To expect the kids to be picked up after?

[RavioliOnToast]

My dfil has had both DDs 4(in school until 3pm) and 19mo today and Wednesday. Wednesday he took them to McDonald's for tea, when I came home (approx 2 hours after they'd eaten) to McDonald's bags all over the kitchen, empty happy meal boxes, half used pots of ketchup all over the kitchen table and food on the floor. Today, again (approx 2 hours after they'd eaten) I came back to food on plates and all over the floor, trailed through the passage into the living room, empty food boxes all over the kitchen. Now I don't even expect him to do the dishes but aibu in thinking he should have put the wrappers/discarded food into the bin and swept up after them? Youngest DD had emptied older DDs school bag all over the floor so there was uniform and homework all over and he'd just left it? Am I bang out of order being a bit pussed off?

Sorry my title probably isn't clear...

If it's free childcare then that's the price you pay. Suck it up or pay for proper childcare.

Oh and he'd made kievs for tea and the butter had leaked off the bench all over the washing machine and had been left there...

Honestly you had free childcare and they got fed. Stop being so ungrateful.

3 children are hard work and if your 4 year olds aren't tidying up after eating then no I wouldn't expect him to do it. Same with their bags, they should have been put away.

Sorry but I agree, free childcare means you get what you pay for

Yabu.

You'll get a lot of people saying how unreasonable you are, pay for someone to look after your kids, you should be grateful for his help blahblahblah

but it takes four seconds to stuff boxes into a bin liner and anyone with half a brain, an ounce of kindness and a smidge of competence would do so.

Anyone suggesting she's being unreasonable should think about whether they would leave that crap lying about. No, they wouldn't, or if they cheerfully admit they would, they need to have a weeny little think about themselves.

Right, but most people would clear up out of common courtesy. It was rude of him to leave such a mess in my opinion.

Depends entirely on whether you pay him for this childcare.
If no, yab massively unreasonable and ungrateful. Your only acceptable response is 'thanks so much for today'.
If you're paying the going rate, yanbu.

And bingo.

And I've just burned myself in th job that has been left on for the last 2 hours

So all you lot that want paying, if you looked after someone's kids as a favour, you'd be perfectly happy to leave rubbish everywhere?

Really? I wouldn't dream of leaving anyone's house like that. I have 2dds

Fuck. Now that's a different matter.

Don't agree hully. You aren't paying for childcare = you can't order how things are done - safety excepted.

Pay a childminder OP

YADNBU
it's common courtesy to clean up after yourself irrespective of whether it's free childcare or not.
That's just rude and those eating YABU are mad!
Would you genuinely leave someone's house in a mess because you were doing them a favour?

No, I think he needs to do the basics. Prob not washing up but he could clear the bags or get Dd's to and put them in the recycling. Then wipe up the butter that was over the washing machine or just shove all plates in the sink . Maybe he doesn't do anything for himself?

No, yanbu, I would not leave crap everywhere if I'd looked after a family member's children. He should at least have got the 4 year olds to help tidy up the mess.

He never usually babysits to be honest. When I start my new job properly I'll be one day a week and a night so we won't need childcare as DH can switch his days off. It's just while I'm doing my training that he offered to lend a hand cause it's 2 weeks full time.

How old is fil? Is he struggling to cope?

If you'd posted saying you had three children under 5 and were exhausted and couldn't face clearing up and then were upset because in your tiredness you'd let the hob on by accident, you'd have people falling over themselves to tell you to be "kind to yourself" about how exhausting it is etc.

And I'm sure most mothers of 3 under 5s will be a lot younger than your fil.

I have 2 DDs , what I meant is one is 4, one 19months.

Fil is 55ish I believe

My DF is the same. If I need him to watch DD for a couple of hours then I have to take her out first to tire her out in order for her to sit quietly and watch cartoons with him. There are usually toys/cups/wrappers everywhere when I get back. Any toys that are tidied away are not in the correct place so there are bits missing when we next play with them.

Tbh, it really doesn't bother me. He's doing me a favour and he does his best (my mum always did everything for him/us so this is really his first experience of childcare!).

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a bit of picking up. I babysit for a friend for free. I wouldn't leave her house a state, because whilst she doesn't pay me I do actually respect and like her and want her to come home to a house that is at least in a similar state to how she left it....

maybe he can't really cope?

Depends what he is doing with the kids in the meantime, IMO? I personally find two at those ages (same as my DC, give or take!) pretty all-consuming and tbf it is sometimes after I've put then to bed before I get round to clearing away dinner debris..... And I have 24-7 care so should've got used to it by now but some days I just don't get a handle on it. if DFil is only an occasional carer, and older, and (& it has to be said) is a bloke, it's fairly certain he's no way even realised or noticed.....

And I do have to agree - if all you have to do for free childcare is spend Half hour tidying up of an afternoon i don't think you should really grumble outloud at least !