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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel emotionally blackmailed by School ?

207 replies

spornersunited · 09/09/2016 19:11

DS has just started YR2 (so age 6).

By the time we all walk through the door at 5.45 every evening DS is hungry, tired, and whining (he's up at 6am)

Todays letter home stated that there will be a weekly spelling test and spellings should be practiced and recorded in his spelling record book every day and signed by a parent apparently if this home work isn't completed they will loose 'golden time' and made to do the practice then.

Whilst I fully support the school and my child's education there will be days that trying to do battle and force a tired whiny 6 year old to do spellings will be counter productive.

To put it into perspective both me and DP work full time don't get home until 5.45 pm which then only leaves 1 hour and 15 mins to get evening meal cooked & eaten , DS bathed ,teeth cleaned, story hear about his day etc before he settles down to sleep at 7 pm.

AIBU to think that the threat of my child being effectively singled out and punished if I don't facilitate this home work every single day (for the reasons stated above) is emotional blackmail ?

OP posts:
dimots · 09/09/2016 20:04

I would refuse to do it and write a letter stating that this is my decision and that they are not to punish my child for it. For those who say that this is the type of school you've chosen - most of us don't get a choice - we go to our closest school with spaces.

Metalguru · 09/09/2016 20:05

Ffs. Some of these responses are so sanctimonious. Six years old. What the hell is going on when six year old children can't get an education within the time they are at school? How many people in their forties now had homework other than reading every night? Or any night, I had none until I was about 8. Are the next generation of doctors, barristers, scientists going to be somehow better equipped educationally for being bombarded with homework at six years old? I doubt it. My kids were not doing homework at that age after a full day at school, they were playing outside, drawing, watching telly, painting. And they are doing just fine. Homework for ks1 was voluntary in those days!

Waltermittythesequel · 09/09/2016 20:06

I just don't get why you wouldn't comply with fairly simple rules.

But like I said, it's standard here for children of this age to be doing regular spellings, at least in all the schools I know about.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 09/09/2016 20:06

YANBU OP - simply knowing the spellings for a test should suffice. Writing them out everyday, and a parent signing them off is OTT (did I understand that right?)

He's 6.

FFS.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 09/09/2016 20:08

OP, this is a silly requirement. It's unnecessary but unfortunately it's the way education is going. Unrealistic curriculum for such young kids, foisted upon us by this government.

My DS1 got 2 level 6 SATS and 5 in the other. They had a weekly spelling list. He got in to a grammar and is doing well in yr 8. They have now changed the curriculum and his poor brother in yr 6 finds all this fronted adverbial nonsense ridiculous, as do I (as do, I suspect, the teachers.)

I find daily spelling lists unnecessary, but on the other hand if the test is only weekly then surely putting in a good session at the weekend would get the same result as, say, learning 2 or 3 spellings each day? If you think it would, I would just tick it as done daily.

Waltermittythesequel · 09/09/2016 20:08

I'm in Ireland, to whomever asked.

Couchpotato3 · 09/09/2016 20:08

Does he really need to be up at 6am every day, and tired and whiny after school on a daily basis? Doesn't sound very nice for him. The fact that you are struggling to find 10 minutes a day to do some spellings says more about your lifestyle than it does about the school's expectations. Time for a re-think?

Middleoftheroad · 09/09/2016 20:10

OP I think you've had some harsh responses as this isn't a competition. You asked for advice.

It is a lot for small children esp with full time work. It was same for us.

My two would do spellings etc in car and weekend.

Can I ask why DS is up at 6 though if you don't go til 720? That's a long time. Perhaps he can do it then?

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 09/09/2016 20:10

OP, this is a silly requirement. It's unnecessary but unfortunately it's the way education is going. Unrealistic curriculum for such young kids, foisted upon us by this government.

^ That.

Unfortunately, you'll probably have to abide by it, as schools are all powerful and run like businesses these days. I have found this out to my cost.

DixieWishbone · 09/09/2016 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kookiekookie · 09/09/2016 20:11

Fake it?

Msqueen33 · 09/09/2016 20:14

We've just been given these books today. I've got three kids. The one with the spelling book has autism. So I have to read for twenty minutes with my eldest (8) and read with my six year (who has autism) and do spellings aswell as dealing with my autistic toddler. I'm dreading it. I'll try but the older two at school do need some down time.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 09/09/2016 20:14

Yes, that's a good point. Age 6 is the prime age to be doing after school activities and hobbies. It helps them grow as a person. Makes them rounded little people. More of the same of what they did in school does not.

Bountybarsyuk · 09/09/2016 20:15

I find these expectations ridiculous, and whilst many of the parents on this thread will be prepared to jump through these hoops to please the teacher (note it won't actually improve spelling for all children as many children do not learn very well by this repetitive rewriting, my dd for one), there will be others who don't do it, for many reasons, and mean their children are already singled out aged 6.

My dd couldn't learn spellings like this as she has a specific learning difficulty, and after two years of tears, getting 1 out of 10 in her tests and all round frustration, I just told the teacher we were no longer practicing the given far too hard spellings at all. I then bought a proper spelling programme that took her back to basics and worked on my own with her when she was not tired and at her own pace.

I get they can't offer individual tuition, but threatening little kids with loss of golden time for something out of their own control and not proven to benefit them is really awful. Some of these methods have no integrity- do this because I say so, not because it works well or it's fair.

HanYOLO · 09/09/2016 20:15

YANBU

It is an excessive expectation for a 6 year old.

In your position I would arrange to see the teacher and explain that their expectation is not possible but that (should you wish) you will look at the spellings at weekends with your child. Personally, I do not agree with homework for very young children and none of my kids' teachers have ever been insistent.

Spellings revision every night and loss of golden time for non compliance seems to me like the plan of an inexperienced teacher s*ing themselves about imminent SATs.

CancellyMcChequeface · 09/09/2016 20:15

YANBU. This is unnecessary micro-management by the school. I don't agree with homework for KS1 children, but if they are going to set spelling homework it should be 'learn these words for test on Friday.' Up to you how often they're looked at. Some children are naturally good spellers and could memorise the lot in one session, and others need lots more time and support.

OP, it sounds like your family has a very busy schedule and at the age of six a little bit of family time in the evening is much more important than homework! The school's expectations are unreasonable, and children missing golden time for something like this is completely unfair.

I don't know when all this early primary homework came in. I didn't have any homework until I was nine years old. A full day at school is long and tiring enough for most six-year-olds!

Katiepoes · 09/09/2016 20:16

This is the kind of thread - both OP and some of the responses that make me happy I do not live in the UK. My six yearold gets no homework at all, and won't until she's at secondary. Never mind weekly spelling tests - they only start teaching them to read this year. I'm no help I know but I don't think you are unreasonable, far from it.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 09/09/2016 20:16

I would feel no guilt in faking it. The important thing is that he knows his spellings - not that he has written them daily and had them signed by a parent.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 09/09/2016 20:18

Oh, and the other important thing is that you don't kill his enthusiasm for school work at this tender age.

So happens, my dd can learn her spellings in one sitting - what would be the point in making her write them out every day?

user1471552005 · 09/09/2016 20:18

Part of being a parent is facilitating homework, IMO.

Agreed.

longdiling · 09/09/2016 20:19

Couch potato makes a good point op. It's all your fault with your ridiculous 'lifestyle'. You or your dh need to give up work so you have more time before and after school to drill spellings into your 6 year old. You can't possibly believe keeping him fed and housed is more important than getting good levels on his sats. Where are your priorities?

Alwaysmeadulting · 09/09/2016 20:20

I think it is too much. I know my kid would struggle. I thought that learning spellings/tests had been shown to be not very effective? Certainly didn't help mine. They learnt them but never used the correctly spelt versions in written work although aced the tests!

clam · 09/09/2016 20:20

Judging by the number of posters on here who cannot differentiate between practise and practice, it rather indicates that maybe people should take spelling mastery in school a little more seriously.

Alwaysmeadulting · 09/09/2016 20:21

I think homework is pointless up until yr 6 too!

suspiciousdelicious · 09/09/2016 20:21

Tell the school its not on. Its discrimination. Favouring the kids of parents who do not work full time and do have the time. As a sahm/student I pick up my son at 3.45 walk home. I try to spend 15 to 20 minutes talking to him and getting him changed- this helps him calm down because school gets him a bit wound up. I have to get his dinner on the table by 5pm so he will do a poo at 6pm (weird i know but its a long story) then have a shower at 6.15pm. Getting ready for bed at 6.45 more conversation -convincing him that the blue pyjamas are not itchy- then at 6.55 I will put him into bed and speak softly and occasionally we read to each other. If he has been really good or is very mucky or has grazes on his knees he will have to have a bath and that takes even longer. This week his daily reading has been done on the way to school and only because dh has been able to drive us. His school have a similar policy to enforce parental participation My point is that
all you other mothers can stick it
I am foooking knackered.
YANBU xx

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