To not want anyone else using our caravan?

[Welshmaenad]

I have recently bought a caravan (static) in a very popular holiday spot (well, I've paid a deposit and will be settling the balance when it is sited and ready). The money has come from my DDad who recently passed away. He and my mum, who died 2 years ago, always planned to get a nice caravan when they both retired, sadly mum died before she took retirement so they never fulfilled their dream, so thus feels like a special thing to do with some of the money I have been lucky enough to inherit from them. It's a very nice site with excellent facilities and the caravan itself is pretty swish, brand new and was quite expensive - not bragging at all but just pointing out that it's a significant and quite special investment for me.

I am already getting people commenting that they would love to stay in it and giving me sob stories about how they haven't been able to afford a holiday in ages, etc. I know it probably sounds selfish but this is something I am doing for my family, not to give people free holidays. My DP used to live in this area and his DC lives here so he will be using it as a base to spend more time with the DC; I intend using it frequently with him and my own DC, and my ExH will be using it in his weekends with the DC too, potentially with his partner and her child who I both know and like. And frankly that's as far as I want it to go, the second bedroom in the vsn will be the kids room and they will have their own bedding etc, we will be keeping lots of personal possessions there for ease, and I don't want all and sundry sleeping in it, poking through our stuff and so on. We may host friends whilst we are also there but I don't want others using it when we're not. When I've told people this they seem really put out and insinuate I'm being selfish.

I'm not, am I? I feel like I need to be really strict from the start or it will be a slippery slope and I will end up providing free holidays for all and sundry. AIBU in wanting to keep it for ourselves?

[Lolimax]

We had already decided to be very protective about our caravan but this thread has sealed it for me.
Welsh I hope you enjoy yours as much as we love ours. We aren't a million miles away from you and I love it!

[Shona52]

No YANBU. You don't have to explain to anyone or justify your reasoning. I would be the same in your shoes. Enjoy it and don't feel guilty or obligated to anyone

[Gwenhwyfar]

"How is that insulting? Just doesn't sound as close as you think."

I never said she was a close friend.

[PikachuSayBoo]

Not a static but I havea tourer and people have straight out asked to borrow it. One person even reckoned I could tow it two hours for her, set her up and come and collect her at the end of the week.

Hmmmm, never going to happen.

[Wreckless1]

expat - theres nothing Id like better to do than to tell 'family' that they cant use it, but unfortunately family politics stop that. Big problem is that the 'family' is DHs sisters and brothers and he just lies down and lets them lie to him and bully him.DH doesn't want to look like the meany so that's me now!!! He knows that one of them even got extra keys cut so they go when we don't know about it and IT MAKES ME FUME. If we changed locks it would cost a lotand they could get more cut again the next time one of them goes. It all comes down to people taking the piss and unfortunately our patheticness too. Is patheticness a word?

[deste]

Charge 'em £75 a week for the utilities/rent and they leave it as they found it plus bring own bedding? These things ain't free after all - you have to pay service charges.

If you can get a caravan on a decent site for 75.00 a week I'd be surprised, what about the rest of it, site fees, electric, gas, preparation for winter and it could be almost double that.

I had a friend ask before we had even paid for ours if she could borrow it, when I said no she was shocked and asked why not. Why would we work our socks off to sit at home while someone was having a free holiday. Yes but we could come mid week. ( with the son, his ADHD DD and his girlfriend and then there's the other brother and girlfriend and her two.)

I have never used the grill because I hate cleaning them but bet your life someone would use it and leave it dirty.

When I said the answer was still no she eventually got it after someone we were working with told us he had bought a trailer tent and a colleague had asked to borrow before he had taken ownership. He then went on a rant about the colleague being cheeky for even asking, She being one of life's users didn't think she was being cheeky.

A friend has just bought a new villa in Spain and whenever she posts pics on Facebook I can see all the cousins and relatives asking for a turn. I told her to just say no that you are not letting it out this year and keep saying it. We had an apartment in Majorca and it was only people we knew but the damage was unbelievable but no-one owns up to it. I could actually write a book about the scams that people get up to with your property.

[deste]

Friend has a caravan on the same site, (you are not allowed to rent it out). Her sister told someone she could use her sisters van cheap. She didn't know the person but is so quiet and shy she tried to say no but the sister wouldn't listen. She then had to empty it of all her belongings to let this person in, they then handed her £75.00 to cover electric while they sat at home.

[SuperDuperPoopaScoopa]

Wreckless1 are you living my life in some sort of parallel universe? Your tales are freakily like ours. I wish that we had never even see our holiday home, let alone buy it. It has caused an unbelievable amount of trouble and all because of others' expectations and determination to do what they want, regardless of anything that we have said. Actually, "it" hasn't caused anything. One family member has caused all of the trouble and now no longer speaks, having poisoned other family members against us. All because we wouldn't let him just take over our holiday home with his buddies for a boyz weekend. Families, eh............

[SabineUndine]

I used to have a colleague who had a house in Spain and I did ask if she rented it out but actually I was just interested to know, as I've thought about buying abroad at some point and wondered if it was worth the hassle. Certainly wouldn't expect a freebie or mates rates.

[ParanoidGynodroid]

Ah, Pembrokeshire is wonderful. I live quite near to there. So many beautiful coastal areas to explore.

[RebelandaStunner]

I have to say the family and a very few, very good friends that have used our holiday cottage have left it spotless.
We don't charge them and we only offer dates that suit us (it's in an all year round area but still has a main season that gets booked up quickly). After reading this thread it's made me realise how polite and respectful they all are
So I am more relaxed than ever about everyone using it and will continue to do so as we do like to offer it to people rather than it be empty.

[GnomeDePlume]

Wreckless1 have a look into locks where keys cant be duplicated without your permission:

www.banham.co.uk/doorlocks/
www.tigriskeys.com/letter-of-authority

That might stop the so-and-sos!

[iMogster]

YANBU. It's yours to enjoy. You are wise to say no from day one.

My friend has a 3 bedroom holiday home in Spain, she let friends and family stay occasionally. One of the rules was to wash all the bedding and towels, clean round and put the bins out. One group, washed all bedding and towels and hung to dry and then locked up and left. Roll on a couple of months and she goes to stay. The whole place was ruined with mould. She had to skip all soft furnishings (sofas, beds, curtains etc) and deep clean everything and re decorate. She has never let it since!

[Ledkr]

Hew have a motor home and I made it really clear from the start that we won't be lending it out, We like you have lots of personal possessions in it and it's ready to go at a moments notice. Sometimes you just have to please yourself before others.

[Pritchyx]

YANBU. It is yours. You are entitled to say no and not budge on your decision!
My uncle owns one in Devon on a popular haven site and offers me the chance to go down there once a year so I won't say no. I give him £150 for the weekend to cover the cost of electric and gas and take my own food and bedding! I always make sure it's spotless when I leave too. I've even been there on a girls weekend and still managed to keep it immaculate despite being with my 2 best friends who are extremely messy (constant reminders on picking stuff up and putting it away!)

I suppose if they are trusted to keep it in perfect order and not go wild and take the piss then it is a different story, there are a few that will take the piss and ruin it! But you and your family will be using it frequently so that is a perfectly good reason to not even contemplate anybody else going in there!

[northernshepherdess]

Yeah totally unreasonable... you shpuke Def let them use it for...
Say a thousand pounds a week. ;)

Of course yanbu. It's not just a holiday home...its part of a precious dedication to a memory of your parents and was brought with their money.
Im a sharer and ìd definitely offer it to certain friends but they are the same friends who would never ask or expect it.
It's terribly cheeky for people to ask or hint to use it, specially as it's so new and you've not had time to normalise to it... The fact they don't realise what it means to you... and so have hinted at it.. means they're not close enough to you to care about you're feelings, so certainly not your property.

Mind, don't be so "lordly" about it that you think everyone who says "I haven't had a holiday since.." wants a loan of it.
If you told me you had just brought a holiday home, I'd tell you as part of discussion on the subject matter of holidays, that I've never been on holiday.
You might think that I'd want to borrow it and was "hinting' especially if you have got of the mindset that every one wants this amazing thing you have and how dare they.
But I've never been on holiday as an adult, well 15, because I don't like leaving home.

Btw... well done on sharing the caravan with the ex for DC. It's nice to know I'm not the only one out their not big a gimp about exs. Big love to u

[leighb23]

Def not BU!! we had a van until a few years ago and told EVERYONE we weren't allowed to sublet. Which was true, doesn't mean you can't say it!!

[Sounbelievablydull]

Don't even think about it
My mum used to let people stay in her holiday house it was a disaster for her tbh
Left dirty cost her oil electricy etc
Once you say yes once to one person it's hard to turn back
I share a holiday house with my sister and brother and we just say quite truthfully that we don't let it because we are very proud of it and want to keep it nice

[rockcake]

No yanbu - end of

[JeanGenie23]

Of course YANBU, enjoy your caravan. My inlaws have a beautiful one on Barmouth Bay, my dd has enjoyed many a beach holiday there.