemented in England more than Scotland. The majority of stores in England do not own the car park to the store. Many stores in Scotland do.

Fines will be issued to cars that don't have a child seat/booster seat in them.

OP posts:
Laiste · 09/10/2016 10:23

Oh god it's soooooo funny! My sides are splitting! Lets think of lots and lots of other places where parents get by without a wider space.

Hmm
Gileswithachainsaw · 09/10/2016 10:23

Let's face it the real that's are the ones who park pretty much diagonally next to you or so close to the drivers side even a bean pole would struggle to get out.

Of people didn't do that then it would be easier all round.

WeatherwaxOrOgg · 09/10/2016 10:24

Coffee - I'm appalled that you can't get a badge for your son severely affected with ASD. I feel really sad to think of you driving off with him and your little baby because a woman whose mother (in her words) is a "stubborn mare" has taken your place :( That's awful.

However, I see the need for some elderly people to have special places and maybe someone should petition the stores for a couple at each store.

I wonder if there's a petition anywhere to get the grounds for the blue badges overhauled. I know of people who have them and generally don't need them and families like Coffeemate, where if they looked at the family as a whole, would stand a much better chance of being granted one.

Laiste · 09/10/2016 10:25

My last post is not to the OP. I used to have the same problem as you with my elderly mum. She did finally get granted a BB.

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 09/10/2016 10:25

YABU. Your relative may be elderly but she is not a child accompanied by a mother.

Ausernotanumber · 09/10/2016 10:26

Why should I have to leave my disabled but not entitled to a blue badge child but sn adult standing scared at the end of a car park while I go and park? Rather than park in a P&C space and accompany them? Or my terminally ill mother who was at risk of shitting herself and couldn't walk without a trolley to hold on to - who also wasn't entitled to a blue badge? By the time it came she was dead just over a week.

I need that space every bit as much if not more than someone with a baby in a car seat. (Oxygen tanks being a special circumsantace obv mermaid).

Meadows76 · 09/10/2016 10:31

Fines will be issued to cars that don't have a child seat/booster seat in them.. How will that work when a huge majority on under ones stay in their car seat?

Laiste · 09/10/2016 10:31

Ausernotanumber in your situation i'm sure the majority of people would have no issue with you using a P&C space. YOUR issue should be with those who decide who gets a blue badge. Why get shitty and holier than thou about parents using P&C spaces?

WeatherwaxOrOgg · 09/10/2016 11:01

I don't really see why people are so mean to parents who use the facilities intended for them just because years ago we didn't have them. There was also a time when disabled spaces weren't available either just as 10 year old used to spend all day cleaning chimneys - should we all go back to these times just because we used to manage?

People manage in places, such as soft play areas where there aren't P&C spaces because they have to just like the old days. However, it often is a lot easier in a place like that because most parkers are parents and are pretty aware of small children standing around.

I know that being disabled isn't the same as simply having a child (although many parents struggle with a disabled child) but the difficulties can be similar, whether it's an actual 3 year old in a buggy or an older person with the mind of a 3 year old in a buggy (not for day to day life obviously - but I'm referring to safety concerns in a busy car park). When you have more than one child you can't magic them out at the same time so inevitably, one is in an unattended trolley while you get the other out and in the absence of wide spaces the parent has to park this trolley in the through road. It could be potentially dangerous and in places where there are no such spaces, yes the parents concerned have to take that risk. It doesn't make it "hilarious" nor does it mean the children were airlifted out.

As I said before, my youngest is 8 and I don't use the spaces so I'm not defending my own position at all, but I do think that many elderly relatives that can walk around the store can also get out of the car and wait for the younger person with them to park, leaving the spaces free for parents who do need them.

I see that some elderly people do definitely need extra consideration and I would welcome a scheme for them with 2 or 3 dedicated spaces.

Incidentally, Morrisons had a parking attendant telling people they'd be fined a couple of weeks ago. I saw a grandmother nimbly rush out and rush in and when challenged she claimed to be buying something "for my grandson" and carried on by adding that she was slow and struggled when she clearly did not. Just saying because Tesco aren't the only ones.