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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to ask how much you spend on birthday gifts for your DC's friends?

206 replies

wheresmyfairygodmother · 09/09/2016 22:17

Talking about their general classmates.

I used to spend roughly the equivalent of what they'd spent on inviting my child to the party, eg. for a soft play party I'd spend around £10.

Then my DC had a soft party and I couldn't believe the cheap tat some parents gifted! Have been unsure of etiquette ever since. I am constantly working to a budget so don't want to overspend, but I'm also curious what's the norm Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
wheresmyfairygodmother · 09/09/2016 22:18

my DC had a soft PLAY party

OP posts:
scottishegg · 09/09/2016 22:19

Between £7 to £10. Sometimes £5 if I get a bargain!

Kr1stina · 09/09/2016 22:19

£15

Original poster
wheresmyfairygodmother · 09/09/2016 22:19

Oops sorry didn't mean to bold type that #novice

OP posts:
mrsmalcolmreynolds · 09/09/2016 22:20

Yep, capped at about £10 and not less than £5.

Planty18 · 09/09/2016 22:21

Like scottishegg

Mycraneisfixed · 09/09/2016 22:21

£10

multivac · 09/09/2016 22:22

You "couldn't believe the cheap tat some parents gifted"?

Heartwarming.

ShoppingBasket · 09/09/2016 22:23

I would spend about £10 and I am always on the look out for bargains! Presents he has received vary between pounds hop stuff and £10-£15 mark. However, my DC would be delighted with a packet of chewing gum. Spend what you can afford not to keep up with others.

chanie44 · 09/09/2016 22:24

I aim to spend about £10, but stock up on offers, so many presents cost £5.

We live in greater London and there is poverty in the area, so I know that people don't have much money.

MaddyHatter · 09/09/2016 22:24

£10

multivac · 09/09/2016 22:24

My kids, by the way, love cheap tat on the whole.

You're right, of course, though - that it's not about what the birthday child might enjoy. It's about how much the birthday child's parents have invested, and what they get back in return. Is there any way you could cleverly cut costs next year (some kind of mega-advance booking, perhaps)? You might even end up in profit!

Sprinklestar · 09/09/2016 22:26

£10 or so. But I always stock up when there's a sale on and have a few toys ready to go (cards too). I have two DC who seem to have a party to go to most weekends at the mo so it saves a few quid to bulk buy!

SpeckledyBanana · 09/09/2016 22:28

£5-10. If time is short I stick £10 in a card TBH.

icelollycraving · 09/09/2016 22:28

After ds had a party I had a rethink on gifts. I now spend £10. I used to spend more but I was overdoing it. He had mainly gifts that I imagine cost around £7-10. His best friend gave him a present from the poundshop. He didn't notice but I did. Spend what you can afford,kids don't pay much attention I don't think.

LittleWingSoul · 09/09/2016 22:28

Oh wow... I thought it wasn't really about the presents?!

Tink06 · 09/09/2016 22:29

Between £5 and £8 depending what I can get. Home Bargains sometimes has brilliant pressies for a fiver.

AddToBasket · 09/09/2016 22:31

About £7-8.

I don't think I'm being mean. I'd pay more but I wouldn't want any parents thinking they had to spend more on my DC. I generally get Duplo/Lego/Lego friends, the smallish sets.

Original poster
wheresmyfairygodmother · 09/09/2016 22:31

Thanks for all the helpful comments.

multivac no point dressing it up Hmm They weren't just cheap, but poor quality too and these are families I know are 'affluent' so it was a choice to buy cheap rather than if it were someone juggling finances, which I would not view the same way obvs. I juggle finances but still don't buy cheap! There are deals out there if that's someone's concern.

But it did make me wonder ever since what's everyone else doing. I don't want to overspend as that's less money for my own DC but I don't want to underspend either...

OP posts:
GoldFishFingerz · 09/09/2016 22:32

Well about £6 if it's a big class party and not close friends. £11 for the few close friends - what ever the party consists of. It's irrelevant wether it's soft play or a tea party at home.

BrightOranges · 09/09/2016 22:32

£5-£10 or sometimes re-gift DC's presents. It can get bloody costly otherwise.

Ilovewillow · 09/09/2016 22:38

About £10, unless they are a good friend who we are out of school a lot in which case £15!

icelollycraving · 09/09/2016 22:40

If I show ds the present & he sulks about not keeping it, I know it's a success.

multivac · 09/09/2016 22:43

Do your kids assess "quality" OP? Were they terribly disappointed by the post-soft-play haul?

I suppose if your children's friends' parents look at the present pile following a party in the same way you do, you might be right to be concerned. I suppose one solution might be to have a 'list', like people do for weddings, with every gift item costing exactly the same as a party place.

multivac · 09/09/2016 22:46

Oh and for what it's worth, the answer to your question is "as little as possible, as long as I end up getting something the recipient will enjoy".

I can't put an actual price on it, sorry.

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