...to ask how much you spend on birthday gifts for your DC's friends?

[wheresmyfairygodmother]

Talking about their general classmates.

I used to spend roughly the equivalent of what they'd spent on inviting my child to the party, eg. for a soft play party I'd spend around £10.

Then my DC had a soft party and I couldn't believe the cheap tat some parents gifted! Have been unsure of etiquette ever since. I am constantly working to a budget so don't want to overspend, but I'm also curious what's the norm

£15-£20 we live in a fairly affluent area though.

DS received presents about the same. Some obvious re-gifts (fine I've done that too), gift cards around £15 and hard cash the last time.

I see what the op is meaning. As I said, I used to overdo it. When ds started going to parties I really thought about the presents etc. Once they are going to them all the time,that slows! I was genuinely surprised at the present from his best friend.
The gifts ds got have mainly been played with. He just enjoyed the frenzy of presents after his party. I actually felt a bit embarrassed at what I'd given as it looked too much in comparison & a bit like I was trying too hard.

Spot on icelolly and a bit more eloquently summed up than me!

£5 - £10

I spend between £5-10 usually.
At my DC's recent party, one present (her favourite) came from the pound shop. Most people spent £5-10 (I think! Not always easy to tell, especially if people buy things in sales). One person spent about £30 on a brilliant Lego set! Now I'm wondering if I should spend that much when her DS has a party?!

I dunno... I just feel like throwing a party is for the sake of your own DC and for everyone to have fun, not to get a rebate on the cost of it through gifts!!! Really!

Depends on the party- if it's a few friends of 5-7 invited to their home,I will spend more than when it's a party for 20-30 kids in a venue/hall.

Really littlewing how very altruistic.

Do make sure you note "your presence is present enough!" on your DC's invites so the guests don't offend your viewpoint. I'm sure they'll all be delighted to respect your feelings

I am at people spending more on a gift for a more expensive party
Honestly it's about a decent ish gift that the child would enjoy. I spend about £8-10 and only give things I think my own DC would like to receive and I would be happy for them to play with. It doesn't matter if the party is a £20 pp go kart thing or a tea party play date - I would give a similar gift regardless. They go to a posh prep and no one spends more than this.

OP - you might want to look up a definition of 'altruistic'. I mean, just in case you plan another go at sarcasm.

Thank you multivac!

My friend was inviting the whole class to a hall based party, roughly 30 kids.

She spoke to all of the mums separately and told them that no present was necessary however if you wanted to contribute £5 to her daughter's "build a bear" (or whatever it was) that she was saving for that was also a lovely idea. Or to buy her a book.

She was thanked by the majority of people and they started to use this as the norm. However one woman took exception and blasted her with "I will spend what I bloody like. If I want to spend £15 I will!"

I personally try to get bargains something that might have cost £20 for £10. HUKD and home bargains are brilliant for this. So is ebay items from China. (just need to factor in 6 weeks delivery on this and these are more stock pile or Xmas gifts).

Usually £10ish though like everyone else look out for bargains and have been known to stock my present box up in January sales

£15 ish (private school and they tend to overdo the presents - I'm probably at the cheaper end but I refuse to spend more!)

I wasn't being sarcastic...? Who wouldn't be delighted if their DC came home with an invite saying 'no gifts', unless you love shopping for kids you don't know very well of course.

Altruistic = unselfish. Personally I'd say littlewing was appearing to be very unselfish but putting other people's emotional enjoyment ahead of materialistic goods. But I've a feeling we won't see eye to eye on that.

But thank you for both making your point (several times). It might not have added to my understanding of the original query but it has given me joy to imagine a "no gifts please" party request. I hope one of my DC is pals with littlewing's DC in RL

I should have said that I used to spend about £10, but I've upped it to £15 as that seems to be about standard . There are only 20 kids in the class and most parents only invite boys or girls ( easy way of cutting down numbers I guess ) so it's only about 6-8 parties a year at most .

If my child was in England where you have 35 or more kids per class, I guess I would spend less ,it would be too expensive .

Also I give spend exactly the same for any type of party - one friend to the house for tea and a DVD gets the same as expensive go karting party.

DD is only 5, so we're still managing to get away with an agreement between the parents that friends don't bring presents to parties. So far she's only really had parties with my friends' DCs, though, as she's quite shy and doesn't cope with big groups. I imagine it'll all change soon as she starts going to parties of DCs I don't know. But so far the "no presents" thing has worked - parents love it and DCs have never known any different.

Yes OP, I'd actually love that although people often don't like the idea of not bringing a gift... we struggle every Xmas and Bday cos my DH has a huge family and the kids are just inundated with gifts.

So add that haul to that of all invitees and it's just too overwhelming for the kids... but I get that that doesn't really answer your original Q, to which I guess my answer is £5 - £10.

Next party I may actually put a wedding style 'your presence is present enough' type thing on the invite though and see if it works!

People on low incomes end up feeling pressurised and embarrassed if the norm goes above £10, so it's in everyone's interests to keep the price below that I think. The important thing is that the birthday boy/girl unwraps something they'll enjoy using, having had a fun party with friends who care about them.

Around £7-£10, I usually get an activity set that comes with books, stickers and colouring stuff, play doh, book or book with figures, usually princess or super hero related as that what dd's friends are into. For her closer friends who know better have got specific Lego sets know they want. Will probably spend a bit more when party's are less popular (at moment whole class parties are normal) my daughter got lots of craft sets which goes down well in my house. Think generally everyone spends about the same

Not less than a fiver, but probably not more than about £7. Birthday parties can be expensive!

Not more than £10 but cheaper usually as I collect bargains throughout the year and have a stash put away that I check through to see if I have something suitable when DS gets an invitation.

About £10 for a "random" friend, £15 for a closer friend. Roughly.

£15 - £20

Usually something from the £ shop or even the 99p shop.