To not want anyone else using our caravan?

[Welshmaenad]

I have recently bought a caravan (static) in a very popular holiday spot (well, I've paid a deposit and will be settling the balance when it is sited and ready). The money has come from my DDad who recently passed away. He and my mum, who died 2 years ago, always planned to get a nice caravan when they both retired, sadly mum died before she took retirement so they never fulfilled their dream, so thus feels like a special thing to do with some of the money I have been lucky enough to inherit from them. It's a very nice site with excellent facilities and the caravan itself is pretty swish, brand new and was quite expensive - not bragging at all but just pointing out that it's a significant and quite special investment for me.

I am already getting people commenting that they would love to stay in it and giving me sob stories about how they haven't been able to afford a holiday in ages, etc. I know it probably sounds selfish but this is something I am doing for my family, not to give people free holidays. My DP used to live in this area and his DC lives here so he will be using it as a base to spend more time with the DC; I intend using it frequently with him and my own DC, and my ExH will be using it in his weekends with the DC too, potentially with his partner and her child who I both know and like. And frankly that's as far as I want it to go, the second bedroom in the vsn will be the kids room and they will have their own bedding etc, we will be keeping lots of personal possessions there for ease, and I don't want all and sundry sleeping in it, poking through our stuff and so on. We may host friends whilst we are also there but I don't want others using it when we're not. When I've told people this they seem really put out and insinuate I'm being selfish.

I'm not, am I? I feel like I need to be really strict from the start or it will be a slippery slope and I will end up providing free holidays for all and sundry. AIBU in wanting to keep it for ourselves?

[MrsJayy]

I used to have a static let it out a few times never for free mind you and stopped doing yanbu this is for you to enjoy just smille and say oh we have plans to spend whole seasons there or whatever

[MoreCoffeeNow]

We had one for 15 years. We said that if there was a free date people could rent it but at the commercial rate, because the site owners allowed no discounts apart from to family.

That worked.

[KathArtic]

Enjoy it for yourselves for a few years and then see how you feel. If you find there a long periods when its not in use it could by a nice little income for you to rent it. Keep the cost high to weed out the undesirables.

Hope you have some great times there

[Ifailed]

Why wouldn't you?
because you are putting the idea in their heads, rightly or wrongly, that there is holiday home sitting idle. Hence the hints and questions. Frankly if a friend of mine told me they had bought a 2nd home, and they clearly weren't there (as they are in front of me), I might wonder if its up for rental - why wouldn't you?

Of course it's the OP's property to do as she wishes, but surely can't be surprised in the interest.

[MrsJayy]

I also let mine out twice through the holiday park first time was fine second time it was trashed and we had to clain through our insurance

[expatinscotland]

Of course YANBU! Ignore hints entirely. Anyone bangs on about it you just say, 'Hope you can work something out soon.' If anyone is cheeky enough to outright ask and you just say, 'No, it's only for family.' You don't have to justify anything to anyone. It's your caravan for you to use as you see fit, not provide free holidays for people

'When I've told people this they seem really put out and insinuate I'm being selfish.

That's because they are pisstaking chancers. That's how they operate, by guilting people and making them feel bad. Don't fall for it.

'It's for family use only.'

[OurBlanche]

An ex colleague has a lovely caravan that she does rent out. She got very good at being deaf to requests for cheap/free stays... she just kept on talking, emailing the need to go to the online booking page and seeing if the weekend you wanted was available.

She paid a lot of money for that online page and always swore it was her best frined, cos it didn't cave in to sob stories or offer ridiculous discounts

Welsh pick a thing, almost anything really personal will do (e.g. vibrator) and say

"I'll let you stay in my caravan when you rent your vibrator out to the boss!"

Or just "Piss off, t'is mine all mine!!"

[InTheseFlipFlops]

If i was any good at searching i would find the thread where someone discovered their holiday home had been used for years by one family.
They had copied a key and went every year.

[Lolimax]

We also have a caravan, bought it this year, also in Wales. I see it as n extension of our home and also don't want other people using it. I haven't offered, and I suspect family are waiting to be offered but sorry no, ain't going to happen.

[expatinscotland]

'I might wonder if its up for rental - why wouldn't you?'

The kind of people who give her sob stories about not being able to afford a holiday, however, are not going to be the ones who want to pay commercial rent rate for it. And if you want to hire a caravan to rent in a particular park or area, wouldn't your first thought be to visit their website and find out how to hire a van?

[mrschatty]

Sounds lovely op
Yanbu to not want to rent. If anyone asks just said 'we have made the decision not to rent it out' and a decent person will leave it at that!

[peachypips]

I would let people use it if I trusted them and if I knew they couldn't afford a holiday.

[Charlesroi]

Could you pencil in - say - 4 weeks a year ish where you definitely won't be using it? Feb/Mar?
Charge 'em £75 a week for the utilities/rent and they leave it as they found it plus bring own bedding? These things ain't free after all - you have to pay service charges.
Other times it'll be in use by you or your ex and kids.

[QuintessentialShadow]

Very few people know that I have a holiday home in Southern Europe. It is not something dh and I talk about. Only close friends know we have it, and they have sometimes come to visit us there on our invitation. We have let one family borrow it, when their dd was diagnosed with severe vit D deficiency last winter. They left it spotless, as we knew they would, they are that kind of people. Another friend has a standing invitation to go whenever she wants to, but might never be able to find time and energy between her chemo and radiation therapy. The point is YOU are the boss here and you decide. I would never let somebody stay if the ASKED or felt entitled to go there, that would just piss me off.

Now I have heard that one particular uncle of mine knows about it, and is angling for an invite, but in his case, It will always be rented out - what a shame! I know he likes to party, and has left mess and devastation in other peoples holiday homes. It is YOURS. Enjoy it, and dont feel guilty.

[OhNoNotMyBaby]

Charlesroi The OP doesn't want to let it - so why are you suggesting that she does?

Op - of course you're NBU. It's yours! It's special to you. Keep it yours. simple.

[expatinscotland]

'Could you pencil in - say - 4 weeks a year ish where you definitely won't be using it? Feb/Mar? grin
Charge 'em £75 a week for the utilities/rent and they leave it as they found it plus bring own bedding? These things ain't free after all - you have to pay service charges.'

She doesn't want to. Why does she need to make excuses to these people? Just 'It's for use by family only.'

'I would let people use it if I trusted them and if I knew they couldn't afford a holiday.'

And? The OP doesn't want to and that certainly doesn't make her a bad person

[ParadiseCity]

OP I am sorry for your losses and it sounds like the perfect thing to spend your inheritance on. I would escalate my comments depending on how annoying these people are.... 'We aren't renting it out'
Or
'Hope you find a nice caravan'
Or for the total fuckwits.
'You better ask your parents to put you in their will then!' It's horribly insensitive for people to try and freeload out of something very personal and sad.

[DoreenLethal]

'Yes, it is £1000 a week plus a £1000 deposit. When shall I book you for?'
'Oh not interested any more, what a shame'

[MrsBobDylan]

So sorry to hear your parents never got to fulfill their dream. Don't waste another moment worrying about what to say-you really don't need people who are brass necked enough to hint about wanting to use it in your life Just, oh no it's not for rent or loan, then move away.

[Tiggeryoubastard]

Do not ever rent out through the site.

[expatinscotland]

'Yes, it is £1000 a week plus a £1000 deposit. When shall I book you for?'
'Oh not interested any more, what a shame'

People who have the brass neck to hint are the ones who, if she tells them this, will say, 'Oh, I was thinking mate's rates or £100. Will that do?'

So it's best to just say NO and keep it firm. 'It's for family use only.'

[Lweji]

YANBU.

I think it's perfectly fine for you to keep it free of commitments, should you suddenly want to spend a weekend there. Explain that to people.

Or just tell them you've had so many people requesting, that you don't feel comfortable refusing only some requests, or that you'd end up with a huge bill with all the people staying (water, electricity, etc) so you aren't saying yes to anyone.

Or that you were treating it as an investment as well, so you'd be happy to let it, but not to lose the potential income by making commitments. (they don't have to know if you are actually letting it or not)

You have quite cheeky friends, BTW.

[BabyGanoush]

Yanbu at all

But maybe don't rave talk about what a great caravan it is to all your friends

Bit late now, but if you don't want to share (fair enough), then keep a bit more quiet about it, a bit more low key.

[strawberrybootlace]

YANBU. In your shoes I would remain vague about the location to avoid unexpected visitors!

[Charlesroi]

OhNoNotMyBaby The OP doesn't want to let it - so why are you suggesting that she does?

I just thought that - for a very small (and unattractive) portion of the year - it would show willing, but in no way be seen as a free resource.