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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel emotionally blackmailed by School ?

207 replies

spornersunited · 09/09/2016 19:11

DS has just started YR2 (so age 6).

By the time we all walk through the door at 5.45 every evening DS is hungry, tired, and whining (he's up at 6am)

Todays letter home stated that there will be a weekly spelling test and spellings should be practiced and recorded in his spelling record book every day and signed by a parent apparently if this home work isn't completed they will loose 'golden time' and made to do the practice then.

Whilst I fully support the school and my child's education there will be days that trying to do battle and force a tired whiny 6 year old to do spellings will be counter productive.

To put it into perspective both me and DP work full time don't get home until 5.45 pm which then only leaves 1 hour and 15 mins to get evening meal cooked & eaten , DS bathed ,teeth cleaned, story hear about his day etc before he settles down to sleep at 7 pm.

AIBU to think that the threat of my child being effectively singled out and punished if I don't facilitate this home work every single day (for the reasons stated above) is emotional blackmail ?

OP posts:
Original poster
spornersunited · 09/09/2016 22:09

sorry if i've missed it, but why can't whoever has him after school do it with him occasionally

Because its not 'occasionally' its expected every single night (with proof)

OP posts:
onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 09/09/2016 22:12

We had this too with both my DS - I didn't agree with homework at that age and still don't. I practised spellings once or twice a week with them over breakfast or at the weekend and they sometimes did okay in the weekly test and sometimes not. I didn't worry about it too much.
They are 15 and 17 yrs old now and both spell perfectly - clearly my tardiness as a parent made little difference. YANBU.

Seryph · 09/09/2016 22:16

Get DC to spell the words out loud to you, and you write them down. It'll take half the time. Write at the bottom: 'Mummy/Daddy scribed due to time constraints, words were said aloud and have been practised during the week.'

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 09/09/2016 22:20

50 words every freaking night! So altogether he has to write out each word 25 (or 35) times.

Bloody hell!

That is beyond ridiculous!

Sara107 · 09/09/2016 22:28

Unfair for the child to lose golden time. In dD's school that is the punishment for bad behaviour, parents not having time to do homework is not the child misbehaving. I agree with op, this is to much for such young children. Other European countries do not have such long school days, or pile so much formal learning onto young children and they score as well or better in the international league tables. There is no real evidence that this sort of intense learning makes any difference to the child's educational outcomes. My sil is head of a primary school and doesn't believe that any homework is useful for primary children - but they set it anyway because apparently parents complain if there is no homework! Push back op, and tel the school every evening just isn't possible. There must be other working parents surely?

Borntorunfast · 09/09/2016 22:30

50 words a night?? For all those snotty posters saying "why can't you spare 5 mins", at age 6 my DD was so tired after school when I tried to get her to read or write she'd throw the books at me! She could only manage homework at weekends - when she'd happily read and write.

It's excessive and, as all the evidence shows, entirely pointless at this age. I had no homework until secondary. A first class degree, an MA with distinction and an MBA, plus seven published books, all followed. What came first was a life long love of reading, something my kids have picked up due to us reading together every night.

That's all they need. Certainly not 50 spellings a night. Poor kid.

CinderellaFant · 09/09/2016 22:54

50 a night? Or 10 a night over 5 days?

DS is 6 and gets 10 spellings a week- these have to be written out each night and they get a spelling test on a Friday. He has to write a sentence for 5 of the spellings. He also gets a reading book each night and a written homework each night- one night a maths worksheet and the next a literacy worksheet.

He is currently in primary 3 (we are in Northern Ireland) but it has been like this since he was in primary 1, so 4 years old!

I thought this was the norm?

catkind · 09/09/2016 22:55

50 words to write, every single day? ridiculous. Even at secondary homework was never set that had to be done on a particular night. Kids are allowed and should be encouraged to have lives outside school too, and should be able to do homework at a time to suit them.

I suspect in most cases this will do more for their handwriting than their spelling.

You can write out practice/practise a hundred times and you still won't know which to use when. What you need to know is that it follows the same pattern as advice/advise.

MindSweeper · 09/09/2016 22:57

I really dislike this homework business. I don't think there's any need for it until they go to high school. It just seems like needless jumping through hoops.

I understand if it encourages parents to work with their children after school, but they're so small and young, they've had a long day anyway and there's not much time after school to do family stuff, eat, have a bath, chill out for a bit, socialise with family.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 09/09/2016 23:00

You know you can get computer programs that copy handwriting.......

Seriously though - can you get him to do it - once - over the weekend - when he isn't tired and see how long it takes. Thinking about my (highly academic) 6 year old I'm thinking it will take her maybe 30 mins.

No 6 year old should be doing 30 mins of writing a night.

Ditsy4 · 09/09/2016 23:40

My Year 3 and Year 4 spelling groups start next week. I give them ten words a week with six spaces, Mon - Fri and one at the weekend. I think little and often works rather than twice a week. Writing the words helps children remember spellings. I spend time writing the words, photocopying and I buy give out certificates and prizes ( out of my pocket) to encourage children to learn. Last year more than half my group ( 25) didn't bother to learn them. Some wrote them all in the first day I could tell because they only managed to get a few right. Some children wrote them, learnt them and wrote their five sentences. Some wrote more than five and I had some lovely funny sentences that made me laugh. Thank you to the children and / or their parents for learning them. I hope it helps you for the rest of your life.
I can't believe the teachers on here that are agreeing. I wonder if you are Secondary or Primary?

SimplyLovely · 09/09/2016 23:44

My DD has 10 spellings, 2 reading books, bit of maths, bit og english and topic homework every week. Just started year 2. Help him do what he can OP. If not sign his book anyway?

Ditsy4 · 09/09/2016 23:47

Why on earth would it take 30 mins a night?
OP doesn't say in the original post how many spellings unless I have missed it elsewhere as I only read the first couple and a few on p. 5. I give ten a week. They are supposed to write them every night so ten words x 6 nights. Yr 2 s may have less.
Yr 2 have SPAG tests by the way.

bumsexatthebingo · 09/09/2016 23:55

The op says her ds has to write each of the 10 words 5 times every night so 50 words per night. Easily 30 mins for a 6yr old and possibly more for one who struggles with writing. My nearly 9yr old doesn't have anywhere near that much homework.

Foslady · 10/09/2016 00:02

But you don't have to be there for it OP - it's a system called LACAWAC - look and cover and write and check. He can take 10 mins at the childminders on his own doing this and the you have a quick look whilst dinner is cooking and see if there's any particular word giving issues and sing spell it with him

MindSweeper · 10/09/2016 00:04

Why should he have to? He's 7. Is being at school for all those hours not enough?

Foslady · 10/09/2016 00:13

I'm an old gimmer and I had spellings from the age of 5, why can't children have them now?Confused

Joanna0685 · 10/09/2016 00:14

why not spend an hour or two on a weekend doing it

Ditsy4 · 10/09/2016 00:16

Ah I have been back to have a look and I had missed it. It is not 10 a night. Still I wouldn't expect it to take 30 mins a night. Why don't you get him to do 10 a night and 50 at the weekend. At least that way he would cover some each night.

IAmNotAWitch · 10/09/2016 00:20

What day does he get the homework?

My kids both get theirs on a Friday to be handed in on a Friday.

They sit down on Friday afternoon/evening and smash out the whole weeks work so that they can forget about it.

Works for us.

Italiangreyhound · 10/09/2016 00:23

YANBU. Sounds like an utter nightmare. I can't imagine this is going to help develop your little lad into a rounded, happy, educated individual. More likely a stressed and sad little boy.

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/11140668/Homework-damages-primary-age-pupils.html

Canyouforgiveher · 10/09/2016 00:30

Initially I thought you were being unreasonable but 50 words a night - it would have taken my kids easily 30 minutes to write out 50 words.

There is absolutely no evidence that homework for a 6 year old is in any way beneficial and even if it were, any tiny benefit would be completely wiped out by the impact on family life and evening routine.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 10/09/2016 00:31

Look. We all have to go through this. All of us

It's a parents job

Just get on with it like the rest of us have to?

wasninah · 10/09/2016 00:33

I agree OP. I'm a primary teacher. Spellings in that volume sound dull enough to be counter productive. I agree spellings have a place but at age it is vital to retain a sense of the exciting possibilities that writing offers. As for the poster whose 6 year old had to learn words like cat - utterly nonsensical. Good phonics teaching makes regular cvc words as simple as this easy for children to write correctly at age 4, without the need to memorise their spelling.

ScarfForAGiraffe · 10/09/2016 00:37

That's not really fair mum. Evidence points to most homework (other than reading) being pointless. Worse than that it can put a child off learning of they're tired and it's yet another thing to do.

I managed oxbridge quite fine without real homework until secondary.

Id rather mine didn't get homework. As mn shows too schools differ wildly so I font see why everyone should just see it as necessary.

I strongly disagree with losing breaking/lunch as our junior school appears to be doing according to my daughter :(