To be so upset that my partner burst dd's balloon as a punishment?

[TemporarilyLost]

I'm fully braced to be told I'm being precious and PFB but it's left me feeling so sorry for her . Last night there were tears and tantrums before bed. Dd, 2yrs almost 3 got angry over a wooden jigsaw and threw a piece against the wall. Dp flipped and told her off. This made her even more het up and so he took her brand new paw patrol balloon from the fair and popped it in front of her. She seemed more cross than sad at the time but this morning the first thing she did when we got up was look in the kitchen bin and say 'balloons in bin, I'm a naughty girl'. It's made me inexplicably sad for her and I'm not sure the punishment really fitted the crime but I want to know before I raise it with Dp whether I'm just being over sensitive.

She's 2. You need to get this evil cunt out of your and her life.

That is truly horrible. What a nasty nasty man.

Be brave and break free of him with your lovely dd.

I was in the same situation as ShouldHaveBeenJess. DS has ASC and XDP disbelieve the diagnosis and thinks it's because I'm hysterical and don't discipline him.

I left him because he was an abusive cockwomble to both me and DS.

OP, breaking/throwing out/hiding/stealing someone else's property to exert control is considered domestic abuse. XDP threw out things of mine but always claimed it was an accident or he didn't know what they were, totally gaslighting me into thinking he was reasonable. Your OH sounds a bit gaslighty by making you doubt your parenting of DD.

Give DD extra cuddles today, and for you.

He can't control his temper. Dangerous territory.

Please buy DD a new balloon and tell her that grown ups do things wrong too, and she is not a naughty girl.

Horrible, your poor DD

It was spiteful and will teach her absolutely nothing positive

Op, I read your post to my DP and he was really upset for your little dd, and totally disgusted with your 'd'p.

Your little one is a child, on the long journey of learning the world. She needs to be loved, cherished, and to feel safe and that she can trust. She will never get that from this person.
What she will get is feelings of fear, sorrow, guilt, and all the rest, because this is what nasty, controlling people like him do.

You say she angers him? For goodness sake, he's an adult. He should be showing her how to behave positively.

Other pp's have used the word 'spiteful'.....which sums up his behaviour perfectly.......and it will not get any better.

Nasty, cruel and vindictive behaviour from your partner there

I would go out and get her another balloon today.
You can see how cycles start to perpetuate themselves cant you.

Spoil her today get her another balloon. Say you found it!

His popping of her balloon teaches her that He has control over her and that if she doesn't bend to His will He will take things which are precious to her, because He can. As this is what he wants her to learn, he won't apologise - why would he, he's got the result that he was after, first nail in the coffin (except I think he's almost certainly hammered in a load few more already).

So glad you're leaving him. Don't doubt yourself. One of the things that abusive men will inevitably do is make you question your parenting.

Please don't let DD say she is a naughty girl. Take this chance to reinforce that she is a very good girl who did one naughty thing

Very good point.

I'd take a pin to his ball sack indeed.

He's a cunt. Go & buy her a replacement balloon.

Your poor DD. Yes, he is in the wrong here. She will have learned a lesson - that her Dad is vindictive, aggressive and bad tempered. If this is indicative of how he behaves normally, I'm not surprised you want to end the relationship, it sounds like a last straw type thing.

Obviously I don't know you but I suspect there's nothing wrong with the way you're bringing up your DD.

Really shitty behaviour. A two year old is still a baby

Is he her dad? If not, I would keep my eye on the way he deals with her and the way she is with him, does she cuddle him readily??
It was very mean and spiteful to do such a thing, my goodness what would happen if she did something worse???????
What HAS happened perhaps??
How does he treat you I wonder????

YANBU, what an unpleasant thing to do. Obviously she needed to be told off as she misbehaved, but this seems more of a power thing. My Dad did shit like this and it was always about control. Bless her (and you).

She's not a naughty girl, she's just a baby who is only just starting to learn about emotions. Your partner on the other hand sounds like an abusive bully. I'm glad for both your sakes that you are looking at LTB.

Ugh! What a horrible horrible person. I could never imagine me or my dh getting that angry at our almost 3 year old dd. She's still a baby in so many ways. That's disgraceful behaviour. Poor baby.

Temp, your post made me angry, however, not with you.
You can't really discipline a two year old, even though they can test your patience, you can only distract them, or guide them.
You sound to be having a very hard time, you poor love.
You're a lovely Mummy, and you'll find a way out.🌺💐

I'm not very good at disciplining her properly so I can't always trust my judgement if I think he's gone too far

What, or should I say who, makes you think you aren't good at disciplining (whatever that means) your DD. Why do you think you can't trust your judgement?

I'm worried that your partner has put these ideas in your head. He behaved like an overbearing bully not in control of his own emotion. Your stance seems far more measured and appropriate to the situation. I am very glad you are planning a split from him.

OP that actually made me cry and I'm not a crier.

Your 2-year-old was frustrated with a jigsaw and reacted in a very typical way imo (my DD is 2, nearly 3 and would do the same if she was overtired and if the jigsaw was too hard). She wasn't/isn't naughty!

Your DP massively overreacted and I'd be seething. He'll have himself to blame when she won't confide in him when she's older. She's trying to express her emotions in the only way she knows how and he's punishing her for it. I wouldn't necessarily say LTB but he really needs to educate himself about the emotional development of young children.

He sounds vile. What a horrible thing to do. Creep.

What a dick.

Bet this isn't the first time he has behaved in a cruel and vindictive manner towards your baby.

What a cunt. It makes me so sad to think your DD called herself naughty because her Dad is a prick who had to show her who's boss.

Good luck on getting away from him, sounds like you would both be much better off away from him.

This post made me so sad for for your child. Poor wee soul.

Yabu, it's a balloon.