Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so upset that my partner burst dd's balloon as a punishment?

182 replies

TemporarilyLost · 26/09/2016 08:14

I'm fully braced to be told I'm being precious and PFB but it's left me feeling so sorry for her . Last night there were tears and tantrums before bed. Dd, 2yrs almost 3 got angry over a wooden jigsaw and threw a piece against the wall. Dp flipped and told her off. This made her even more het up and so he took her brand new paw patrol balloon from the fair and popped it in front of her. She seemed more cross than sad at the time but this morning the first thing she did when we got up was look in the kitchen bin and say 'balloons in bin, I'm a naughty girl'. It's made me inexplicably sad for her and I'm not sure the punishment really fitted the crime but I want to know before I raise it with Dp whether I'm just being over sensitive.

OP posts:
WetsTheFinger · 26/09/2016 19:48

Sorry I hadn't read the full thread, that wasn't helpful.

Best of luck - you can do better

Original poster
TemporarilyLost · 26/09/2016 19:55

duck I really do know how wrong it is now but the apologies are like a reflex. I'm not really sorry but I don't want make it worse in front of dd.

Yes, he's a shitbag!

OP posts:
Cheby · 26/09/2016 20:27

Oh gosh OP, your DP is a spiteful twat, and I wish you all the luck in getting away safely and quickly with your DD.

Lunchboxlewiswillyoumarryme · 26/09/2016 20:36

What a nasty man

Duckafuck · 26/09/2016 20:38

Yes OP I can understand you'd want to stop it escalating for DDs sake and the fact you have to do that says it all really, hope you're ok and DD too Flowers

Nofunkingworriesmate · 26/09/2016 20:41

Your instincts were right
I found his actions quite aggressive, removing the balloon for a day would have been enough. Poor child is only small and tired, you only need appropriately small punishments
I'm guessing his childhood wasn't peachy
What are you waiting for, if the relationship if over , or dangerous, then get out sharp. Get advice and protect yourselves xx

Lunchboxlewiswillyoumarryme · 26/09/2016 20:43

OMG....just read the whole thread...this is not good.poor little mite.he sounds like a nasty bully.i hope to god you NEVER leave him alone with her...even better kick him out .or you and yr dd leave....

Netflixandchill · 26/09/2016 20:48

My son about the same age kept using a piece of train track to hit his baby sister, every time I took it off him he would find it and keep doing it, so in the end I snapped it and put it in the bin. He wasn't too bothered but I feel terrible about it still. What was the point in that?

blueturtle6 · 26/09/2016 20:53

Take away one of DHs man toys til he apologises see how he likes it and id be getting her another ballon.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 26/09/2016 20:53

The balloons the tip of the iceberg really isn't it. I bet your not shit at discipline I bet he has just made you feel like that. He can bully her into behaving how he wants for now but he's not making her more thoughtful, considerate, polite etc he's just making her scared. You need to get her out now before too much damage is done.

AdaLovelacesCat · 26/09/2016 20:54

it sounds really childish.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 26/09/2016 20:55

You didn't raise your voice to him so why did you apologise ?
The more I read the more I'm worried for you
Why are you letting name calling be part of your relationship? That's shocking, there are men out there that have rowed and fallen out with their partners but never name called, or put down
Name calling is not part of a normal healthy relationship

SarcasmMode · 26/09/2016 21:07

Oh temp I've read your other threads and been hoping you've found a way out.
Please do all you can. This is normal to your little girl - she'll grow up scared of her Dad and believing he owns her.
Because he thinks he owns you both.

I don't care about any redeeming qualities he's a nasty little cunt and I'd love for him to talk to another man like that but he won't, because he's a coward.

Keep engaging with WA.

But please get out.

robindeer · 26/09/2016 21:09

Apologies if I'm wrong here OP but I think I recognise your story from another thread. The evidence is stacking up against him all the time, I think you have the green card you've been waiting for. I am so looking forward to seeing a post from you saying you and your little girl are free of this monster. Until then, I wish you strength and send you love. Keep going, you're nearly there Flowers

Original poster
TemporarilyLost · 26/09/2016 21:42

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm fundamentally a walk over because I read about women that have got through it and they got out but it still seems like a tantalising fantasy to me. What the fuck is wrong with me?

sarcasm I know now he's a nasty little cunt and yet here I am. I can't be all that great if I'm an educated, feminist woman and I'm still here complaining on an online forum about it whilst letting dd and I absorb this awful shit.

I just want him gone. Permanently.

OP posts:
Original poster
TemporarilyLost · 26/09/2016 21:43

robin no your bang on. I really want to post a success story but all i do is fail myself and dd.

OP posts:
nicknameinvalid123 · 26/09/2016 21:48

He is nasty. You are losing confidence. Keep engaging with women's aid.

Even if you leave his way of responding to your daughter needs addressing though as he may well get contact and have time with her without you there to protect her.

You need very good advice.

Duckafuck · 26/09/2016 21:50

Have you been following threads by Nocapes and Skyyquake? If not, give them a read really inspirational stuff, both have LTB's recently. You can do it too, you really can.

SarcasmMode · 26/09/2016 21:52

It's because he's broken you down over the years. Constant barrages on your self worth make you feel like you have none.

Honestly due to the past with my ex I still can't see sex as something non dirty and punishing 9 years later.

I think your daughter should be your main focus. Do this for her. Walk and don't look back.

ShouldHaveBeenJess · 26/09/2016 21:57

OP. You're halfway there already. It's a rough road ahead but you have made choices and decisions. The right ones. Don't panic. Ensure you have maximum RL support in place. You can do it, you will do it. You're very brave and I have the utmost respect for you. Every day like this is a move towards being where you want to be.

robindeer · 26/09/2016 21:58

You're not failing. It hasn't been that long since the scales fell from your eyes when online strangers were shocked at your story. Only a month or so ago you truly believed you were in a normal, loving relationship. You've come so far. You will get there. You are not failing.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/09/2016 21:58

Just think about the effect this is having on your DD. And resolve to get her away from this cunt asap.

She had a normal toddler tantrum, the appropriate solution would be "I assume you don't want that then" and take the puzzle away. What the fuck was popping her balloon supposed to teach her exactly! I bet the twat wouldn't even be able to answer that.

Don't apologise to him. You have nothing to be sorry for. The sooner you get away the better.

ladyjadey · 26/09/2016 22:01

You cannot teach a child right from wrong by destroying things. YANBU. That is disgraceful behavior and I'm sorry for you both Flowers

IceIceIce · 26/09/2016 22:02

Awwww. No that'd upset me too.

IceIceIce · 26/09/2016 22:04

My other half says that's dead mean too and it'd upset him if I did it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread