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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to park in a parent and child space?

271 replies

x1982x · 08/10/2016 22:57

I have just read a story that tesco is going to start charging people who use parent and child/disabled spaces when they shouldn't.

I agree that these spaces should be kept for those who need them but once a week I am guilty of parking in a parent and child space (there are always a lot of them free) with my 82 year old relative.

The two reasons I do this are - Once when in a normal space due to there not being enough room my relative suffered a bad cut on her shin from banging it whilst trying to close the door.

The second being these spaces are always near to the door and less walking distance in an area that is dangerous for people with poor sight/hearing.

AIBU to do this?

OP posts:
blueturtle6 · 09/10/2016 07:54

Instead of having a block of p&c parking together, they should make each each space at the end of rows slightly larger and hatched area to the side. I've been the super market late at night, all spaces taken and not a baby in sight at the shop.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/10/2016 07:59

I'm glad Tesco are actually going to monitor who uses these spaces. I wouldn't dream of parking in a disabled space and it totally winds me up to that abuse of child spaces is socially acceptable where abuse of disabled isn't acceptable

Oh yes,because the two are totally comparable , aren't they?

Cheby · 09/10/2016 08:05

YABU, obviously! The spaces are provided for a particular group of people by Tesco. Not for anyone who wants a bit more space. They don't want you to use them. Therefore YABU! If you continue to do so then you'll get a fine.

Either get a blue badge for your DM or drop her off at the front; all the Tesco stores near us have a drop off bay right outside, with benches to wait on, you could drop off, help her to a bench, go park the car and come back. Parents with young children are incapable of doing this as they can't leave a toddler to wait while they go and park their car.

I'm pregnant, getting bigger every day and I have to lift my 3.5yo in and out of her rear facing seat. Very recently I was forced to park in a normal space as all the P&C ones were full. I parked with two empty spaces either side of me, which were full when we got back to the car. I physically couldn't get my DD back in without damaging the car next to us and I could only get in the drivers side by really squashing my bump. In the end, DD had to squeeze into the tiny gap on her side and climb into the car seat herself (risking damaging the seat, they are not designed to be climbed over). I had to leave her unstrapped, back out of the space and put my hazards on, get out on the road and go round to strap her in. I dread to think what might have happened if someone had hit us while I was backing out.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/10/2016 08:07

Good luck with getting a BB 'because of age' and these days it's nothing to do with your GP as another poster mentioned above.

ConvincingLiar · 09/10/2016 08:07

If your relative's mobility/vision are compromised then it would be worth applying for a blue badge. Read the criteria on her local authority's website. Having had a slight mishap getting out of the car once isn't going to be enough.

My IKEA still separates the spaces.

I think it's fine for bb holders to park in p&c but not vice versa. P&c is a courtesy, bb is essential.

foursillybeans · 09/10/2016 08:08

The problem will be with the staff at Tesco's or the car park attendent. YANBU but it won't make any different on the day.

Julju · 09/10/2016 08:10

YANBU. And I love a P&C space with a wriggly baby.

Do you go to the same store every week? If it's true they're introducing this charge, and she isn't eligible for a blue badge, could you speak to the store manager and see if you can come to some arrangement?

Meadows76 · 09/10/2016 08:10

Love how people think it's so easy to just apply for a blue badge. My dad is crippled with arthritis, can barely walk (uses a frame) and takes 4 different strong painkillers on top of one another every day and bothbthe DWP and our local council (you can apply both ways) have rejected him for a blue badge.

honkinghaddock · 09/10/2016 08:15

There are some older people who cannot be left safely on their own. One of my relatives is likely to get confused and wander off. Probably wouldn't qualify for a blue badge as contrary to popular belief they are not just handed out like sweets. As I said earlier I had to fight to get one for my profoundly disabled child and there is no guarantee it will be renewed.

MitchellMummy · 09/10/2016 08:17

I never parking in disabled spaces/parent & child spaces. But I thought the Parent/Child ones were advisory, not legally enforceable. Someone will tell me if I'm wrong.

honkinghaddock · 09/10/2016 08:19

You can't get one by asking your GP either. It is the local authority that decides and has been for a while.

CharlieSierra · 09/10/2016 08:23

Absolutely amazing the number of people on this thread who think that a partially sighted, frail elderly person should get out of the car and wait alone in order to give space to a fit young person with children. If your child has a disability you should be able to park in a blue badge space, otherwise you need and deserve no more consideration or concessions than any other person who needs a bit more room or a shorter walk. P & C spaces are a ludicrous concept.

OP YANBU

honkinghaddock · 09/10/2016 08:23

Car parks can issue their own fines but if it got to court someone who is disabled and has good reason to park in them, would not have to pay because of a business's reasonable adjustment duty.

atomicpanda · 09/10/2016 08:26

Charliesierra I agree. Such selfish attitudes.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/10/2016 08:27

The whole thing would be solved if they were just re named 'easy access spaces.'

coffeemaker5 · 09/10/2016 08:28

If your child has a disability you should be able to park in a blue badge space

you cannot unless you have a BB and BB is these days virtually impossible to get if the child has no 'physical' disability. A learning difficulty (even severe) does not make you BB eligible.

LovelyBranches · 09/10/2016 08:33

Charlie, please tell my local authority. My son is having amputations of fingers and toes in the next few weeks and because that won't stop him waking forever they won't give us a blue badge. Wales have just introduced temporary disability blue badges but because my son is 2 then he has to meet extra criteria and because his plaster casts won't be on for a year he isn't eligible for a temporary blue badge. In the meantime I'm left watching selfish arseholes park in parent and child places because they like the wide spaces. The op in this case is helping someone with a disability so should apply for a be. However I have seen people with older teenagers park in these spaces, white van men who then tell me to fuck off when I tell them that they should have children and those that have car seats but aren't carrying a child with them.

LovelyBranches · 09/10/2016 08:34

Walking*

ilovecherries · 09/10/2016 08:35

Blue badges are incredibly hard to get in my experience. My 87 year old mother has been refused twice - she walks with a stick because of severe arthritis, but she also has a degree of cardiac failure which makes her walking difficult. Each time when she's been refused she's be told she can't reapply within a certain timeframe (can't now remember what that is). Her 90 year old neighbour has recently had hers taken away and told she can reapply for it in two years. She walks with a frame. I've used P and C spaces for both of them - I tend to tell them at customer services on the way past what I've done, and the answer is always 'sure, no problem'.

honkinghaddock · 09/10/2016 08:36

It is in fact on the list of things you cannot get a blue badge for along with asd and behavioural difficulties. Some councils will issue one if you provide a convincing enough argument but it shouldn't have to be like that- another example of how those with LD's are treated like they don't matter/exist.

exLtEveDallas · 09/10/2016 08:46

Bloody hell. I had no idea things had changed so much.

When we got mum's we had to print off a form from the council website that we then took to the doctors who wrote what mum's mobility was like (bad) and cognitive powers (I think - she isn't dementing but she is very confused) and illnesses/general health (diabetes, glaucoma, deafness, asthma). The doc posted the form for us and she got the badge around a month later.

It was actually mum's doc that told us to apply and had to persuade my mum that she needed it. This was only about 5 years ago.

I am really shocked. And worried that it might be taken back now. I haven't heard anything about her being 'retested' or anything. I'd better check with dad.

God. I feel for all of you that are struggling or cannot get one. That's awful.

Cheby · 09/10/2016 08:47

easy access spaces

They aren't easy access spaces though. They are parent and child spaces. Supermarkets provide them because they want to appeal to a particular demographic.

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/10/2016 08:49

God however did our parents cope before stores had these Hmm

Now suddenly people can't get their kids in and out the car.

If I didn't take my elderly person put shed not leave the house. She doesn't have a ipad or anything to set up shopping accounts and shock horror she wants to see someone other than me and my ugly mug

It's an hour once a fortnight sometimes less. Take it up with the idiots like my family who leave car seats in the car just do they can park their 4x4 in a wider space.

People like that are the problem. Not me.

malvinandhobbes · 09/10/2016 08:52

I don;t think so. As a parent of a newborn, I appreciate the wide spaces. I would be very happy if they put them at the far end of the car park because we can walk just fine - we need the space not the proximity.

I realise I may be unique in this, and my baby is not yet running around. I do feel furious when people use them and then leave the kids in the car.

brummiesue · 09/10/2016 08:52

Yab slightly u, I have had to ask a stranger to watch my buggy while I pulled out of a space enough for me to be able to open my door to get the car seat in. This is because people use the child spaces who dont need to. There are other options for your mum as people have suggested.

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