...to ask how much you spend on birthday gifts for your DC's friends?

[wheresmyfairygodmother]

Talking about their general classmates.

I used to spend roughly the equivalent of what they'd spent on inviting my child to the party, eg. for a soft play party I'd spend around £10.

Then my DC had a soft party and I couldn't believe the cheap tat some parents gifted! Have been unsure of etiquette ever since. I am constantly working to a budget so don't want to overspend, but I'm also curious what's the norm

My DD is still nursery-age, but I tend to get things that look about £10, but actually buy them in sales IYSWIM, so I actually tend to spend about £5-7.

If I see a good book remaindered in The Works, say, or a good book set in The Book People, I pick up a few to use as gifts, normally putting something else with them (pretty hair clips, crayons, etc.) so that the present costs me under a fiver but is still nice. When I see something good in the sales I stock up - last January I got some great half-price hair things for little girls in the John Lewis sale, and some great kids gardening sets reduced from £7 to £2 at Dotcomgiftshop - I'll put the hair things with a couple of books, and add some seeds and a little pot to the garden things and job done. I've also picked up great things in the ELC half price toy sales in the past - bubble makers, garden toys, craft sets and jigsaws half price for around a fiver.

I hope that these have gone down okay in the past - surely parents can't object to a book (which would be about £6-7 at RRP), plus a crafty thing or pretty set of matching hair things? If their DC have the book already they can always regift it (which is what I do too). I tend to think that a cheap but genuinely nice thing is the way to go. The last party that DD went to I gave a fuzzy felt set (£4 reduced from £8 in the M&S sale, but really cute, I had originally bought it for DD), plus some cute hair clips.

Most of my friends seem to do the same - a book plus something else or an inexpensive crafty set for less than £10.

I buy in loads of multicoloured Kraft wrap from Tiger and get a box of nice birthday cards from The Book People for the year, and that's me done for cards and wrap for a while.

Oh and I thought you all might appreciate a party gift anecdote! When I was young I once received (from a classmate I was friends with but not special friends with) a multipack of knickers in my age/size for a birthday present (big granny-style ones from Ethel Austin!) I must have been about 9 or 10. I thanked my friend profusely of course, but was very very puzzled (and worried for a long time that maybe it was some kind of snub - did the friend think my underwear wasn't nice or my parents couldn't afford to buy me knickers?) I puzzled for years over the strange knickers present...

It was only when I remembered it again 25 years later, buying presents for DD's friends (and reading the party present threads on here), that I realised that my friend's mum was not only not very well off at all, but had clearly forgotten to get a present and had grabbed the only thing she could find at the last minute (which must have been a multipack of cheap knickers she'd bought for my friend).

My parents were very middle-class and I was used to going with my mum to choose a birthday present for my friends from Marks and Spencer or WH Smith. My friend's family wasn't well off, in fact they probably struggled quite a bit looking back, but it hadn't occurred to me at the time that they probably couldn't afford to buy lavish presents for friends' parties.It's funny how time corrects your perspective on some things, isn't it!

About £20 to £25 is the norm at my dcs school, and that's what I spend. Where they have received vouchers, it's been for £20 on each occasion.

I aim for s fiver, I try and pick things like arty stuff or something a little different and one off to make if poss. If the child doesn't use it hopefully it can then be easily recycled as a gift elsewhere.

Around £25 seems to be the average here but I am not in the UK at the moment.

Only left the UK last year though and I'd say it was about £10-15 at DD's school there.

I am quite poor so £5 is my limit! I tend to pick up gifts when they are in the sale or similar.

For dds best friend I have been known to spend a bit more.

Maybe I'm not spending enough. DS (4) has 3 parties coming up. The 2 boys I got Stsr Wars/ Marvel hero masher toys £4.99 home bargains. The little girl is getting a. Crayola thing that was £7.99. I didn't like the pink stuff and couldn't work out what was good- I have a boy.

Sounds perfect and plenty Chris.

I think part of the reason our spend has gone up over the years is that I have present fatigue! When I started sending them to parties I was on mat leave and/or had more impetus to invest time in searching out bargains - I did the "spend 5-6 quid trying to make it look more like 10 quid" thing. It all cost petrol and parking charges too. Now, 5-6 years and several dozen parties later, I've tired of investing the time in hunting out nice but bargainous presents. I tend to buy them more on amazon or in toyshops for speed, and I pay a bit more for an equivalent gift.

I tend to spend a max of £10 on presents for classmates birthday parties.

As far as presents for my DC go, I'm more concerned that a decent number of invited children turn up to the party and they all have fun, than whether they bring a nice present or not. My worst nightmare would be something like a whole class party for DC where only one or two children appear. That would be far more upsetting for my child than unwrapping some "cheap tat".

Tenner in a card and a big bag of Haribos every time!

About £5-£10 here for general classmates, and slightly more for close friends from school. About £20-30 for our friends' children. We have quite a few nephews and two DCs of our own, so present buying feels like and endless and expensive task!

£10

£5 on general classmates and when they were younger and going to whole class parties, £10 on best friends - which it tends to be now they are older and going to smaller parties.

I find this thread really depressing. I didn't realise that parents of birthday boys/girls looked through their offspring's haul and assessed the gifts, ascribing monetary value to them. I could never afford much, but always put a lot of thought into gifts, trying to get something unique. Am I naïve?

£5-10, more if it's dd close friend or a very small party, like an outing for 3-4 friends. I work as a nanny and my boss regifts a lot of the presents she gets.

£5 when the dcs were little but for older kids £10. I used to stock up at the post Christmas sales every year which made a huge difference.

I stock pile gifts. For example when the kids were 4/5 I bought 20 paint your own piggy/car banks from eBay which worked out at £1.25 each. Also wrapped a bag of sweets with each so 2.25 per party. If sometimes my stock pile isn't relevant to the child/age I will spend £7-10. Best mates £15-30 depending on what I see that I know they would like

It's interesting the take by everyone on what to spend.

I too am from Greater London like another poster. Round here there is a mix of affluence.

I personally only spend £5 on gifts. thrifty shopping in sales throughout the year, etc this can be achieved. I don't think kids need loads spending on them. Kids tend to likeep what they have been given. we do regift if DS hasn't played with it in a year. I have a friend who can't afford to spend loads but told us she spends £20 on each school friend whether good friend or not. we told.her we dont spend that much and she looked shocked.

considering she knows me and my background I was surprised to think she thought I had £20 to spend on each childs present.

at the end of the day the thought counts. and looks can be deceiving. just because someone looks wealthy doesn't mean they are.

W hen DD was at Primary school then £10 was the norm.
Now she is in Seniors she has less parties so £15- £20 is about average.

Between 5 and 10. We also re gift and stock up in sales so £5 presents often look like they cost more.

Around £15 but I tend to walk around Toys r Us with my phone and try and price match. Have come away with some bargains before now!

£15 usually,so far never had any of our DC receive cheap tat as presents from any of they're friends.

I tend to get a lot in the xmas sales. Costs a lot less this way or tend to buy 2 for £15 etc.

I try & stock up in the sales so it probably works out at around £5 per present. If I can't find anything decent then I put £5 in the birthday card. Kids of all ages love money as it allows them to go on a shopping trip & get whatever they want.
For DD's best friends or my friend's children it's more like £10 - £20.
I never judge a parent/child on what present they give to DD on her birthday as even a box of malteasers is gladly appreciated.

Dd is 4. I normally spend 5 to 7£ but I do really try to choose something the child would like. I spend a bit more sometimes - eg for her best friend I spent 10 on a Little Mermaid as I knew she'd like it.

From what I can see, other parents spend around the same.