Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My grandson in danger of exclusion for biting

191 replies

Angiemm2016 · 26/09/2016 22:57

My grandson is in danger of being excluded for biting other children. His mum is a single parent who works hard to support him and is doing her very best to be a good mum. Although my son and she are no longer together, he does his best to support her and they are good friends - it was a teenage relationship and he is still in uni and she is now in another relationship. We have our grandson every weekend and he is a lovely boy and well behaved - although prone to the odd tantrum. The head has told her that he'd rather lose one child (our gs) than risk losing four pupil premiums which I feel is a very unhelpful thing to say - shouldn't he be seeking the help of other agencies and supporting our gs rather than threatening to expel? Any advice would be great as we're all worried sick - thanks

OP posts:
callycat1 · 26/09/2016 22:59

How old is he?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 26/09/2016 22:59

How old is he?

callycat1 · 26/09/2016 22:59

Lol

Babyiwantabump · 26/09/2016 22:59

I think this is the policy everywhere - it was mentioned at induction for my DS playgroup that any behaviour like that would not be tolerated repeatedly.

How old is the grandson? Can you not explain to him that he shouldn't do it?

Bestthingever · 26/09/2016 23:00

You haven't said how old your gs and you've given no background about his behaviour. Without that it's impossible to comment

Blu · 26/09/2016 23:05

Tell him to only bite rich kids ?

Sorry.

Ok, in a quite long OP you have told us about your son, her at Uni, all sorts, but nothing about the circumstances of the biting, or how as the adults around the child you are trying to stop it.

Biting is hardly uncommon among young children, but yes , it would be good for the school and family to make a strategy together to try and stop him.

How often has he done it?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 26/09/2016 23:05

The head has told her that he'd rather lose one child (our gs) than risk losing four pupil premiums

Really? The head really said this? Hmm

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 26/09/2016 23:09

He needs to not bite.

Just tell him not to bite people.

x2boys · 26/09/2016 23:09

why is he biting ? my son bites but hes autistic and non verbal so its out of frustration does he do it at home can he tell you why he does it?

Blu · 26/09/2016 23:12

Does he bite unprovoked , or because kids have him held down?

Frusso · 26/09/2016 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

x2boys · 26/09/2016 23:16

I dont want to use special needs flippantly but are there any and can he communicate effectivley? As i said my sons non verbal at six and his communication is poor so he bites and scratches out of frustration.

luciole15 · 26/09/2016 23:18

You need to give more details about your GS. How old? How many times has he done it? Some details of the incidents. Certainly Early Years practice is not to exclude children who bite.

Original poster
Angiemm2016 · 26/09/2016 23:27

Hi - he's four luciole

OP posts:
Original poster
Angiemm2016 · 26/09/2016 23:29

He doesn't have any Sen diagnosed but I notice that he doesn't answer questions at times and has to be told to listen and look at me when I speak to him at times

OP posts:
Original poster
Angiemm2016 · 26/09/2016 23:30

He's bitten people at least ten times - worst being last Friday when he bit another child on the face

OP posts:
tiggytape · 26/09/2016 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiggytape · 26/09/2016 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenLizIII · 26/09/2016 23:33

Hang on a minute...there is another thread involving exclusion for a 4 yo biting written by the mother just started.

Is this related?

FirstShinyRobe · 26/09/2016 23:33

I'm sure there will be lots of helpful advice specifically about the biting, but can I ask if is it you that has him every weekend or his dad?

Original poster
Angiemm2016 · 26/09/2016 23:34

We've obviously tried telling him not to bite - we've tried all sorts of things - stickers when he's good, no TV when he bites...we are as consistent as possible and he always says sorry but he's done it again today. He gets upset when his friend plays with other children so we've spoken to him about sharing and being kind but nothing seems to be working at the moment

OP posts:
Memoires · 26/09/2016 23:35

Biting is awful, it's quite feral, I think that's why other parents find it particularly hard to say "oh, they're only little" about it.

Has he always been a biter? What techniques have been used in the past, and what are you doing to discourage it now?

tiggytape · 26/09/2016 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Angiemm2016 · 26/09/2016 23:35

The head actually did use those exact words which is what I find most troubling...

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 26/09/2016 23:35

He's been in class less than a month and bitten ten times? No wonder they are threatening exclusion.
Has he shown this behaviour before?
How is his behaviour generally?
What have school and parents done to try to change behaviour?
Did he go to nursery?