...to ask how much you spend on birthday gifts for your DC's friends?

[wheresmyfairygodmother]

Talking about their general classmates.

I used to spend roughly the equivalent of what they'd spent on inviting my child to the party, eg. for a soft play party I'd spend around £10.

Then my DC had a soft party and I couldn't believe the cheap tat some parents gifted! Have been unsure of etiquette ever since. I am constantly working to a budget so don't want to overspend, but I'm also curious what's the norm

£5-£7 is plenty. A book & small toy or arts & crafts ( good old Tk Maxx)
My Dd's (4 & 5) are just as happy with the really small/inexpensive gifts.

It's a real shame some parents feel pressure to spend stupid amounts of money on birthday gifts. Children should be taught to appreciate any gift they are given regardless of value.

Spending £30/£40 just seems a bit showy.

Anyway, generally for our parties, I make list of cheaper items and more expensive ones that people can contribute to, so everyone has options

For real, BusyMummy? You give out gift lists with your children's party invitations?!

I don't spend more than £10 for a child having a whole class party. Usually I just get them a Lego kit. Maybe not very imaginative but you can always have more Lego and it's hopefully unlikely to end up in landfill.
I think DS was invited to about 10 whole class parties last year and the cost of presents adds up!

One of DS's best presents was a set of foam bath letters. They probably weren't very expensive but he plays with them in the bath every day, using them to make pictures and patterns as well as spelling out words.

Yes, definitely not normal and we haven't come across it too often. We don't see it as a gift list as such, but more of a list of ideas, what the birthday boy would like. We wouldn't be bothered by the amount spent at all and usually set anything over £5 open for contributions, too. We find it helps really get the things our DS wants, often adding to a particular set he has, rather than a bunch of random things, even if some surprises are nice. :) All the items on the list are usually the things he has mentioned at some point before his party. We actually came to using it, when our friends were asking what to get and we often get frustrated not knowing what to get others.

We usually use the whatidlove.co.uk website, where you can add things online and also from the shops, and contribute towards something. It also helps sending out the thank you after the party as you know, who got what ;)

MuffyTheUmpireSlayer :
I understand that people find it unusual and it is only meant as a help, not an instruction... I guess I understand if some people couldn't overcome that and wouldn't come to the party... though it would be their loss as they are usually pretty fun ;)

KoalaDownUnder:
Yes, I add the link to the website on the invitation - takes a bit of work setting it up, but if it makes sure DC love their gifts, I think it is worth it... Also we have so many toys at home and several different sets already, so it is not too difficult to get something we already have or something from a set we don't have, which will make my life harder, when tidying everything up...

Pp