New au pair staying out all night!

[LoisEighty]

AIBU to be a bit concerned?

Au pair is young and only arrived this week - went out this afternoon and has texted to say she's staying out all night.

I am with OP on this one the whole way. If I had a daughter working as an au pair I'd hope for a family like OP's for her, though I would also be having some hard words with her regarding abusing other people's good will. :)

It's only thoughtful and kind to be concerned and I'm not sure why some are jumping down the poster's throat? Clearly she's asking for advice not judgement. But IMO I prefer she stays out all night than use a key to get back in when we're not awake and possibly sneaking people into the house!! Just tell her the rules of the house and perhaps a time by which she needs to tell you if she's staying out so you can padlock the door. Beyond that nothing you can do as it's her choice.

thanks for letting me know but do you think it is wise. Would your mother be ok with it

What?! No. Ignore this advice! I think it's great that she's texted you to let you know, she sounds thoughtful.
It's nice that you're concerned, and she's lucky to have you watching out for her.
HOWEVER if you send that, I can promise she's more than likely to roll her eyes and just tell you nothing next time!
I remember being 18. At 18 I was moving out and going to a strange city to go to university. You're a young adult. You're finding your way.
Send a text by all means, but along the lines of "thanks for letting us know, see you tomorrow, and let us know if you need anything."
That way she'll know you're there for her if she does get stuck, and not sat at home going "now young lady, what would your mother say?!"

Just seen that she lost her friend and missed the last bus.
It's really nice that your dh went out and got her, that's what caring people do and she's lucky to have you.
That kind of thing can easily happen though. Just make sure that she has an alternative way to get home if anything like this happens again, eg taxi money or whatever kept safe.
She needs to know how to get herself home safely, lesson learnt there I think.