...to ask how much you spend on birthday gifts for your DC's friends?

[wheresmyfairygodmother]

Talking about their general classmates.

I used to spend roughly the equivalent of what they'd spent on inviting my child to the party, eg. for a soft play party I'd spend around £10.

Then my DC had a soft party and I couldn't believe the cheap tat some parents gifted! Have been unsure of etiquette ever since. I am constantly working to a budget so don't want to overspend, but I'm also curious what's the norm

It wasn't a typo, I actually think £40 is a reasonable amount to spend on a childs toy.

That's being very very l generous- do you get the same presents in return? Its certainly not the norm where I live. Somewhere between £5-£10 for classmates parties and about £15 for close friends.

I'm more offended by your use of the word 'gifted' than any present (or cheap tat) a child may receive. Be grateful for any present your child gets. Calling them cheap tat is just rude. I feel sorry for your child.

Christ Coco what income do you have as a family if you can spend £40 ona kid's party gift?! £40 is about a third of my weekly shop - should we just not eat for two days?! I'm very jealous - will you be friends with me!

I spend minimum £5 -£12 max but usually I find something £8-£10 but DD hasn't been to lots of parties so I've been lucky. If I had 3 children and at a party every other week it would have to be £5

Recently I bought what DD really liked at the shop since they are the same age her mum might not like it and see it as tat (I wouldn't) but so long as my daughters friend likes it.

I think it's so unfair to assume that from the outside that because people are wealthy they must have more money to spend. There are lots of people that come across wealthy but in actual fact all there money is tied up and they don't actually have as much as you would think to spend especially on a child you don't know.

For me them being at my DD party and her being surrounded by friends is enough I wouldn't mind if no one brought her a present, being there would be enough for her. I certainly wouldn't inspect who bought what so someone who spend over £10 wouldn't gain anything over someone who spent £5

When we are deciding what to to for birthdays, My 2 dds know thatthe celebration is part of their gift so we Buy them less ourselves if they're having a big do (a big do is probably about £120 in costs ) and if they just want to take couple of friends to cinema and for food the budget savings go back to gift fund as they won't be receiving as many gifts.
I'm usually surprised by the gifts they get and how much people spend, I probably spend £10 all in but the kids get to choose so I relinquish all responsibility 😁
And if Dp has to collect a gift en route gawd only knows what they turn up with! 😂

I've never tied it to the cost of the party. £5-8 usually, the occasional cheaper bargain, but from Y4 onwards it's more like £10 and up because they are now only going to parties of very good friends.

It's almost the opposite to your thinking I guess - I'm spending more when my 9 year old goes for pizza and a film than when my 6 year old goes to a way more expensive, whole class party with entertainer.

I also spend no more than £10 and no less than £5 - unless it's a real bargain, something at less than half price etc.

DD had a village hall party this year, with 33 guests. The presents were pretty much all at the same level as I would buy myself - one was very much more generous and a couple were perhaps a bit cheaper - but DD loved each and every one. DD had a lovely day & I was just really glad that so many people had given up 2 hours of their sunny Sunday morning to come & play with her (all 4/5 year olds so most parents did stay).

I wouldn't think judge someone who gave a £1 colouring book or a Poundland toy, I honestly wouldn't. The only ones I judge are those who don't bother to reply to the bloody invitation at all!

catherding me too-my DH has the unfortunate ability to spend £15 on something that looks like £3.50-worth... I usually go for in the region of £10.

If I see bargains I stock up, found a load of posh 'make your own' toy kits in January at £2 down from £15 so bought a massive pile. I also buy lots of board game type stuff from charity shops if it's still in plastic wrap.
Sometimes it's up to £5, but looks like more.

I spend as little as possible, especially for children who aren't particularly good friends of the DC (think all-class invites), regift regularly (when we've received duplicates the duplicate gets put in the present box) and buy multipacks of books from The Book People where the individual books cost about £1 each and then gift maybe 3 books as a present. I also buy multipacks of birthday cards or get the kids to decorate cards because cards cost a fortune and no child cares if they get a card that was 25p in a multipack or £2+ from a naice shop.

Having said all that appearing to have spent about £10 seems about normal round here.

£5
They get a ty beanie boo.
As they get older the gift will change.

Right from years ago, my DD has been given some crap presents so I don't worry about how I spend money on OPK's.

She received 2 hair clips once and a box of foam letters for the bath.....which had already been used. 😳

Between 5-15 pounds depending on a number of things including what time of the month it is and if I've just been paid. I do try and pick up bits and pieces in the sales though.

I dislike this comment by the OP. Sorry but children are children can be just as happy with a £1 colouring book than a £10 figure of a popular character. My daugter received an inexpensive sandwhich box last birthday and loved it!
I'm sure the attitude of 'cheap tat' eventually wears off on the child. Be grateful for your child having friends to invite to a party ☺

I usually spend £5-10 and let my DCs choose the gifts for their own friends (within reason) One thing I would never base the amount I spent on though would be the cost of the party. So their parents can't afford a lavish party so have a few games and a buffet etc at home so you buy a cheap gift but for the ones who are loaded and quite possibly have lots of expensive toys, you spend more? Doesn't seem fair to me.

Between £12 and £18 (ish).

We've just started at a new school (DS is in reception) and another mum mentioned that at an old school they had a system where everyone chips in £5 and the child gets one large present they really want (rather than filling up someone's house). I love the idea - seems so much more efficient.

I'm not sure if I'm just a bit rubbish at the whole gift thing myself but we have been really surprised by the amazing gifts people have chosen, and I love the fact that when they have a party people bring things I would never think to buy, one of dd2s friends always buys her amazing pj's which end up being her favourite but I was somewhat puzzled at first! 🙄
I think if you put a lot of time and effort into gifting it can be a bit hard to understand those like me that just hand over the budget to a 7 year old... 😂

I spend £7-£15 depending on what I can find/ how good the friend is. I recently bought a soft-play present which was some paper, stickers, colour pens and a nice hairband for school (which was £3 on its own). It didn't look much, and the child was not a close friend of my dc, so I hope the gift wasn't judged badly. If the items had been from the 99p shop, it would have been about a fiver, but where I got them was closer to £10. I always dread this as people may judge us as quite 'affluent' (we own our house and it is bigger than many in the area), but I don't work so things are a bit tight and we don't have a big disposable income.

FarAwayHills

I wouldn't class putting £40 in a childs card as generous, DS is 6 and he has never had a birthday party (his choice) like I said he has recieved unwanted gifts - some people think birthday gifts for children are suppose to be a surprise, for the past 2 years I've asked DS what he'd like for his birthday and at Christmas we sit down and write a letter to Santa Claus, that way there won't be any toys that he isn't going to play with.

So that's why I always put money in a childs car that way I know for sure they are going to buy something they actually want

DamsonInDistress

I just don't class £40 as a lot of money and course we can be friends

I suppose (for us) it does depends how well we know the child - most of the time about £10-£15 if it's a regular friend from school we see. We have a closer knit group of friends we see quite a lot more (play dates and such) and I've Spent maybe £20-£25 on their gifts.

About 10 pounds for children we don't know that well. Up to 20 pounds for really good friends that we spend lots of time with.

If someone who wasn't family or a very very close friend had given my child £40 I'd donate it to a charity and tell them I'd done so. It's a ridiculous amount to give to a classmate as a present.

The way I see it, there's 2 things children love about parties. 1: in the short term, seeing their friends. 2. in the longer term, playing / using their gifts. To anyone saying the latter doesn't matter, I personally think you're viewing things more as an adult who understands different personal situations rather than a child who sees none of that. Both things matter to them in different ways.

That's ironic, given that you are the one viewing presents as either decent quality or 'cheap tat'; unless your children are very different from all the ones I know, that's what kids don't see. And as I said before, mine love cheap tat. They used to keep all the little crappy bits of plastic that tend to come in party bags for years, literally.

Between £5 to £15. Depends on what's available / on offer when I'm shopping. Also depends on who present is for too.

I spend the same depending on whether it's a church hall party or an expensive soft play party.

€20

Kids coming to my children's parties give about the same.