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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so upset that my partner burst dd's balloon as a punishment?

182 replies

TemporarilyLost · 26/09/2016 08:14

I'm fully braced to be told I'm being precious and PFB but it's left me feeling so sorry for her . Last night there were tears and tantrums before bed. Dd, 2yrs almost 3 got angry over a wooden jigsaw and threw a piece against the wall. Dp flipped and told her off. This made her even more het up and so he took her brand new paw patrol balloon from the fair and popped it in front of her. She seemed more cross than sad at the time but this morning the first thing she did when we got up was look in the kitchen bin and say 'balloons in bin, I'm a naughty girl'. It's made me inexplicably sad for her and I'm not sure the punishment really fitted the crime but I want to know before I raise it with Dp whether I'm just being over sensitive.

OP posts:
curiousaboutthesethings · 26/09/2016 08:16

Thats really gross of him. He lost his temper and over reacted to a kid, he's totally in the wrong.

LindyHemming · 26/09/2016 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yellowflags · 26/09/2016 08:18

That would be pretty extreme in my household. My dd is a little older than yours and I would be livid if my partner did that. She was tired, it was nearly bed time, and tantrums are totally normal. The right thing to do would be to tell her not to do it and explain why. Breaking her things sets a really bad example and is pretty cruel. You are not over reacting.

Kit2015 · 26/09/2016 08:19

No sorry your DH has over reacted. That would break my heart if my daughter said that.
I think you should talk to your husband, maybe not in a confrontational way but just explain why you think what he did was wrong. Ask him why he thought it was appropriate? He might have had time over night to see the overreaction.

PuntasticUsername · 26/09/2016 08:19

Wow, that's a huge overreaction. How is your DP expecting this experience to teach (or model to) DD anything useful about handing difficult emotions such as anger?

Corabell · 26/09/2016 08:19

That's awful behaviour. So cruel and over the top to destroy the balloon like that.

VimFuego101 · 26/09/2016 08:20

Take it away, fine. But what did he think he was teaching her by bursting it?

SharingMichelle · 26/09/2016 08:21

What a nasty thing for him to have done. Poor little girl.

He was cross about her tantrum so he threw one himself.

I hope he apologises to her and explains that it was wrong of him to have done it.

IcedVanillaLatte · 26/09/2016 08:21

It seems almost violent. Destruction of someone's property is horrible.

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 26/09/2016 08:24

Poor parenting on your DP's side. A tired two year old is always going to throw a tantrum, it's totally normal. What's his excuse?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 26/09/2016 08:24

Goodness, that's awful. If she threw the puzzle then a quick word about bwhaviour and clear the puzzle away and have an early night is all that was needed!

Champagneformyrealfriends · 26/09/2016 08:24

Poor little thing.

Next time he acts irrationally or is in a bad mood for no reason why don't you smash his phone?

Obviously don't do that but that's the equivalent.

HandmaidsTail · 26/09/2016 08:25

Wow, what a spiteful cunt.

I'd be having second thoughts about him. He has no idea how to deal with a tantrumming two year old so resorts to deliberately upsetting her?

Wanker. I would go fucking nuts if DH ever did something like that.

MissHooliesCardigan · 26/09/2016 08:25

That's a massive over reaction and really cruel. Toddlers can be beyond infuriating but, as adults, we're supposed to model to them that it is possible to cope with strong emotions. All he has done is thrown his own tantrum.
Confiscating things is fine but to break a child's toy in a fit of pique is pathetic.

BurnTheBlackSuit · 26/09/2016 08:27

No, that's not right.

There is nothing wrong with her being told off or give consequences. No treat tomorrow or take away her toy for the day.

But not to get rid of something forever, that's cruel. Yes, balloons go down in the end, but it's symbolic for your DD.

However, we can all make mistakes, so to give him the benefit of the doubt, see how he feels about it in the morning. If he is sorry it is different to if he still believes he is in the right.

VioletBam · 26/09/2016 08:27

Is he her Dad? That's disgusting behaviour. If he isn't her Dad then think VERY carefully about your future with him and if he IS her Dad...the same. Parenting classes may be a good idea!

Original poster
TemporarilyLost · 26/09/2016 08:28

Phew glad I'm not overreacting. He wont apologise to her, I know that much but at least i won't feel a complete idiot telling him I don't think it was right. He's very big on old school, shouty disipline and I'm not.

She angers him, no excuse really. They both had a tantrum and he's a spooky man child.

OP posts:
WhisperingLoudly · 26/09/2016 08:28

That is an appalling thing to do.

I'm not a LTB advocate usually and I'm not telling you to either but if my Dah of 15 years treated our 5 year old like that I'd seriously consider leaving him.

What he did was cruel and deeply unpleasant

Original poster
TemporarilyLost · 26/09/2016 08:28

Spoiled man child!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
TemporarilyLost · 26/09/2016 08:30

I'm well on my way to leaving him whispering but that's another thread.

OP posts:
HelloWadeKinsella · 26/09/2016 08:31

That is absolutely horrible, and I actually wouldn't be with my DH if he behaved like that! 🙁

Horrible. Go and get her a new balloon. Stand up to him please for the sake of your daughter, you sound nervous of him. I wonder what kind of shit he gets away with unchallenged if this is what it takes before you consider saying something to him?

GunnyHighway · 26/09/2016 08:32

I would go fucking nuts if DH ever did something like that. was that meant ironically or is it only acceptable for you to lose your temper and no-one else?

BabyGanoush · 26/09/2016 08:33

I think it's vengeful and shitty doing this towards a baby

goodness, what a dick he is.

Rachel0Greep · 26/09/2016 08:34

That actually makes me feel sick, to think of anyone carrying out such a spiteful act. Please please don't let your little one grow up in that environment.

HandmaidsTail · 26/09/2016 08:34

Gunny there's a clear difference between getting angry with an adult due to them being, you know, a God-awful prick, and someone losing their shit with a toddler to the point where they break their stuff.

God save me from fucking MN pedants.