AIBU to feel emotionally blackmailed by School ?

[spornersunited]

DS has just started YR2 (so age 6).

By the time we all walk through the door at 5.45 every evening DS is hungry, tired, and whining (he's up at 6am)

Todays letter home stated that there will be a weekly spelling test and spellings should be practiced and recorded in his spelling record book every day and signed by a parent apparently if this home work isn't completed they will loose 'golden time' and made to do the practice then.

Whilst I fully support the school and my child's education there will be days that trying to do battle and force a tired whiny 6 year old to do spellings will be counter productive.

To put it into perspective both me and DP work full time don't get home until 5.45 pm which then only leaves 1 hour and 15 mins to get evening meal cooked & eaten , DS bathed ,teeth cleaned, story hear about his day etc before he settles down to sleep at 7 pm.

AIBU to think that the threat of my child being effectively singled out and punished if I don't facilitate this home work every single day (for the reasons stated above) is emotional blackmail ?

We don't bother with homework at primary school. My children exceed in their assessments. I think children should be able to relax after school.

Didn't expect so many replies.

Good suggestions re trying in the morning but as we have to get 4 of us up & out of the door by 7.20 am I really cannot guarantee that I'll achieve this 5 days a week .

The letter basically states ( in bold) that the school wants evidence that this has been done every single day and what the consequences for your child if this isn't done.

My other DS 1 & 2 also went to the same school and other than a reading book there was no pressure to do daily homework for 6 year olds.

I think it is awful to punish children with the removal of golden time, for something that is out of their control. They are only 6 so will need a parent's help. It is not their fault if their parent, for whatever reason, doesn't facilitate them doing their spellings.

DD in Year 2 here too. Bath every other night, and we do spellings in the car in the morning.

It's the fact that it is daily which gets me. Honestly what has changed that children at that age need to be doing so much homework?

Believe: The curriculum has changed, and the standard required of each child has changed.

Stick the list up somewhere, ask him to spell you one word at breakfast each day and remember to sign the book?

I think it is awful to punish children with the removal of golden time. I agree with this where homework is concerned. There's so many factors in the home lives of some children it's unfair to take golden time away.

Whilst I fully support the school Well, actually, you don't. They're asking for your support right here, right now, and you're quibbling about it.

Can he not practice while dinner is cooking?

Can it be done out loud on the walk to school, or in the car. If you're driving you could record a few spellings on a video that he could watch a few times. I'm trying this with DS (14) and his German. He groans, but it's quite a good use of dead time.

Tell them to get lost. There is no academic evidence that setting homework in primary school does any good. Cite the work of John Hattie.

visible-learning.org/2014/09/john-hattie-interview-bbc-radio-4/

I don't do homework with my kids unless they come up to me and genuinely want to do something out of interest.

Another teacher here. Albeit secondary.

I have enough trouble getting my two to do their homework once a week, let alone every day!

I agree with do what you can, maybe in the mornings and just sign the diary.

Sorry but it's not down to childminders to do homework. I have seven children ranging from 19 months to nine years after school....who keeps an eye on the other children whilst spellings are being done?
My own children had to wait until I had finished work till I did homework with them, so I'm not going to sit with other children and do homework with them!
Surely you have weekends to do it? Run through the spellings several times over the weekend then write them out on bits of paper, stick them on the kitchen cupboard doors, and do them every time you are in there.You don't have to actually sit at the table with them to do spellings.

I'm a TA, I do agree that loss of Golden Time for a 6 yer old who, if tired, doesn't remember why he has lost the bloody thing, seems harsh.

You don't have to learn all the spellings every day. If there are 10 spellings learn 2 a day.

Take a snack for him to eat on the way home to stave off the hunger pains.

This really anal but....

With my dcs I used to photocopy their spellings and sellotape them to the back of the car seat in front of them (ie passenger or driver side) and also on the bathroom mirror. They seemed to learn by osmosis in the car (only a v short journey) and whilst they were brushing their teeth. They almost always got full marks in their tests and I could tick the boxes which confirmed they had done their spellings. Job done.

Unfortunately when you teach your kids that they can ignore what they are asked to do by their teachers, that lesson can't easily be unlearned. Those saying they ignore homework are storing up trouble.

No you are not being unreasonable at all. I am a teacher and I get about the same amount of time to spend with my 5 year old each evening. We don't do reading or spellings every night. They are at school all day, that is more than enough time for work. I would just speak to the the teacher, he is your child at the end of the day so you make the decisions. Every family is different and schools need to recognise that and have flexibility.

It's a weekly test, if his spelling is going well and he's coping you don't need to practice every night do you?. If he's struggling to master some things then you need to find strategies to encourage enthusias

I'd lie and write in the book every night wihtout a second thought. I'd do the actual practise whenever was convenient to me, breakfast is a really good suggestion, mine always did better over breakfast.

The thing is the 'spelling record book' is formatted into 5 days where the child practice writes their spellings each day making fraud or not doing it daily impossible.

When did this expectation for homework at such a young age start ? other than voluntary reading I never had any and neither did DS1 & 2 and we have all managed to attain a perfectly acceptable standard of education .

Sorry but I think you're just moaning and making excuses. You don't appear to be any busier than most families.

Lol Damson
Welcome to my world OP as a working SM of 3 DC who went to breakfast and after school.club 3 days a week at primary school. The after school.club didn't do homework spellings etc. They don't have time to do that with 30+ children! Quiet time without direction is really 'drawing time' !!
If I were you OP I'd presign spelling practice for each night the week before for "golden time rules" (I used to do practice with each DC in car on way to /from drop off school care so we still did it! Heck even if DC just spelt one word out to you... If challenged saying we religiously practice in car... Or sign it night before if it becomes an issue. .) And I read with mine as much as I could (writing in page they got to, even if it was only 2 pages..)

Absolutely completely an utterly inappropriate for a child to lose golden time for a parents inability/unwillingness to do the homework. I would be complaining loudly about this even if I had the time to do the work.

I think whoever has him straight from school should be doing homework with him.

6year olds shouldn't have homework. I agree throw some spellings at him in the car on the way there and sign to
Say he did it!