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AIBU?

To be so bloody angry with OH?

218 replies

CheeseAndBeans · 02/10/2016 06:53

Because I am! He went out last night with the lads. Not something he does very often so was expecting him to be a bit hungover this morning. He said he may stay at mates as saves on taxi fare plus he didn't want to disturb me and our two kids. All fine.
I get woken up by 2 year old DD coming in to our room at 5.30 to say daddy is cleaning the stairs. He then comes into the bedroom and announces he has shit himself on the stairs! Wtf?! He is steaming drunk and gets into bed, waking 3 month old DD in the process.
I get up to see what's happened and he had shat all up stairs. Cream carpet in rented house. Argh!
Go back into bedroom to yell at him to clean it up and he is snoring in the middle of the bed, can't wake him.
Kids wide awake by this point so bring them downstairs. Feed 3 month old and sat 2 year old in front of peppa pig on tv. I have now scrubbed the stairs, but whole house stinks. I am so so angry!!
Can't believe he got in such a state. He is usually amazing. Hardly goes out and is great with the kids but he has really pissed me off. How can a grown adult get in such a mess? He had sprayed carpet cleaner randomly on it and clothes in pile by washing machine. The water all over bathroom suggests he had a wash.
We have plans today to go out to see family, my side. AIBU to just get the kids ready and go without him in a few hours? I can't see him being in any state to go and to be honest I don't want to spend the day with him!

OP posts:

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TheStoic · 02/10/2016 06:58

Spend the day with him? I can't imagine letting him anywhere near me ever again.

That would literally turn me off him for the rest of my life.

ThoraGruntwhistle · 02/10/2016 07:00

I honestly don't think I would be able to speak to him. I understand why you wanted to get it cleaned up especially in a rented house but it absolutely should have been him to do it. Why on earth should you have to clean his shit up? It is utterly disgusting for a grown man to get so wasted that he loses control of his bodily functions.

KoalaDownUnder · 02/10/2016 07:00

That is disgusting.

I don't know what else to say.

ShebaShimmyShake · 02/10/2016 07:00

What is it with all the posters with partners who shit and piss themselves when drunk? Is this actually common and I've lived an incredibly sheltered life?

Naturally you have every right to be livid.

Chocolatekeepsmesane · 02/10/2016 07:00

Omg I would be livid if my dh did this.

Yes take the dc and go out as planned, have a brilliant time.

I would also either leave a note or cleaning equipment out to say I expect it all cleaned up properly by the time I get home. Oh and the house well aired.

Juanbablo · 02/10/2016 07:00

I'm sure he will feel embarrassed and apologetic once he sobers up. Shutting myself when drunk isn't something I've ever done but I would imagine I would feel awful about it after the event. Yanbu to be angry with him though and he should have cleaned it up. I agree he's probably not going to be fit to go out today so take the children and make sure he airs the house!

BastardGoDarkly · 02/10/2016 07:00

Yes, go out and leave him, you'll only waste your day glaring at him, planning his demise.

That's absolutely fucking vile, and I'm not surprised you're furious.

Leave a note saying you're really pissed off, and to clean the stairs again, when you get home, let him take the kids while you have a bath and chill out, then when kids are asleep let him know in no uncertain terms to never come home in that state again, why didn't he stay at his mates house? Shit all over their stairs? Gross.

GizmoFrisby · 02/10/2016 07:01

OMG I would hit the roof. You have enough to deal with, with your dcs. I can not stand the thought of my partner doing this. I was mad at him for not getting up with the baby last night but now I feel bad after reading this. I would go out without him, he will be moaning,puking,stinking and I'd be in a foul mood with him for about a week. How can a grown adult get into such a state. I hope u make him realise what he's done. What a prick.

seven201 · 02/10/2016 07:04

He needs to do a hell of a lot of grovelling and cleaning! Urgh

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 02/10/2016 07:05

That guy owes you one fuckuva lotta of house-cleaning. Write a really precise note and leave it for him to see when he wakes up. At the very least.

CheeseAndBeans · 02/10/2016 07:05

I know he should have cleaned it, but who knows how long it's going to be before he gets up! Couldn't bear to leave it like that.
He is normally so, well, normal! This is totally out of character for him. He will probably be mortified when he eventually surfaces.
But am disgusted! Going to get ready and head out without him, even if he gets up in next few hours I am going to tell him to stay at home, I don't want to see his face.

OP posts:

JolieColombe · 02/10/2016 07:06

Well, it's absolutely disgusting, but on the other hand, at least he recognised that and made an attempt (piss-poor though it may be) to clean it up. If this is truly out of character, I'd take the kids out as planned, but I'd be expecting to come home to a pristine house and a seriously grovelling apology!

He must have been in some state though, when he's over the hangover maybe a chat about that - and his change of plans from sensibly staying at mates to waking the family with shit-fest

JolieColombe · 02/10/2016 07:07

Sorry, meant to also say YADNBU!!

sandgrown · 02/10/2016 07:08

It's horrible but I think the fact he got in such a state shows he does not do it often. He will feel horrible and embarrassed when he wakes up. Make him pay for professional carpet cleaners and to wash his own clothes. I would go out today on your own and think about what he can do by way of an apology! My friend's husband did a similar thing but wiped the carpet with spray bleach!

GizmoFrisby · 02/10/2016 07:08

He will probably still be in bed when you get home. I hope he bathed before getting in your bed otherwise he better get your bedding washed too. I really feel for you. I would be so angry.

CheeseAndBeans · 02/10/2016 07:09

Note is a good idea. It stinks in here. The stairs go up straight from living room so can't even shut it out. Can't open windows as freezing outside and the baby will get cold.
No idea why he changed his plans. Bloody idiot!

OP posts:

WinterIsHereJon · 02/10/2016 07:09

What is it with all the posters with partners who shit and piss themselves when drunk? Is this actually common and I've lived an incredibly sheltered life?

This is something I've only ever seen on MN; I too must have lived a sheltered life (Thankfully!).

I'd be furious, I'm not sure I would ever let him near me again. It is vile. What a wonderful example for your children.

AmberLynne · 02/10/2016 07:10

On a practical note, I found vanish carpet stain remover an absolute godsend for cleaning up poo stains caused by my poorly dog.

Leave him a note before you leave that you expect the stairs to be fucking sparkling by the time you get back.

CheeseAndBeans · 02/10/2016 07:12

Gizmo, shower has obviously been on and water all over bathroom so pretty sure he cleaned himself. Although, sheets will be boil washed just in case.

OP posts:

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 02/10/2016 07:15

Oh, nobody's blaming you for the initial cleaning! You had to do what you did.

And it may be out of character, but how the two of you handle the next bit is what's important. You need to make the consequences of shitting all over the house worse than not. I didn't hear you say what you're going do to achieve this?... Because lying around in bed all day, avoiding family life and a visit to the ILs sounds like a treat to some. Unless you pack his day with so many chores he can't stop to breathe...

GizmoFrisby · 02/10/2016 07:16

Poor you. At least you know it's a rarity he goes out and is a one off. I hope you enjoy your day. Have u got any febreeze/candles you could put on to mask the smell? Or even open windows slightly? You will be out soon and when he gets up he will be the one smelling it.

OhWotIsItThisTime · 02/10/2016 07:19

Definitely go out without him. You need a break from him plus he won't be in a fit state to socialise. Leave an angry note and open the windows before you go.

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blueturtle6 · 02/10/2016 07:20

That's gross.
Ig you have any shake and vac put it on carpet for a while, failing that talcum powder. Sorry for practical advice, I cant even think how livid I'd be. Ps open all windows upstairs before going out, and leave bedroom door open.

1potato2potato3potato4 · 02/10/2016 07:23

I'd leave a note to say 'taken children to X, did what I could with the stairs. Give me a call when it's all sorted so we can come home''
He's an adult, and you say he's a perfectly normal nice one usually so I'd imagine he'd deal with it as such once awake, much like he did when pissed.
I'd talk to him about it later, but it sounds likely he'll work out for himself never to get in that state again. I would ask him why he drank so much in the first place.

Penfold007 · 02/10/2016 07:24

Sadly there is no point at shouting at someone so drunk they've shit themselves and passed out. You had no choice but to clean up the mess, not only is your home rented but it would be a health hazard for the children (& you).

Go out for the day and if people ask where he is be honest, don't cover up for him. Leave cleaning materials where he can see them and as many windows open as possible. Bear in mind though he is unlikely to be fit to do much today.

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