AIBU to feel emotionally blackmailed by School ?

[spornersunited]

DS has just started YR2 (so age 6).

By the time we all walk through the door at 5.45 every evening DS is hungry, tired, and whining (he's up at 6am)


Todays letter home stated that there will be a weekly spelling test and spellings should be practiced and recorded in his spelling record book every day and signed by a parent apparently if this home work isn't completed they will loose 'golden time' and made to do the practice then.

Whilst I fully support the school and my child's education there will be days that trying to do battle and force a tired whiny 6 year old to do spellings will be counter productive.

To put it into perspective both me and DP work full time don't get home until 5.45 pm which then only leaves 1 hour and 15 mins to get evening meal cooked & eaten , DS bathed ,teeth cleaned, story hear about his day etc before he settles down to sleep at 7 pm.

AIBU to think that the threat of my child being effectively singled out and punished if I don't facilitate this home work every single day (for the reasons stated above) is emotional blackmail ?

[MrsHam13]

That is ALOT of writing his words out.

My dd is six. She has eight words to learn each week. This week her homework was - look, say, cover and write spelling words three times. So on Monday I tested her on them and she knew them. Wednesday she wrote them out. Homework went back Thursday and I tested her in the morning. Then Friday asked her again. She had her test Friday and got them all correct. Same as last week. Last year I didn't realise she had tests until half way through so we were just writing them out like the homework said. She was only getting one or two correct. Since we have started verbally going over them as well she has got seven or eight ever since. There's no need to write them that many times. I'd speak to the school.

My daughter also had to write a sentence for each word. Do a maths sheet. Maths homework task. Read her reading book and write five adjectives to describe the main character. So wasn't just the words.

[PrimalLass]

Have they had an inspection and been pulled up for poor spelling? Our school went a bit nuts about spelling and tables after something like that.

[Trifleorbust]

Probably worth pointing out that it will not be the teacher who sets the homework policy. She may not agree with this frequency for a 6 year old any more than you do.

[AnnPerkins]

10 words 5 times each PlaymobilPirate.

[BoffinMum]

Rtft Playmobil. Kid is too tired and the task is educationally pointless for a 6YO anyway.

[AnnPerkins]

I would be amazed if many y2 children would happily sit and write 50 words out every night after school. It would have taken DS...well I don't know actually because he wouldn't have got through it. I do know it would have put him off writing and spelling for the rest of time though.

I'd have to go and talk to the teacher about this. Or send an email/letter if you can't get away from work. It's a ridiculously impossible task with a draconian consequence.

[2ndSopranosRule]

Actually I think you should be asking the school how best to support the homework policy.

When dd1 was in y1, the reading, spellings, homework and online maths and English activities were too much. At that age they need a fair bit of help. We simply couldn't do it all due us both working. I spoke to the teacher who was mortified that we were struggling. She was so nice about it and agreed to work on a solution.

The school has also set up a homework room at after school club.

Dd1 is in y4 now and doesn't need the same extent of parental input (other than "do your spellings now") but at 6 they do.

[Shakey15000]

YANBU about the level of homework at that age. Or the "punishment". I'd speak to the school.

[PlaymobilPirate]

You're making a bigger deal out of it than needs be. It's 10 a night, not 50

Lots of people have said that whoever has him after school can help him. You're ignoring that / not saying who has him

It's really not that big a deal

I think losing golden time is shite so I'd challenge that but if he has homework you need to put some effort into arranging him doing it

[IAmALeafOnTheWindWatchHowISoar]

Napqueen it's not just five a day. The OP is saying it is ten spellings written In the spelling book five times each day. To be signed off by the parent each day.

OP I feel for you, that is a stupid amount of homework and very counter productive.

[Trifleorbust]

Questioning whether being able to spell is important at all is, to be honest, pretty facile. Why not throw all knowledge out of the window and just plug yourself into your smartphone? Jesus. Not being able to spell will make your child a) fail their exams b) feel stupid c( look stupid. By all means question the frequency of the homework, but if they can't spell most common words by Y6, their education has been severely compromised. Those parents who 'don't bother' with homework should be checking that they are right when they say their child is ahead and so it doesn't matter

[cansu]

I think I would be tempted to go into school and discuss it then. Say nicely that you are unable to complete the book of spellings as your ds is too tired after such a long day. Promise to practise the spellings on the weekend and when you can during the week. If necessary make your own little record book up where you write in the day and leave space for the practice. Make it clear that this is your decision and that you do not want your ds being punished via golden time.

[BoffinMum]

NapQueen, the school is asking the OP to organise her family's life during the week around a daily piece of 'busywork' which is educationally unsound. I think she is right to protest.

[BoffinMum]

Actually this needs raising with the school. The policy is draconian, not evidence based st all, punishing children for homework infractions at 6 is ill advised, and are you even sure the HT and governors are aware of what is going on?

Where did the teacher train?

[NapQueen]

Four pages in OP and you have yet to address the numerous suggestions that whoever provides the wrap around care could support with this.

And repeatedly saying "it's 50 words" just makes you sound melodramatic. It's 5 a day. Nice easy biteseized chunks.

It really isn't schools problem that you have a lifestyle which forces your kids out the door at 7.20am and home by 6pm. How will this work when he is in y6 or starting secondary school and has actual hours of homework?

[Tuktuktaker]

It's 10 words written out 5 times each night.
Otherwise, I join the chorus of those who believe homework for 6 year olds is counter-productive, unless to get children used to the burden of homework in secondary - but the last couple of years of primary should be when children are eased gently into the world of homework. (Not a professional, just a mother!)

[MapleandPear]

I'd be having serious words with the school, OP, that kind of pressure is ridiculous for a six year old. I'd also write a note in the homework book to say that you will try to practise the spellings with him twice a week but any more than that is putting undue pressure on your son and family life and is entirely counterproductive.

Also what about fitting in reading to him/hearing him read? That can be hard enough- we were only able to hear DDs read two or three times a week at that age (though they had bedtime stories since being tiny babies), and they are doing very well at school in KS2/KS3.

[NightCzar]

Are you really, really sure, OP, that it's not that he should write the 10 words once a night, so a list of 10 words, written out 5 times over the week?

If it's 50 words a night then you won't be the only parent up in arms. We are home from school by 3.30pm and I wouldn't find time for that.

Whatever the outcome, I'd also ask for the next week's words on a Friday. Then he can at least get two days' worth out of the way.

[MetalPetal86]

An interest in the world. I ought not to post at 4.30 am.

[MetalPetal86]

As far as I am aware there is no proven link between homework at primary age and higher attainment. Imo spellings every evening is too much. Much better to read with him. My son (same age) struggles to write his spellings once a week; I am an English teacher and completely unconcerned. The ability to learn spellings is important but other things (talking about your day together/reading) are much more important in fostering a interest in the world, learning and modes of communication. All Imo of course.

[Tink06]

Yanbu. I think kids get far too much homework at primary school. Its also really unfair to lose golden time ( or give rewards) to those who do it. Have a word with the teacher.

[Canyouforgiveher]

Canyou we all might have spellcheck (except on MN!!) but it takes twice as long to go back tbrough an article correctong the spellings than to juat type it correctly surely? And if you can't spell you may correct it to the wrong word meaning the comprehension will be affected.

Fair enough but I just notice that spellings are a huge thing in teaching small children (had 3 of them go through it) and I wonder if there is any evidence that it helps children learn/develop etc. I can instinctively see the benefit of learning math facts/times tables and reading but really don't see the benefits of spelling. I wonder if there is really a connection between learning to spell and good reading comprehension. If a 6 year old is going to miss his bath, miss sitting with parents cooking dinner, or miss playing for 30 minutes for it, I'd like to think there was some serious evidence that it mattered.

[MommaGee]

Canyou we all might have spellcheck (except on MN!!) but it takes twice as long to go back tbrough an article correctong the spellings than to juat type it correctly surely? And if you can't spell you may correct it to the wrong word meaning the comprehension will be affected.

OP who has your xhild before and after school? Do they go to after school clubs? I would be asking them to do it with a tome limit. If tbey jave to write 10 words 5 times get them to do each word once, then a second time, then a third... at the end of the set time stop. If they can do it flr 15 mins in the morning and 15 on the evening then sign it off stating there was no more time

[ColaSpangles]

I agree with those who are saying pressure on such young children is counter productive. My DD always got stuff done really well in primary, but my young-in-year DS struggled mightily and was always being kept in at break (great way to "punish" hyperactive little boys). He got really upset all the time and began to believe the culture that seemed to imply he wasn't bright. Then he started secondary and was reassessed. They obviously took no notice of his fairly damning primary reports and results and set him and all the others their own secondary style tests. My son is in set 1 or 2 out of 5 sets in every subject. He now likes learning. The system is very flawed at primary IMO, not fault of teachers who are under huge pressure. IME, just make sure you reassure your child that primary results do not affect secondary and it's the school's ratings that are under pressure, not him as a person.