To expect the kids to be picked up after?

[RavioliOnToast]

My dfil has had both DDs 4(in school until 3pm) and 19mo today and Wednesday. Wednesday he took them to McDonald's for tea, when I came home (approx 2 hours after they'd eaten) to McDonald's bags all over the kitchen, empty happy meal boxes, half used pots of ketchup all over the kitchen table and food on the floor. Today, again (approx 2 hours after they'd eaten) I came back to food on plates and all over the floor, trailed through the passage into the living room, empty food boxes all over the kitchen. Now I don't even expect him to do the dishes but aibu in thinking he should have put the wrappers/discarded food into the bin and swept up after them? Youngest DD had emptied older DDs school bag all over the floor so there was uniform and homework all over and he'd just left it? Am I bang out of order being a bit pussed off?

What Hully said. Of course.
Yanbu OP.

I understand you being aggravated. It seems an over the top mess to leave, could at least clean up a bit. However, he is probably doing the best he can and he is caring for your dc, so I would try to give him the benefit of the doubt and try to appreciate what he is doing for you. That doesn't mean you can feel aggravated though! We all need to vent at these things!

can't

By 'planned' day to look after DDs was that we'd sorted alternative childcare next week because of not wanting to ask too much of anyone so everybody offered for 1/2 days.

Hullygully
it takes four seconds to stuff boxes into a bin liner and anyone with half a brain, an ounce of kindness and a smidge of competence would do so.

^^^^ This!

YANBU< It doesn't take long, it's courteous AND he can do it with the help of your elder DD, teaching her that Mam isn't a servant, and if you make a mess you clear it up yourself because that's what grown-up people and Big Girls and Boys do.

I don't think you're unreasonable at all.

Thanks 2Kids. I'm just pleased it was me that stupidly leaned on the hob and not the DDs (I know they couldn't lean on it but older DD can reach)

Well....
If it only takes a few seconds to clear up, then it's not really a big deal, is it? I bet it looked worse than it was. He probably didn't want to leave them while he cleared up.

I understand it's rubbish to come back from work to a mess but in reality it could be dealt with in the time it would have taken to roll your eyes!

There's no way I'd leave someone else's house like that if I was minding their kids. It's just rude. Of course you're grateful for his help, it doesn't mean you can't also be pissed off that he's left the house in a manly tip. Two kids, one at school, bought dinner he's only mid 50's. Putting a bit of rubbish in the bin & wiping up stuff you've spilt us not expecting much! FGS

I'd be pissed off too. And I understand how knackered you are. And in pain from the hob burn. (Have you got any aloe - it was brilliant for a recent burn?)

But my gratitude for his help would outweigh the piss-ness.

I would be annoyed too, but wouldn't say anything. I just think it sets a really poor example for the kids. It's not difficult to remind a child to put their litter in a bin or plate next to the sink. If you do it every time it becomes second nature, just like saying please and thank you. Is his own place a state? Some people just don't seem bothered by mess.

Ha ha. iPhone has an opinion on this! I typed MANKY it changed it to MANLY

What's the big deal about tidying up when it's "free childcare"? What difference does it make if it's free or paid? It's not difficult to stick some rubbish in the bin and tidy up after yourself and the kids you're looking after. It's all part of the job imo- if I looked after someone else's kids in their home I would not think twice about clearing up my crap after myself and after the kids, because to me it's part and parcel of babysitting. I'd have some respect for that person's house. But that's just me I guess.

But of course for some people it all just comes down to money. It's it's free childcare then you can do what ever the fuck you like in their house! might as well smear food everywhere are leave pooey nappies in the living room because it's FREE childcare.

Don't have any aloe, keep putting cold kitchen roll on.

I'm not madly pissed off, just a bit more of a sigh, I can't be arsed to now clean this up after my day...

I wouldn't ever dream of saying anything. I just wanted to know if everyone would really not be arsed at the actual state of the place. It looked horrendous. It smelled really bad too as dd2 had pooed in her nappy and it was all dried and pressed on her bum so had been there a while and the whole house was rotten cause of it

are should say and

It's should say If

This phone grrrrrr!!

Yanbu OP. Stacking the plates and wiping the floor isn't too much to ask at all.

The fact he wasn't being paid us neither here nor there.

The hob is just shocking.

Look on the bright side i bet they enjoyed their meal:-)

And the time with their Uncle!

YANBU to be annoyed about the mess. He is BU to leave such a mess, but YWBU to say anything about it because he is doing you a favour.

I would focus on the standard of his child safety skills - is he good at anticipating hazards/accidents?

If so then, then on top of that he entertains them and keeps them happy and feeds them (does he pay for their food?) YABU. What's a few boxes on the floor. I'd rather the FIL be keeping an eye on a 4yo and 19mo than tidying away boxes. They move fast, and when you aren't used to it 24/7 you really need to keep your eyes peeled. So easy for them to have an accident/put something in their mouth (19mo) etc.

Never mind the free childcare comments your father in law is perfectly capable of putting mcdonalds wrappers in the bucket thats ridiculous or the older kid could do it.

So, a not very hands on grandfather, who usually spends his leisure time golfing, and who is not very used to kids, made a mess in the kitchen while minding your kids?

And you are posting in all miffednes because you dont understand?

beats me.

He's a slob

Bet if it was mil there wouldnt be free childcare comments

I don't believe that free child care= Put up with anything. It would be common decency to do a basic tidy up of any mess that he'd made. It's not as though she's asking for a deep clean, just not having to come in from work to a tip