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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to park in a parent and child space?

271 replies

x1982x · 08/10/2016 22:57

I have just read a story that tesco is going to start charging people who use parent and child/disabled spaces when they shouldn't.

I agree that these spaces should be kept for those who need them but once a week I am guilty of parking in a parent and child space (there are always a lot of them free) with my 82 year old relative.

The two reasons I do this are - Once when in a normal space due to there not being enough room my relative suffered a bad cut on her shin from banging it whilst trying to close the door.

The second being these spaces are always near to the door and less walking distance in an area that is dangerous for people with poor sight/hearing.

AIBU to do this?

OP posts:
malvinandhobbes · 09/10/2016 08:52

I don't think you are unreasonable. As a parent of a newborn, I don't always completely express my thoughts.

heateallthebuns · 09/10/2016 08:54

Yes you are being unreasonable. Those are similar reasons to mother and baby spaces and valid reasons for parking in a disabled space. Get a disabled badge, that's what they're for.

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/10/2016 08:54

Just a note though, people so realise that all the kids attractions, the farms, pools, soft play, theme parks etc

There are no p&c spaces. People flock their in their hundreds seemingly without issue.

Why does shopping render people incapable all of a sudden...

Andrewofgg · 09/10/2016 08:56

In an ideal world, all spaces would be wide enough to open the doors properly

But it's not an ideal world and wider spaces = fewer spaces.

My local Tesco is open from 6 a.m. Monday to 11 p.m. Saturday without a break (and then of course six hours on Sunday). My DS and I have occasionally gone there in his car in the late evening and he parks in the P & C - he says that at 9/10 p.m. young children should not be out anyway. I think he is being logical but not reasonable. Anyone else got a view?

campervan07 · 09/10/2016 08:56

It's quite shocking reading this hows hard it is for people to get a blue badge. I always assumed that elderly people with mobility issues would get them easily.

Also sorry for my ignorance but there are a few people saying people with learning difficulties should get blue badge and hence be allowed to use the disabled parking spots by the front doors. Please could I ask how these spots benefit you? I am really not trying to be inflammatory or cause offence but I have limited experience of learning difficulties and don't understand the challenges or why being closer with more space helps ? Genuine question trying to understand others challenges better.

campervan07 · 09/10/2016 09:00

Oh and I would have no issue with you and your relative being in the space. I see them as a nice perk but would happily give it up to people with more need.

LetitiaCropleysCookbook · 09/10/2016 09:01

I've been the super market late at night, all spaces taken and not a baby in sight at the shop.

I think that's because people would assume that late at night the p&c spaces are not going to be in such demand. And I think they're right! Common sense should prevail. If you're there at 9.30pm and there are a dozen spaces available, you're not likely to be doing someone out of a space they need.

SaggyNaggy · 09/10/2016 09:02

If people without kids park the p&c spaces, where do the parents park? In a normal space. They then have little room.

How would you feel if a parent had to park next to you in a normal space and damaged your car trying to open doors or getting a pushchair unfolded?
What about if a little child was hit by another car because they had to cross the car park?
Why is that its okay for a parent with children to struggle significantly just to save you some mild inconvenience?

Choose a normal space, indicate and stop, relative gets out, you pull in. Not an option for a parent.
Drop relative at shop door, go park, not an option for a parent.
Get relative to get a blue badge, not an option for a lot of parents.

You have options, most parents don't.

honkinghaddock · 09/10/2016 09:03

My son has very severe learning difficulties and functions at 12- 18 months although he is 10. Hehas no concept of safety, severe sensory difficulties that can result in aggressive behaviour towards himself and others. He needs a specialist safety harness in the car and anytime he is not in his sn buggy. If he decides he cannot walk then I cannot carry him.

PunkrockerGirl · 09/10/2016 09:05

YANBU. It's a crazy system when an elderly frail person is expected to struggle, but a strapping healthy 12 year old gets to use the easier access spaces.

Also, what Giles said.

HyacinthFuckit · 09/10/2016 09:07

YABU, speak to Tesco about an arrangement. If your relative can't get a blue badge, and she might well be eligible, Tesco should know there's an unmet need amongst their client group. You deciding to use the provision set aside for others just means they don't realise.

There doesn't have to be only a finite amount of extra space parking available. These sorts of arguments, just like wheelchair v buggy, always seem to be predicated on the idea that we can't all have assistance. That if you're going to be unreasonable enough to go out in public whilst not able bodied and unencumbered, you should expect to have to scrap with other, different category unreasonables, in order that nobody who's had the foresight and moral rectitude to be unencumbered and able bodied should be inconvenienced by you. Fuck that. There must be provision for us all.

MrsSecker · 09/10/2016 09:12

YABU. These spaces are for parents with children. If these spaces are all full because of people using them who aren't supposed to does that mean as a driver with my DC in the back I can use a free disabled space!? No!

MrsSecker · 09/10/2016 09:12

YABU. These spaces are for parents with children. If these spaces are all full because of people using them who aren't supposed to does that mean as a driver with my DC in the back I can use a free disabled space!? No!

Eminybob · 09/10/2016 09:13

I was getting DS out of the car in a p&c space the other day in aldi. There was also a free p&c space next to me.
An elderly couple, one with a stick, hobbled past me from the back end of the carpark. I really really wanted to say to them that they should have used a p&c space. I am willing to bet that they have in the past and been berated by a twat in a 4x4 with a 10 year old for taking "her" space.
It makes me so sad. They should be offered first for less mobile people. Yes I use one with my toddler as it's easier to get him out of the car seat if I can fully open the door, but I certainly don't feel I have first dibs on them. And it does anger me to see people who clearly don't need them use them just because they are lazy or don't want thier precious car doors scratched.

Eminybob · 09/10/2016 09:15

Oh and if one isn't free then I can still get DS out, it's just a mild inconvenience, not the end of the world.

CharlieSierra · 09/10/2016 09:16

You have options, most parents don't

Hilarious!

MyNightWithMaud · 09/10/2016 09:17

It's painfully clear from this thread who regularly takes a frail and immobile older person shopping and who doesn't.

My older relative does have a BB. What seemed to be decisive in getting it is that they receive attendance allowance at the higher rate.

honkinghaddock · 09/10/2016 09:17

Having a child is nothing like having a disability.

DuckAndPancakes · 09/10/2016 09:17

Times I get pissed off with people parking in P&C spaces

  • some twat in their new flash Mercedes/audi/BMW that doesn't want to risk parking it in a normal space
-someone with a BB parking there when there are 30 available BB spaces, which as people have said, those without a BB cannot and should not use.
  • someone parking there with their 18 year olds
  • the people that sit and just wait in their car with the kids whilst someone runs in the store.

Whilst they may be a courtesy and all the rest of it, I don't think that makes it okay for it to be abused. I am likely to passively aggressively comment about the person and their invisible children as they get in their flash car.

PotteringAlong · 09/10/2016 09:25

Yabu - drop her off, park, go and meet her.

coffeemaker5 · 09/10/2016 09:25

Also sorry for my ignorance but there are a few people saying people with learning difficulties should get blue badge and hence be allowed to use the disabled parking spots by the front doors. Please could I ask how these spots benefit you?

if you have an older child that has the impulse control and road/danger awareness of a toddler (but in a much bigger and stronger body), then being able to park close to the shop And not having to trek across a busy car park becomes a life saver. is it that difficult to imagine?

Mermaid36 · 09/10/2016 09:25

We have applied to our local council for a BB for our twins who are on oxygen. Not only do we need to be able to get 2 car seats out (1 from each side of the car), we also have the obligatory bus-sized pram (inline, nor side by side), and 2 oxygen cylinders which obviously have to be within a couple of feet of each baby, secure in the pram basket before we can leave the vicinity of the car.

I'm happy to use P&C spaces, but quite often they are full or there are none. I then have to chance parking in a normal space in an empty bit of the car park in the hope that no one parks next to me.

Having a BB would be brilliant, I just need the extra space!

MrsDeVere · 09/10/2016 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Selfimproved · 09/10/2016 09:33

I agree with the PP who said it's obvious who has taken an elderly relative shopping and who has not.

A wee quote from my now deceased granny to all the healthy people who can't get their healthy kids out of their cars -

'Old age comes to us all, and it doesn't come alone.'

Think about it.

MrsDeVere · 09/10/2016 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.