Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

To not want anyone else using our caravan?

220 replies

Welshmaenad · 13/09/2016 15:23

I have recently bought a caravan (static) in a very popular holiday spot (well, I've paid a deposit and will be settling the balance when it is sited and ready). The money has come from my DDad who recently passed away. He and my mum, who died 2 years ago, always planned to get a nice caravan when they both retired, sadly mum died before she took retirement so they never fulfilled their dream, so thus feels like a special thing to do with some of the money I have been lucky enough to inherit from them. It's a very nice site with excellent facilities and the caravan itself is pretty swish, brand new and was quite expensive - not bragging at all but just pointing out that it's a significant and quite special investment for me.

I am already getting people commenting that they would love to stay in it and giving me sob stories about how they haven't been able to afford a holiday in ages, etc. I know it probably sounds selfish but this is something I am doing for my family, not to give people free holidays. My DP used to live in this area and his DC lives here so he will be using it as a base to spend more time with the DC; I intend using it frequently with him and my own DC, and my ExH will be using it in his weekends with the DC too, potentially with his partner and her child who I both know and like. And frankly that's as far as I want it to go, the second bedroom in the vsn will be the kids room and they will have their own bedding etc, we will be keeping lots of personal possessions there for ease, and I don't want all and sundry sleeping in it, poking through our stuff and so on. We may host friends whilst we are also there but I don't want others using it when we're not. When I've told people this they seem really put out and insinuate I'm being selfish.

I'm not, am I? I feel like I need to be really strict from the start or it will be a slippery slope and I will end up providing free holidays for all and sundry. AIBU in wanting to keep it for ourselves?

OP posts:

PovertyPain · 14/09/2016 17:57

Absolutely not! I made that mistake and ended up with so many things broken, including a fucking window, that the caravan looked like shit by the end of the summer. My husband's siblings and their partners had great holidays in it and not one owned up to ANY of the damage. They actually complained when we sold it because what were they supposed to do now.

Katherine2626 · 14/09/2016 17:57

I hope you thoroughly enjoy your times in your caravan - it sounds like a dream come true.
I cannot imagine why people think they can expect a holiday there; if you bought a new car would they expect to borrow it? If you bought yourself some designer clothes would they ask to wear them ? This caravan will be just as personal, full of your own treasures, and more to the point, YOURS. I would do as others have suggested; not offer, and if they persist in asking just say you had not even considered renting it out. That will also give the hint that a 'free' holiday is just not in the frame at all, ever.

MrsWhippie · 14/09/2016 18:03

What a cheek, especially if they are expecting it free of charge. And even if they paid, you would always find something left mucky, damaged, or even just moved! Nope, enjoy your new caravan and cherish happy memories of your Ma and Da x

brasty · 14/09/2016 18:09

Just tell them you are letting it out when you are not using it, and it is already booked up a lot. If they want to pay, you can see if it is free. People will stop asking.

lscott1009 · 14/09/2016 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 14/09/2016 18:11

'I have a holiday home and a mum at school hinted and hinted without subtlety that she'd like to stay there. I didn't make the offer and she's been frosty ever since. '

No big loss. Cheeky cow.

FluffyPineapple · 14/09/2016 18:19

I have only read the OP but I would say you are DNBU. As a caravan owner I very often get requests from friends and neighbours stating they haven't had a holiday in years blah blah...... I bought a caravan for a base for me and my DC to use whenever we want to. We don't go abroad as I won't kennel my dogs. Our caravan is perfect for all of us. If anyone asks about a specific date I always tell them its booked.

Like you I have many personal possessions in my caravan and I don't want anybody nosing through them. Besides .....My parents used to let their caravan out to be able to pay their ground rent. They had people trashing the caravan.

dottybooboo22 · 14/09/2016 18:20

Well it sounds to me as if you plan to use it as often as you can, so there won't be any openings for anyone else. Just tell them that.
I'd be exactly the same.
If you can afford the ground rent without renting it out that's great.

wornoutboots · 14/09/2016 18:20

wow some people!
Maenad just say the truth - that for now, at least, you won't be letting it out or allowing freebies.

If a friend of mine managed to get a caravan my response would be "oooh how lovely! where to? Oooh I've heard good things about that area/I had a great time when I stayed there, you'll have some good times there."
and not a single hint, because it's YOURS.

So tell me where now, so I can covet quietly please (ceredigion? gower?... tell meeeeee!)

ohtheholidays · 14/09/2016 18:28

No,we had a static caravan on a popular site and it cost us alot of money we never let alone else stay there.

Like you we had our own bedding on the beds,we had personal belongings there and we had clothes there.
We knew a few other families that had let other friends and family stay in they're caravans and every single one of them had had a problem.It was either something had been damaged or lost or they'd left a mess or had invited other people to stay that the owners didn't even know.

Just tell them you won't ever know when the caravan is going to be free because your ex husband will be using it when your not,that way they have a reason and there's nothing you can do about it so they should leave you alone then.

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 14/09/2016 18:33

I live in Devon, OP. I feel your pain!

Every one expects me to let them stay here and one had the balls to demand I let them have free run of my home the weekend I went away so they could have a holiday. If I wanted to run an AirBnB I would. And I'd be paid for the trouble!!

I have to be really careful now not to tell people I'm going away because I get nagged for a free holiday.

The last time I let someone stay stuff was stolen, broken and a ridiculously huge phone bill was run up I had to pay :(

Wreckless1 · 14/09/2016 18:42

Honestly, it's a bloody nightmare! We have horrible problems with our caravan as everyone seems to expect to use it. We are happy for very close family to use it but even they take other people there when we said no to that and even lie to us after they did it. Friends are well huffed when we say no, no matter what reasons we give.The family don't leave it clean or sorted in the way we like it and have even taken their bloody dogs after we told them not to. I cant believe how much of our bit of heaven has been tainted by family who don't give a shit and just seem to want to abuse our hospitality. Nightmare situation and no, you are defo not being unreasonable. the more you let people use it, the more it and you are abused! Sorry to sound negative but we are constantly shoked by what we have to put up with. Keep your gorgous bit of heaven for you and yours and have a great time.

HanYOLO · 14/09/2016 18:52

YANBU

Just say for now you're intending to be there too much to be able to let it at the moment. But you'll let them know if you decide to take rentals in years to come.

Or, actually, little white lie - the site doesn't allow you to have other people use it when you are not there. This was the case for the site my friend and her family had hers on.

QueenLizIII · 14/09/2016 18:53

Just ignore. They will stop dropping hints eventually.

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 14/09/2016 19:01

ooh good one HanYOLO

Insurance wont allow it is a very good excuse if they pester.

Tapandgo · 14/09/2016 19:02

"We are not renting it out. We have other plans"

Enjoy your caravan

Yorkiebar71 · 14/09/2016 19:05

I inherited a lot of money 2 years ago and bought a holiday home in Spain. The number of casual acquaintances who assumed they could now have cheap holidays was incredible! One 'friend' wanted to use it when I told her a price she said she didn't expect to pay and hasn't spoken to me since, her loss! Especially as I wouldn't have actually charged her I just wanted to see her reaction! YANBU to keep it for yourself only close family stays in mine and I'm happy to keep it that way

AlexRose5 · 14/09/2016 19:06

I agree with a few commenters on here that say don't offer and if anyone is so brash to ask say it's in use. They'll soon get sick of asking . Don't think you should feel bad about it though, if it was a car you bought with the money people would expect to use that. I imagine even if tge caravan is bought outright there are still site fees and utility bills? So you'll be out of pocket if someone else uses it on top of feeling uncomfortable with your personal belongings being touched. Shrug these chancers off.

SallyDapp · 14/09/2016 19:28

I have a van in mid Devon, it still costs something to run, there are pitch fees, gas, electric and maintenance. No way is it a cheap holiday, it's my home from home and there's no chance on this earth that anyone else is living in it when I'm not! However I might do a swap if someone's interested for a week.

Oakley02 · 14/09/2016 19:28

Cheeky wotsits - do exactly what you want to do and tell the scroungers to sod off, this a personal thing to you, please don't feel sorry for letting in every Tom, Dick & Harry! X

FurryLittleTwerp · 14/09/2016 19:34

we have a holiday cottage - I've told very few people about it. DH told a couple of work colleagues & at some social do we went to one of their wives started nagging me about using it to put up relatives who wouldn't fit in their house when they came to stay.

It's only half an hour from where we live & quite close to the colleague's house.

"sorry, no - it's just for us they can use a B&B like normal people "

Original poster

Welshmaenad · 14/09/2016 19:36

Loads of really good comebacks here, thank you so much, I feel much more confident that I'm armed with some if anyone else asks!

boots it's in Pembrokeshire, near my beloved Narberth

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 14/09/2016 19:47

Wreckless, why don't you stop letting 'family' use it then? They ask you say, 'No, we've had too many bad experiences. It's just for us now.' 'But but . . . ' 'No, it's just for our use now.'

DinosaursRoar · 14/09/2016 19:55

I wouldn't bother with lies etc, but fobbing off a little - "well, it's not going to be ready until next year and already got plans for pretty much every weekend of the season between us and family wanting to use it so we're going to have to say no to friends for a couple of years unless they are staying with us." Then stop mentioning it.

I must say though, it's a bit tackless to be talking about buying a caravan / second home with people who can't afford any holidays, I would be careful to talk about expensive holiday plans with people who can't afford a cheap week away, this is not much different.

cavatron · 14/09/2016 20:13

Can I just chip in and add that I think you are wonderful for having such a fantastic relationship with ExH and his partner? So refreshing and I bet your kids are happy and content.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9