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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so upset that my partner burst dd's balloon as a punishment?

182 replies

TemporarilyLost · 26/09/2016 08:14

I'm fully braced to be told I'm being precious and PFB but it's left me feeling so sorry for her . Last night there were tears and tantrums before bed. Dd, 2yrs almost 3 got angry over a wooden jigsaw and threw a piece against the wall. Dp flipped and told her off. This made her even more het up and so he took her brand new paw patrol balloon from the fair and popped it in front of her. She seemed more cross than sad at the time but this morning the first thing she did when we got up was look in the kitchen bin and say 'balloons in bin, I'm a naughty girl'. It's made me inexplicably sad for her and I'm not sure the punishment really fitted the crime but I want to know before I raise it with Dp whether I'm just being over sensitive.

OP posts:
InTheseFlipFlops · 26/09/2016 11:22

What a bully.
She was tired, and is 2!!!!!!!!!

My dh is stricter than me and he expects more than me. Normally it results in me going "she's 4!" He then gets it and apologises to her. They deal with the issue and move on.

scorpionadmin123 · 26/09/2016 11:23

Wow this man is truly evil, he burst a balloon. You people are all primates!!

alphabook · 26/09/2016 11:24

That's heartbreaking! I still haven't forgiven my dad for making me give my balloon to another girl at my birthday party because hers had burst! (I'm only half serious, but still, that's an awful thing to do to a young child.)

scorpionadmin123 · 26/09/2016 11:25

That's enough mumsnet for today

InTheseFlipFlops · 26/09/2016 11:25

Last week I lobbed something across the room In frustration (it's really really not like me, but the thing was blinking impossible and the kids thought it was hilarious)
Would he break something of mine?

WhatWouldCoachBombayDo · 26/09/2016 11:26

That's horrible!! Totally unacceptable!! Make him go to get a replacement balloon, apologies to her for his overreaction!

DP accidentally burst DS's balloon from a zoo, poor DS was heartbroken. DP drove 2 hours the next day to get another because he felt so bad. I was a bit miffed thinking he'd had to purchase another zoo entry ticket to get the balloon think "Jesus this replacement balloon has cost £30ish quid!!" Blush But DP actually explained to the woman in the ticket booth his predicament and they allowed him to just purchase the balloon from the gift shop Grin

DisgruntledGoat · 26/09/2016 11:26

Doesn't sound like the punishment fitted the crime to me. My DH tends to react in the moment and it's only later when I point it out to him does he think about what he's done. He once switched off my sons Xbox while he was playing as punishment for him not doing one of his chores and he lost all the progress he'd made on a game he was playing. I was gutted for my son as I know how important is was to him and furious at my DH. Your DH really should apologise to your daughter for his ott reaction. We all screw up but you have to admit it, own it and fix it.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/09/2016 11:42

That's just nasty. Lack of self-control on his part, and he's leaving your DD believing that she's a "naughty girl", which, at her age, could settle into her brain and shape her beliefs in herself.

No i don't think the punishment fit the crime at all - I think he was just mean for the sake of it, because he was angry - and that bodes ill as she gets older. :(

I hope you do manage to get out; but he needs to also know that his behaviour isn't appropriate.

Poor girl - hope she's ok today. That's not discipline, that's meanness.

JellyBelli · 26/09/2016 11:57

So whanr your toddler acts like a toddler so does your DH? This does not bode well for the future.
He's a spiteful shit IMO.

BastardGoDarkly · 26/09/2016 12:46

Scorpion excellent, toodle pip then Hmm

Thinkingblonde · 26/09/2016 13:11

A cruel overreaction act on his part. A better 'punishment' would have been to maybe shut it away somewhere for a while, or removing a sticker from a chart (if you do sticker charts that is)

Original poster
TemporarilyLost · 26/09/2016 13:24

God id love to show him this (obviously wouldnt dare).

I called and we 'talked' about it. As in I got the tirade of don't interfere when I'm trying to discipline her, she only acts like this when you're around , she wouldn't dare with me, you're too soft with her' on and on. Cunt.

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/09/2016 13:25

You're not being PFB at all. I detest that phrase.
That's not punishment that's down right wickedness. He's on about a 2 year old baby throwing a tantrum while he as an adult is throwing an even bigger one. If he wants to control the situation. He needs to get himself under control, long before. I'll go as far as to say that he needs anger management. Heaven forbid but with that temper. It might not be a balloon that gets it next time.
Also your dd will not forget you know.
I remember things now from when I was very little , as they must have been big to me at the time. This event will be big to her as well.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/09/2016 13:28

"She wouldn't dare with me"
Does he actually realise he's talking about a 2 year old and not a 6ft tall 6ft wide shaven body building bloke,
Mind you. He wouldn't be as "brave" then, would he.

ayeokthen · 26/09/2016 13:32

She wouldn't dare with me is a horrible thing to say! Children learn by guidance, boundaries and consequences (reasonable ones not threatening ones) not by fear!

Original poster
TemporarilyLost · 26/09/2016 13:38

I've explained to dd that Daddy was wrong and next time there's a fair I'll get another Skye balloon for her. She's ok now.

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 26/09/2016 13:41

Poor DD. What a mean thing to do.

As PP have said, make sure she understands that she is not a naughty girl, that she did one thing wrong and that Daddy lost his temper which was not a good thing to do.

..and the very best of luck with your getaway plans. It sounds like the sooner you and DD are away from him the better.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/09/2016 13:41

RE scorpion. Don't feed it,

StopShoutingAtYourBrother · 26/09/2016 13:43

My dh did this once.

At the time and again after the moment I sat down and told him how petty, and vindictive it was and I offered to break his new smart phone to teach him the lesson in not loosing ones temper and how it would feel.

In fairness he already felt very bad and had made concrete steps to make it up and apologise to the DC. He knew he shouldn't have done it. Never happened again.

PikachuBoo · 26/09/2016 13:48

Good luck in creating a new life for you and your DD. What a horrible thing to do. Poor wee thing.

Gottagetmoving · 26/09/2016 13:49

Tell your DP that shouting is not discipline and maliciously damaging his child's balloon is not discipline either.
Definitely interfere when he deals with your child in that way because he has no idea what discipline is.

EveOnline2016 · 26/09/2016 13:52

There is discipline and there is loosing your temper.

What he did was loose his temper.

Taking the puzzle off her for throwing it would be more appropriate. It gives her the message if you thr

EveOnline2016 · 26/09/2016 13:52

Throw toys then those toys will be taken.

RachelRagged · 26/09/2016 13:52

What a nasty twat .

YWNBU to pull him for that OP . . Poor little girl.

srslylikeomg · 26/09/2016 14:03

You know in poker when people have 'tells'? Little behaviours that betray something about them? Well, this is a tell on your DH and I'm afraid he's a right cunt.
He's showing you and your DD loud and clear that he considers himself master and owner of all you survey. It's not HER balloon it's his and he can take it away. He has power. As I say, he's a right cunt. I'd leave asap if I were you.

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